MJane91

Hi

in 23 and i know i have a drinking problem and i want to commit to being sober and staying that way...

has any alcoholics been sober and learnt to drink moderately in the future or is that a no go area?!

just curious

MJ x

ZaBoozer

For a alcoholic, we cannot control the booze, it controls us. No go area I'm afraid.

MIRecovery

I tried to make it work for 20 years. Hopeless cause for me

Kevin78

No go for me as well. 15ish years. Tried probably every combination. I still ended up in the gutter.

chordcowboy

Hi MJane91

well, I have certainty known some very heavy drinkers who change their behaviour as they get older or have a family. It seems most likely to happen at a relatively young age and kind of naturally - just part of the maturing process, very little work required.

BUT, of those people whom I have known who have had to put work into managing their drinking, the story is very different. If you have a complicated, damaging and pervading relationship with alcohol (even when you are not drinking it) then I reckon your chances of returning to 'social drinking' are so slim as to be not worth betting on.

Just my opinion but I learnt to my cost last week that all of the new knowledge and information I have gained in a sober month on SR did not magically bring with it the elusive power of moderation that part of me hoped it might! (Surprise surprise! LOL!)

Best wishes to you

CC

doggonecarl

That statement about being committed to sobriety is at odds with drinking moderately. So what is it? You are committed to sobriety unless you can figure how to drink normally?

ScottFromWI

Alcoholism by definition is the inability to moderate or control intake. So the two are definitely not compatible.

Soberwolf

Its a genuine question so

Before i admitted i was alcoholic i done EVERYTHING in my power to control my drinking i was flawed from the beginning id buy a litre of vodka that isnt normal and my thinking bk then was if i drink it and dont get sick etc then im not alcoholic

i always got sick there was no control even when i tried

i landed on my arse enough times to know that it was always going to be that way if i drink i accept that im 32 so young-ish but i accept that it saves my life daily

Incontrol15

I've quit nicotine for a year (twice) only to be hooked after smoking "just one".

I've gone months and years without smoking pot. Only to end up high every day and all day when I got some despite telling myself I'll only do it once in a while.

Maybe some can? I know I can't.
The sad part is, It's hard to imagine that I'll never drink again. It's difficult enough for me to make a 24 promise at this point! I already wish I had posted a 1hr promise. Lol.

Just one drink turns to just one day, which turns to just one bottle (or 12 pack) then just one.....

I've experienced it too many times to think just one is ok. But...it's going to be harder with booze as it's everywhere and I can get it any time.

midgetcop

Speaking for myself - I tried for 10+ years to moderate my drinking. It simply didn't work, and the effort just wasn't worth it. Sober living in many ways = easier living.

BadSneakers

I'm an addict but I have learned (the hard way and repeatedly) that moderation with my drugs of choice is not realistic.

It's a familiar song and dance for most addicts and alcoholics. "I can just use on the weekend" becomes "I can just use on the weekend and midweek." Then it becomes "Just tonight, as well, cause it was a rough day at work." I'm sure you can imagine where it goes from there. People in recovery call this playing the tape through to the end. You know where you're going to end up if you head down this road, so it's best to not even take that first step.

YMMV, of course, just my feelings on the matter. Best of luck to you.

Db1105

I sobered up at 17. I tried my best to moderate, just smoke pot, just drink beer, just do acid, just a couple beers and a little pot, just, just, just. Not drinking this past three decades plus hasn't stopped me from enjoying life.

MarathonMan

I thought I could moderate after 2.5 years os sobriety...since the its destroyed my fitness, self esteem and is about a milimetre from destroying my marriage. People who can moderate never find this site because theyre not sat at home obsessing over whether or not theyre drinking to much.

Good luck what ever route you take

JaneLane

Personally, I can't. I'm 27 and I've spent years trying moderation. The amount of headspace it took up worrying if I had a problem or didn't and my moderating "rules" was crazy.

Sobriety is hard but it's got to be better than all the negative things that alcohol brings me.

Hawkeye13

I can't do it either.
Life is so much easier and more peaceful in sobriety.

I fall back in that moderation idea (foolishly) but it simply never works

Charlie117926

I tried every combination of "trying" to control my drinking / drinking in moderation. I tried it for years. The outcome was failure every time.

My only option was quitting

newpage119

I tried moderating, many times. Didn't work. At all.
Even tried quitting for 14 months, then thought....NOW I can moderate.
Didn't work. At all.

Then quit totally. That works!

Iconoclastic

You been told that an alcoholic cannot control the booze, that it controls US (alcoholics). This is a typical statement you'll hear with certain types of people, the AA fellowship is a prime example of this type of group speak. My experience shows this isn't necessarily true. I ran a saloon and in those days (50 years ago) it was traditional for a bartender to drink while on duty. I had control over the amount it drank due to being responsible for my business, e.g. a very expensive liquor license and the safety of my customers.

Tolerance is what separates alcoholics from moderate drinkers due to the drinking pattern being progressive, but evidence indicates the progression varies per individual and gender. Therefore, not all alcoholics drinking behavior is the same.

How one processes words can effect their perception, this is neuro-linguistics. here are examples. I was never powerless over alcohol, alcohol has NO POWER in and of itself due to being an INERT substance. In this context, some make statements like, "alcohol is a subtle foe" which is a quote from the AA text. An inert substance cannot be a foe, but my mind, my thinking process can be a foe so to speak. Our liquor is a symptom (an other AA text quote), DRINKING liquor is a symptom, not liquor. These are misnomers that are viewed as a substantive reality. The recovery group Narcotics Anonymous (NA) is a misnomer, because ONLY people can be anonymous, not a narcotic.

With some exceptions e.g. second into tertiary stages of alcoholism, alcoholism it's difficult to diagnose even professionally. This is why alcoholism for the most part is self-diagnosed. In other words, I've known many over the years that were diagnosed as alcoholic later to find they could drink moderately, my wife is one. Therefore, there's no litmus test to prove the idea (cucumber - pickle) that "once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic."

In conclusion, no matter what anyone told me professional or otherwise, I had to prove to myself that I was alcoholic.

anattaboy

There are sites dedicated to moderating but this ain't one of them.

Anna

I see a common theme here. Alcoholics cannot moderate their drinking. Most of us have tried, failed, become exhausted, sunk lower and eventually stopped drinking. For me, stopping drinking was a huge relief.