Summer Job in a Bar??
30 Days & Under Club
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: The Southeast, USA
Posts: 828
I'm sure I already know the answer to this, but, I just need sober people to tell me "No!"
What do you guys think about a summer job in a bar? (Hhmm... Even my AV is laughing at my audacity to ask such a ridiculous question. That's bad!!)
Anyway, not as a bartender / barback, but as a hostess?
I went to my fav Mexican restaurant/bar (tonight) and had dinner... They brought me my favorite drink (w/o me asking) and I said no thanks... Then, I started talking to one of my friends and mentioned I was looking for a summer job--to bring in extra $$ on top of my summer (teacher) salary--and they said they'd hire me as a hostess/promoter because I'm "A happy and friendly person."
Thoughts? -__-
What do you guys think about a summer job in a bar? (Hhmm... Even my AV is laughing at my audacity to ask such a ridiculous question. That's bad!!)
Anyway, not as a bartender / barback, but as a hostess?
I went to my fav Mexican restaurant/bar (tonight) and had dinner... They brought me my favorite drink (w/o me asking) and I said no thanks... Then, I started talking to one of my friends and mentioned I was looking for a summer job--to bring in extra $$ on top of my summer (teacher) salary--and they said they'd hire me as a hostess/promoter because I'm "A happy and friendly person."
Thoughts? -__-
Guest
Join Date: May 2014
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,086
I really don't recommend it. I worked as a bartender for years and just being in that environment wasn't a good thing for me, I can't even imagine how I'd stay sober as I know that I'd compare my drinking to those around me and before I knew it, back to heavy drinking!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Seattle, Washington
Posts: 149
Originally Posted by SoberRunner 
I'm sure I already know the answer to this, but, I just need sober people to tell me "No!"
What do you guys think about a summer job in a bar? (Hhmm... Even my AV is laughing at my audacity to ask such a ridiculous question. That's bad!!)
Anyway, not as a bartender / barback, but as a hostess?
I went to my fav Mexican restaurant/bar (tonight) and had dinner... They brought me my favorite drink (w/o me asking) and I said no thanks... Then, I started talking to one of my friends and mentioned I was looking for a summer job--to bring in extra $$ on top of my summer (teacher) salary--and they said they'd hire me as a hostess/promoter because I'm "A happy and friendly person."
Thoughts? -__-
What do you guys think about a summer job in a bar? (Hhmm... Even my AV is laughing at my audacity to ask such a ridiculous question. That's bad!!)
Anyway, not as a bartender / barback, but as a hostess?
I went to my fav Mexican restaurant/bar (tonight) and had dinner... They brought me my favorite drink (w/o me asking) and I said no thanks... Then, I started talking to one of my friends and mentioned I was looking for a summer job--to bring in extra $$ on top of my summer (teacher) salary--and they said they'd hire me as a hostess/promoter because I'm "A happy and friendly person."
Thoughts? -__-
There's a difference between sobriety and abstinence. When I was abstinent, I was tempted, sobriety engenders no temptation.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
"I'm sure I already know the answer to this, but, I just need sober people to tell me "No!"
Even with a couple years of recover behind me I can still need to run things by someone else to get the," yer friggin nuts for even thinkin about doing that" through my head.
So, here I am, getting farther and farther away from my last drink, then I decide to go work in a bar. Did a lot of footwork getting all the temptations out of my life and walk smack dab into it.
Sounds rather insane for me to do that,doesn't it?
I have a friend that when I met him he was 12 years sober. He got a job in a bar/ restaurant as a cook. I knew quite a bit of his story and this didn't sound like a good idea. I said It seemed he would probably be ok for a while, but I was thinking eventually something's going to happen. A few other people shared their concerns,too.
He took the job. He was good for a few months, although I heard quite often his complaining about the patrons getting drunk irritated him( imagine that, patrons in a bar getting drunk!!!).
Then one day he called to say he quit. He caught himself sniffing the bottle caps and for some reason that was what got him out of denial about that job being a bad idea.
It took a couple months to get to that point, but he got there and if he didn't catch it.........
Soooo, yo need sober poeple to tell you no, which tells me you already know its gong to be Russian roulette.
Do you like playing russian roulette? No, you don't.
Even with a couple years of recover behind me I can still need to run things by someone else to get the," yer friggin nuts for even thinkin about doing that" through my head.
So, here I am, getting farther and farther away from my last drink, then I decide to go work in a bar. Did a lot of footwork getting all the temptations out of my life and walk smack dab into it.
Sounds rather insane for me to do that,doesn't it?
I have a friend that when I met him he was 12 years sober. He got a job in a bar/ restaurant as a cook. I knew quite a bit of his story and this didn't sound like a good idea. I said It seemed he would probably be ok for a while, but I was thinking eventually something's going to happen. A few other people shared their concerns,too.
He took the job. He was good for a few months, although I heard quite often his complaining about the patrons getting drunk irritated him( imagine that, patrons in a bar getting drunk!!!).
Then one day he called to say he quit. He caught himself sniffing the bottle caps and for some reason that was what got him out of denial about that job being a bad idea.
