I really need help, really, I need help please much respect I am sorry
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
I really need help, really, I need help please much respect I am sorry
I wrote this to an unnamed mod tonight, and this is the real situation, I am sorry for all my BS, honestly, its over I am going to lose my daughter forever if I don't get sober, I know my integrity is in question and what ever, but this is the real deal that mod told me to post it, so here it is sorry for serial posting tonight.
Honestly, I don't know what to do, this is it, no gambling no drinking, no drugs no nothing. I am bedding in for my daughter man, I am lost.
I know you know my history, but this is the hand that rocked the cradle, I am barely doing this, but on my last chance they are testing me almost daily at outpatient rehab and about once a week random now with CPS and thats the 80 etg test. Now honestly its get sober or lose it all daughter included.
I know I am dick and difficult and made your's and anne's life a pain at times, but man this is the first time I am serious, and really have no idea how to deal with this, I am going to ride it out, and taking my meds.... BUT brother how the hell do I do this
Honestly, I don't know what to do, this is it, no gambling no drinking, no drugs no nothing. I am bedding in for my daughter man, I am lost.
I know you know my history, but this is the hand that rocked the cradle, I am barely doing this, but on my last chance they are testing me almost daily at outpatient rehab and about once a week random now with CPS and thats the 80 etg test. Now honestly its get sober or lose it all daughter included.
I know I am dick and difficult and made your's and anne's life a pain at times, but man this is the first time I am serious, and really have no idea how to deal with this, I am going to ride it out, and taking my meds.... BUT brother how the hell do I do this
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,434
Like an unnamed mod said, you have to take it a day at a time Jeremy 
It's going to be difficult..that's why you need as much support as you can find...
if you don't like AA that makes it harder because I'm not sure how many of the meeting based secular groups like SMART or LifeRing are near you.
It's not a catastrophe tho. I think you could make a lot more use of SR.
Post in the Class of April support thread, join the 24 hour Recovery connection thread - thats a good fun way to commit to staying sober each day.
The more days you get through the easier this will be Jeremy.
I've never met anyone who was incapable of getting sober if they really wanted to be - I see no reason why you would be the exception.
Forget about the past...I think you'll find the vast majority of people here just want what's best for you
D
It's going to be difficult..that's why you need as much support as you can find...
if you don't like AA that makes it harder because I'm not sure how many of the meeting based secular groups like SMART or LifeRing are near you.
It's not a catastrophe tho. I think you could make a lot more use of SR.
Post in the Class of April support thread, join the 24 hour Recovery connection thread - thats a good fun way to commit to staying sober each day.
The more days you get through the easier this will be Jeremy.
I've never met anyone who was incapable of getting sober if they really wanted to be - I see no reason why you would be the exception.
Forget about the past...I think you'll find the vast majority of people here just want what's best for you
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,243
I don't know your story but mine was pathetic as all get out. Alcohol basically destroyed my life including losing wife, children not talking to me in well over 5 years and almost killing myself with DT's. I absolutely would not do anything about it until I hit the very bottom.
For me I found AA to be very effective and I surrendered completely to it. I got a sponsor immediately worked the steps and did exactly what he told me to do. To supplement that I spent tons of time here reading posts and trying to help anybody I thought I could help. The question is are you ready to step up to the plate. It's not worth waiting until you lose your daughter. I lost 4 daughters for well over 5 years.
Remember that addictions always get worse they never get better. It's like going down on an elevator. You can get off any floor you like. Why not get off the down elevator before you go too low? Believe me if I did it so can you!
For me I found AA to be very effective and I surrendered completely to it. I got a sponsor immediately worked the steps and did exactly what he told me to do. To supplement that I spent tons of time here reading posts and trying to help anybody I thought I could help. The question is are you ready to step up to the plate. It's not worth waiting until you lose your daughter. I lost 4 daughters for well over 5 years.
Remember that addictions always get worse they never get better. It's like going down on an elevator. You can get off any floor you like. Why not get off the down elevator before you go too low? Believe me if I did it so can you!
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,039
I second Dee's words, Jeremy. I've read your posts a while and never put up a reply, but I have little doubt you can get sober if you seriously try and seriously, honestly want it -- not for your daughter or any other reason but because you really want to change.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Hey TDG ,
sobriety is yours if you want it enough . You'd have been amazed at the guff that came outta my mouth when still actively using .
Concentrate on your sobriety and other things will fall into place after , whilst you are still drinking you will flounder like a fish in a net , a tangled ball of confusion and hurt .
In my experience none of that will change until you suck it all up and get sober .
It stinks getting sober and having to deal with stuff but it's better than getting dragged along in the tangled net of addiction .
With sobriety though, once you get it , life pays you some real dividends and you can live in glory .
(definition of glory :-
resplendent beauty or magnificence:
a state of great splendor, magnificence, or prosperity.
a state of absolute happiness, gratification, contentment,
the splendor and bliss of heaven.)
Keep on
m
sobriety is yours if you want it enough . You'd have been amazed at the guff that came outta my mouth when still actively using .
Concentrate on your sobriety and other things will fall into place after , whilst you are still drinking you will flounder like a fish in a net , a tangled ball of confusion and hurt .
In my experience none of that will change until you suck it all up and get sober .
It stinks getting sober and having to deal with stuff but it's better than getting dragged along in the tangled net of addiction .
With sobriety though, once you get it , life pays you some real dividends and you can live in glory .
(definition of glory :-
resplendent beauty or magnificence:
a state of great splendor, magnificence, or prosperity.
a state of absolute happiness, gratification, contentment,
the splendor and bliss of heaven.)
Keep on
m
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
I'm just riding this rock like anyone else, very sick woke up and can't sleep. thanks to everyone for replying, i am trying so hard, the days are long and I am addicted to lots of stuff, but getting on as best as i can.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Fingerlakes,NY
Posts: 4,536
I don't really see where you have much of a choice Jeremy...you haven't in a long time. You have resources available to you that some people don't have. Utilize them. Get off the merry go round...it hasn't been much of a fun ride for too long now.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
Yeah I have the flu, its ok. I am listening to show tunes on Youtube, and doing ok. LOL, puking my brains out, I am ok. Listening to Lee Majors, from Paint Your Wagon, Wandering star. Thats how I feel, I was born under a wandering star. Otherwise having a good morning.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
Della, I don't have any choice, thats the reality. Gosh, such a scary proposition, get sober or lose it all. Not sure what to do, its crazy out there.Thanks Mecanix and others, I am going to do this, so cliche right. I have no choice, so much responsibility, taking my meds and plugging along. All I can do.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
Oh my Dee said Steve Austin I am laughing myself to death. You know Dee, I never heard of Tom Waits till I saw him on your profile, and now I love the song Chocalate Jesus, that man is a genius in his own right and I love everything he did. LOL
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