A breakthrough
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 31
A breakthrough
I've been talking alot to my husband about quitting and seeking out resources, etc for when he's ready. He has repeatedly said he knows he has to quit, for his physical, emotional and spiritual health - but the habits of drinking are deeply ingrained. He also would like to have another child but he "knows [he] has to get his life right first". So, yesterday I was talking a bit with him about treatment options and how much dd and I need him and he got very agitated and started to cry. He told me that he's been drinking to bury something he did that he's ashamed of. He admitted it all, I forgave him, he ate dinner with us, read his Bible, prayed with me and seemed so much lighter. He said he's done with drink. Anyone who is willing to pray with us as he steps into this very hard path, I would be so grateful.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
HoldingOn, my prayers are with you, but I fear it will take ACTION on the part of your A, not just a declaration that "he is done w/drink" after making an excuse as to why he drinks, to change anything.
As always, wishing you strength and clarity.
As always, wishing you strength and clarity.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 31
Please. I was willing to spend all we have to send him to inpatient and then later, marriage counselling. That's when the floodgates opened. He said he is willing to do AA if it gets hard. I have a list of meetings.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Rapid City, MI
Posts: 214
This is his recovery, if he wants it (and thankfully, it sounds like he does). You can give him the list, but then you can get started on YOUR OWN recovery. Have you been to Al Anon? Sometimes they meet when AA meets, which is convenient. Try it, you'll be glad you did!
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by HoldingOntoGod 
Please. I was willing to spend all we have to send him to inpatient and then later, marriage counselling. That's when the floodgates opened. He said he is willing to do AA if it gets hard. I have a list of meetings.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
HoldingOn, it's great that he's been sober for 3 days. "The journey of a thousand miles starts w/a single step", as they say. But as another poster here said, not drinking and recovery are NOT the same thing.
What are you doing for YOU besides hanging on to those high hopes? I've seen it said here many times that "hope is not a plan", and in my experience, that's been true.
You said you have a list of AA meetings for HIM--have you gone to Alanon for YOU? Take it from someone who thought the A was the only one w/problems that needed fixing, you have as much work to do as he does...
Wishing you the strength and clarity you need.
What are you doing for YOU besides hanging on to those high hopes? I've seen it said here many times that "hope is not a plan", and in my experience, that's been true.
You said you have a list of AA meetings for HIM--have you gone to Alanon for YOU? Take it from someone who thought the A was the only one w/problems that needed fixing, you have as much work to do as he does...
Wishing you the strength and clarity you need.
I'm struggling with all-day anxiety attacks right now, so I'm just trying to get through those.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
HoldingOntoGod......try google search for Celebrate Recovery in your area. It is held in various churches.....it is a faith-based 12 step recovery program for alcoholic and family, alike. (this is how I understand it).
dandylion
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
http://al-anon.org/?gclid=CjwKEAjw9u...dPHRoCaYDw_wcB
This link is to the overall Alanon site--clicking on Find a Meeting at the top of the page will give you every option imaginable for meetings, worldwide and electronic included.
I hope you find one soon, and I hope you find the support you need.
This link is to the overall Alanon site--clicking on Find a Meeting at the top of the page will give you every option imaginable for meetings, worldwide and electronic included.
I hope you find one soon, and I hope you find the support you need.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,826
A.A is the way to go.
Get a sponsor, get into the Steps, you stay sober.
Get a sponsor, get into the Steps, you stay sober.
Originally Posted by HoldingOntoGod
Please. I was willing to spend all we have to send him to inpatient and then later, marriage counselling. That's when the floodgates opened. He said he is willing to do AA if it gets hard. I have a list of meetings.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