It took a couple months to get to that point, but he got there and if he didn't catch it.........
Soooo, yo need sober poeple to tell you no, which tells me you already know its gong to be Russian roulette.
Do you like playing russian roulette? No, you don't.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Seattle, Washington
Posts: 149
Originally Posted by tomsteve
"I'm sure I already know the answer to this, but, I just need sober people to tell me "No!"
Even with a couple years of recover behind me I can still need to run things by someone else to get the," yer friggin nuts for even thinkin about doing that" through my head.
So, here I am, getting farther and farther away from my last drink, then I decide to go work in a bar. Did a lot of footwork getting all the temptations out of my life and walk smack dab into it.
Sounds rather insane for me to do that,doesn't it?
I have a friend that when I met him he was 12 years sober. He got a job in a bar/ restaurant as a cook. I knew quite a bit of his story and this didn't sound like a good idea. I said It seemed he would probably be ok for a while, but I was thinking eventually something's going to happen. A few other people shared their concerns,too.
He took the job. He was good for a few months, although I heard quite often his complaining about the patrons getting drunk irritated him( imagine that, patrons in a bar getting drunk!!!).
Then one day he called to say he quit. He caught himself sniffing the bottle caps and for some reason that was what got him out of denial about that job being a bad idea.
It took a couple months to get to that point, but he got there and if he didn't catch it.........
Soooo, yo need sober poeple to tell you no, which tells me you already know its gong to be Russian roulette.
Do you like playing russian roulette? No, you don't.
Even with a couple years of recover behind me I can still need to run things by someone else to get the," yer friggin nuts for even thinkin about doing that" through my head.
So, here I am, getting farther and farther away from my last drink, then I decide to go work in a bar. Did a lot of footwork getting all the temptations out of my life and walk smack dab into it.
Sounds rather insane for me to do that,doesn't it?
I have a friend that when I met him he was 12 years sober. He got a job in a bar/ restaurant as a cook. I knew quite a bit of his story and this didn't sound like a good idea. I said It seemed he would probably be ok for a while, but I was thinking eventually something's going to happen. A few other people shared their concerns,too.
He took the job. He was good for a few months, although I heard quite often his complaining about the patrons getting drunk irritated him( imagine that, patrons in a bar getting drunk!!!).
Then one day he called to say he quit. He caught himself sniffing the bottle caps and for some reason that was what got him out of denial about that job being a bad idea.
It took a couple months to get to that point, but he got there and if he didn't catch it.........
Soooo, yo need sober poeple to tell you no, which tells me you already know its gong to be Russian roulette.
Do you like playing russian roulette? No, you don't.
"Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so.
We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything! Ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant places on the theory he would escape the alcohol problem.
In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed.
So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties. To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn't.
You will note that we made an important qualification. Therefore, ask yourself on each occasion, "Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such places?" If you answer these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension. Go or stay away, whichever seems best. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you can bring to it. But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead!"
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,552
I wouldn't. I am a bartender now and it's not so much the temptation that is a problem, it's the mentality of the patrons. I'm trying desperately to get out. I see every level of alcohol use and abuse you could imagine. The president spends 6-8 hours in there a night and becomes combative. Trying to deal with people nearing the end of active alcoholism is indeed an annoying challenge. Then there are the miserable dry drunks. They sip sodas and look as though life is over for them. It takes a very strong mind to work in that setting and I can tell you I would trade it in a heartbeat if I could find something else.
Jennifer
Jennifer
30 Days & Under Club
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: The Southeast, USA
Posts: 828
Many thanks to everyone who has responded!!
Yes, I'm struggling to stay sober, long term... I can get a couple of days under my belt but Fri or Sat usually trips me up. I say it's b/c I'm single and I feel like I should have "fun" at least 1 day/week but that's probably just my AV...
Anyway, the funny thing is--well, it's not funny--is that they said they'd hire me as the hostess because I wouldn't get "drunk-on-the-job" like most of the people who work there. (Little do they know!!!) BUT, I'm not going to fool myself... My friends who currently work there didn't always drink as much as they do now. And, I'm sure they didn't start working there thinking they'd get drunk everytime they go to work.
That said, they usually give me a hard time because I rarely drink more than 2 drinks when I go there and I always turn down (free) shots... (I'm starting to think they think it's a challenge to get me to drink more than 2 drinks and/or take shots!)
Anyway, I guess my response to alcohol (there) makes them think I'd be a good hostess!?
FYI: I'm not trying to pretend like I don't drink alot... Wine just happens to be my kryptonite and this is a mexican restaurant/tequila bar, and liquor isn't my forte... This is why they think I don't drink a lot but, like a true alcoholic, I'm sure I'd (eventually) start liking liquor if I'm around it on a daily basis?
Yes, I'm struggling to stay sober, long term... I can get a couple of days under my belt but Fri or Sat usually trips me up. I say it's b/c I'm single and I feel like I should have "fun" at least 1 day/week but that's probably just my AV...
