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compulsiveness - going with the grain - just a thought...

Old 04-20-2015, 05:23 AM
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compulsiveness - going with the grain - just a thought...

Hello all

Well, it is day 4 for me having got to day 30 on my first attempt. I have, naturally enough, been pondering what brought me to suddenly, and without too much inner debate drink a few beers, then quite a few beers!!!

Well, I can now see that it was coming for several days and that I had actually concluded those internal negotiations at least 48 hours before I actually partook!

So what can I do better this time? Well lots of things but here is just one thought.

I was determined not to do anything compulsively to replace drinking - but to step out of compulsion as a reason to do anything. But, the truth is I am a pretty compulsive person - and it ain't easy.

In the past, I have got into exercising quite compulsively and this time I only exercised very moderately so as not to go down that route.

But, I am thinking that a little obsession on the exercise front might not be a bad thing for a while. It makes me very health focussed and very thoughtful about what I consume.

Perhaps I should just allow myself to become a little immersed in that during early sobriety and not worry too much about the compulsiveness of it. A case of going with the grain and working with my personality rather than against it.

I don't ever get to extremes, just about an hour a day of running and free weights. But I do get so that I kind of have to have it or I can get pretty restless.

Anyway, I would be interested to hear your thoughts and experiences, that is for sure.

Thanks a lot

CC
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Old 04-20-2015, 05:37 AM
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Congratulations on taking this positive step. I am a weekend warrior myself - to use a phrase one of our friends have posted- and so I often hit the gym before work in the mornings to shave off the stress. I personally think it's a great idea. You are right to not want to go overboard and risk an injury, but the health benefits and mental positives are all so helpful in recovery. I read once that alcoholics' brains release more dopamine (the "feel good" neurotransmitter) than those who are not wired to be alcoholics. Hence why we overdo it. Exercise is a great way to stimulate dopamine release and feel good without engaging in destructive behavior. I say go for it. Moderation is key, friend, in everything.
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Old 04-20-2015, 05:38 AM
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Hi.
I think you ideas are helpful if continued. Reading many posts here also contribute to identification and help when the sobriety path gets rather bumpy.
For much more help in recovery I needed much more than not drinking. I a long time ago joined a fellowship where people understand the difficulty we have on the path of sobriety and the ways to continue on sober.

I and many rejected certain things that are needed like being honest with our self about our drinking AND accepting the fact I cannot drink in safety one day at a time in a row. Unfortunately many of them are below the grass roots.

I/we need to want to be sober and then the work on changing the drinking person we wanted to become sober. This part of recovery takes time and is challenging at times but the results we experience can be fantastic.

BE WELL
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Old 04-20-2015, 05:41 AM
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Good stuff Chordcowboy
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Old 04-20-2015, 06:05 AM
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Originally Posted by chordcowboy View Post
I was determined not to do anything compulsively to replace drinking - but to step out of compulsion as a reason to do anything. But, the truth is I am a pretty compulsive person - and it ain't easy.
I was compulsive about my drinking. So it made sense to me to be equally compulsive about my recovery. So I didn't shy away from being too immersed in my sobriety. I had to be.

As I read many times here on SR...put as much effort into your recovery as you did into your addiction and you have a good chance for success.
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Old 04-20-2015, 06:11 AM
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I think many of us, including me, tend to do things to extreme. However, I don't think an hour of exercising a day is extreme. Hopefully, if you have to miss a day here and there, you will be able to cope with it.

I think it's good that you are looking for the causes of your relapse and that you're aware you made the mental decision quite awhile before you actually drank. I remember doing that too. Awareness of this behaviour can help you the next time.
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Old 04-20-2015, 06:16 AM
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Are you in AA? If so, keep reviewing the first three steps and see if you can figure out where you're not totally connected.

Nothing wrong with a little (or lot lol) of exercise
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Old 04-20-2015, 06:22 AM
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Thanks a lot, some excellent and very helpful responses here....as ever! I appreciate them very much.

I am finding the psychological aspects of abstinence to be fascinating - the subtly and sophistication of the messages that come from within our own psyches to lead us back towards alcohol. Don't get me wrong; I sincerely wish I never had to discover this fascinating experience - but here I am, so might as well take an interest! :-)

I am starting to see how concerted the efforts must be to deal with those beguiling and at times highly convincing messages about my ability to drink without consequence. I think that the hardest thing to accept is that part of my own personality is treating me so horribly. I have accepted it as fact - but I am still in the process of really owning it as the truth - hope that makes some sense!!! :-)

CC
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Old 04-20-2015, 06:25 AM
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Recovery999

No, I am not in AA but I am open minded about trying it. I have signed up to an addiction counselling group locally but haven't actually been yet.

Thanks a lot

CC
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Old 04-20-2015, 06:28 AM
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I am very compulsive about everything, borderline OCD I think ( so does my counselor ). I'm working on reading a lot of self help books on meditation and mindfulness to help combat it, therapy helps too. I am pretty certain it's a very common thing among addicts.
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