Anyway, the funny thing is--well, it's not funny--is that they said they'd hire me as the hostess because I wouldn't get "drunk-on-the-job" like most of the people who work there. (Little do they know!!!) BUT, I'm not going to fool myself... My friends who currently work there didn't always drink as much as they do now. And, I'm sure they didn't start working there thinking they'd get drunk everytime they go to work.
That said, they usually give me a hard time because I rarely drink more than 2 drinks when I go there and I always turn down (free) shots... (I'm starting to think they think it's a challenge to get me to drink more than 2 drinks and/or take shots!)
Anyway, I guess my response to alcohol (there) makes them think I'd be a good hostess!?
FYI: I'm not trying to pretend like I don't drink alot... Wine just happens to be my kryptonite and this is a mexican restaurant/tequila bar, and liquor isn't my forte... This is why they think I don't drink a lot but, like a true alcoholic, I'm sure I'd (eventually) start liking liquor if I'm around it on a daily basis?
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Based on your last post theres no way you should take this job imo
I had to step bk & build my sober muscles up and even now even tho im cool with it i still wouldnt as its just not me and im coming up on 2 years sober
I had to step bk & build my sober muscles up and even now even tho im cool with it i still wouldnt as its just not me and im coming up on 2 years sober
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
What tomsteve said in Spades.. yp
Originally Posted by tomsteve
"I'm sure I already know the answer to this, but, I just need sober people to tell me "No!"
Even with a couple years of recover behind me I can still need to run things by someone else to get the," yer friggin nuts for even thinkin about doing that" through my head.
So, here I am, getting farther and farther away from my last drink, then I decide to go work in a bar. Did a lot of footwork getting all the temptations out of my life and walk smack dab into it.
Sounds rather insane for me to do that,doesn't it?
I have a friend that when I met him he was 12 years sober. He got a job in a bar/ restaurant as a cook. I knew quite a bit of his story and this didn't sound like a good idea. I said It seemed he would probably be ok for a while, but I was thinking eventually something's going to happen. A few other people shared their concerns,too.
He took the job. He was good for a few months, although I heard quite often his complaining about the patrons getting drunk irritated him( imagine that, patrons in a bar getting drunk!!!).
Then one day he called to say he quit. He caught himself sniffing the bottle caps and for some reason that was what got him out of denial about that job being a bad idea.
It took a couple months to get to that point, but he got there and if he didn't catch it.........
Soooo, yo need sober poeple to tell you no, which tells me you already know its gong to be Russian roulette.
Do you like playing russian roulette? No, you don't.
Even with a couple years of recover behind me I can still need to run things by someone else to get the," yer friggin nuts for even thinkin about doing that" through my head.
So, here I am, getting farther and farther away from my last drink, then I decide to go work in a bar. Did a lot of footwork getting all the temptations out of my life and walk smack dab into it.
Sounds rather insane for me to do that,doesn't it?
I have a friend that when I met him he was 12 years sober. He got a job in a bar/ restaurant as a cook. I knew quite a bit of his story and this didn't sound like a good idea. I said It seemed he would probably be ok for a while, but I was thinking eventually something's going to happen. A few other people shared their concerns,too.
He took the job. He was good for a few months, although I heard quite often his complaining about the patrons getting drunk irritated him( imagine that, patrons in a bar getting drunk!!!).
Then one day he called to say he quit. He caught himself sniffing the bottle caps and for some reason that was what got him out of denial about that job being a bad idea.
It took a couple months to get to that point, but he got there and if he didn't catch it.........
Soooo, yo need sober poeple to tell you no, which tells me you already know its gong to be Russian roulette.
Do you like playing russian roulette? No, you don't.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Seattle, Washington
Posts: 149
Originally Posted by Dee74
I think it's beyond most people new in recovery, and especially those struggling to stay sober.
I certainly couldn't have done it myself.
D
I certainly couldn't have done it myself.
D
I submit, there's more emphasis on the symptom (drinking), than the problem. In part this is due to the celebrity oriented materialistically competitive designers society of the bigger, better, faster syndrome manipulated by the media via Madison Avenue. This has infiltrated just about every aspect of life, including recovery for non- addicts with "I'm not enough-ism, I don't measure-up-ism." This is shame based, which is the crux of the problem re: substance and non-substance addiction.
Also, the junk science involved in recovery is skewed to conform to the money making machine that essentially emphasizes the symptom (drinking, not drinking) and not enough emphasis is placed on the reasons for alcoholism.
Junk science examples re: alcoholism, i.e. preexisting genetics. Alcoholic carving is due to an allergic reaction; yet there's no antigen and there has to be for an allergy to exist.
Brain scans and other evidence indicating genetic predisposition. To this day no gene(s) have been isolated, yet the money making machine claims alcoholism to be genetic. What about the #1 killer tobacco smoking? Is science going to conjure the nicotine gene(s) ;-)
Rehab's that use the 12 step model suggest after clients leave rehab INTO the real world that they continue the 12 Steps with AA meetings where "I'm not enough-ism / measuring-up to the AA pecking order of not drinking (symptom) is pervasive. If anyone doubts the existence of the pecking order, some members, especially so-called old-timers, that tend to be placed on pedestals are described by how much sober time they have.
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