When do we stop being newcomers?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 831
When do we stop being newcomers?
I have a little over a year clean and sober. I still think of myself as new to recovery.
I am suffering tonight, experiencing an emotional meltdown like I have not had since April of 2014.
I don't want to drink or get high. I don't even mind feeling this way, as long as it doesn't last for more than a day or two. But right now it's raw and as its 2 in the morning I have no one to talk to.
I should try to get some sleep, but the day's events just keep playing over and over in my head and I can't stop crying. Or sobbing.
I guess my question is irrelevant, I just need someone to talk to.
I am suffering tonight, experiencing an emotional meltdown like I have not had since April of 2014.
I don't want to drink or get high. I don't even mind feeling this way, as long as it doesn't last for more than a day or two. But right now it's raw and as its 2 in the morning I have no one to talk to.
I should try to get some sleep, but the day's events just keep playing over and over in my head and I can't stop crying. Or sobbing.
I guess my question is irrelevant, I just need someone to talk to.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I'm not sure about the newcomer tag - I'm still quite happy to identify as a newcomer, and I'm definitely still learning things....
I think I got a lot better at dealing with bad days, disappointments, resentment and just generally standing up for myself in the course of year 2 tho?
It is traumatic in the beginning. I wasn't very keen on the idea that someone may not like me....it went against 40 years of conditioning....
I got over it tho...in time
D
I think I got a lot better at dealing with bad days, disappointments, resentment and just generally standing up for myself in the course of year 2 tho?
It is traumatic in the beginning. I wasn't very keen on the idea that someone may not like me....it went against 40 years of conditioning....
I got over it tho...in time
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 831
Lol "bm" I might have to ask to change my username!
So much for sleeping. The distressing thoughts just keep marching in. Over and over again, the same thing, without end.
My OCD was in remission until my apartment flooded in January and I've been struggling with it ever since. It's like I completely forgot all of my coping mechanisms and now it's even worse because I know it can be managed but I'm totally sucking at it right now. Well, posting here is helping, but as soon as I stop along comes the thought parade again.
The only thing I'm not sucking at is staying sober. In the past an episode like this, especially one lasting 4 months, would have triggered a relapse. So there's that. Why can't tonights obsession be over that?
Ugh. Please, Brain, will you please shut up?! Hmmm nope. Didn't work.
So much for sleeping. The distressing thoughts just keep marching in. Over and over again, the same thing, without end.
My OCD was in remission until my apartment flooded in January and I've been struggling with it ever since. It's like I completely forgot all of my coping mechanisms and now it's even worse because I know it can be managed but I'm totally sucking at it right now. Well, posting here is helping, but as soon as I stop along comes the thought parade again.
The only thing I'm not sucking at is staying sober. In the past an episode like this, especially one lasting 4 months, would have triggered a relapse. So there's that. Why can't tonights obsession be over that?
Ugh. Please, Brain, will you please shut up?! Hmmm nope. Didn't work.
Guest
Join Date: May 2014
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,086
Hi Book,
I'm sorry you're having trouble sleeping. A flooded apartment would be stressful for anyone, don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes these things are easier to deal with, other times it is a massive challenge.
Congratulations on your sobriety :-)
I'm sorry you're having trouble sleeping. A flooded apartment would be stressful for anyone, don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes these things are easier to deal with, other times it is a massive challenge.
Congratulations on your sobriety :-)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 346
Hey Mave! (I am really glad I read the posts and didn't BM you 
)
Ugh, flooded apartments are the worst! I have flooded my apartment twice over the past 8 years. Tons of stress both times but I had hyped up the damage in my mind to so much more than it turned out to be.
Congrats on a year sober.
Hope you have been able to fall asleep.
)Ugh, flooded apartments are the worst! I have flooded my apartment twice over the past 8 years. Tons of stress both times but I had hyped up the damage in my mind to so much more than it turned out to be.
Congrats on a year sober.
Hope you have been able to fall asleep.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,450
I think a lot of people here experience what you are. Whether we are more sensitive souls or alcohol has made us emotionally crippled, I don't know. However, I still think a lot of us are permanently different than "normies.". It's nice there is always someone here to respond to our pleas for help.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 630
Originally Posted by bookmaven 
I have a little over a year clean and sober. I still think of myself as new to recovery.
I am suffering tonight, experiencing an emotional meltdown like I have not had since April of 2014.
I don't want to drink or get high. I don't even mind feeling this way, as long as it doesn't last for more than a day or two. But right now it's raw and as its 2 in the morning I have no one to talk to.
I should try to get some sleep, but the day's events just keep playing over and over in my head and I can't stop crying. Or sobbing.
I guess my question is irrelevant, I just need someone to talk to.
I am suffering tonight, experiencing an emotional meltdown like I have not had since April of 2014.
I don't want to drink or get high. I don't even mind feeling this way, as long as it doesn't last for more than a day or two. But right now it's raw and as its 2 in the morning I have no one to talk to.
I should try to get some sleep, but the day's events just keep playing over and over in my head and I can't stop crying. Or sobbing.
I guess my question is irrelevant, I just need someone to talk to.
Have you tried meditation?
It works wonders to calm our busy minds.....
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Hi Bookmaven,
I'm sorry that you had a tough night. I hope that whatever caused your emotional meltdown last night seems more manageable this morning.
I have had days like that, when the wheels just keep spinning on and on and don't want to stop. I have a few things that I do when that happens which help to make me feel better. I'm really glad that you came here and posted.
I'm sorry that you had a tough night. I hope that whatever caused your emotional meltdown last night seems more manageable this morning.
I have had days like that, when the wheels just keep spinning on and on and don't want to stop. I have a few things that I do when that happens which help to make me feel better. I'm really glad that you came here and posted.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Hope you were able to get some rest Bookmaven! I know I've had those nights as well.
I'll probably always identify myself as a newcomer. I definitely know with only 9+ months right now, I am fully immersed in the newcomer trenches.
I was talking with a friend on Saturday at lunch. He had ordered a beer and asked if I wanted one. I told him quite simply that I don't drink anymore; I'm very comfortable telling my story and turning down drinks now. He asked how long it had been since my last drink so I told him, 285 days.
His comment relating to my sobriety was "you're not trying any more, you are actually doing it". To those without a problem, they can turn the switch on and off... to me, I will always have to try, to never give up... monthly, daily, hourly. As soon as I let my guard down I will relapse.
I'm very thankful to be a newcomer that hasn't had a drink for a while.
Great job on posting last night Bookmaven. Hope you are resting now!
I'll probably always identify myself as a newcomer. I definitely know with only 9+ months right now, I am fully immersed in the newcomer trenches.
I was talking with a friend on Saturday at lunch. He had ordered a beer and asked if I wanted one. I told him quite simply that I don't drink anymore; I'm very comfortable telling my story and turning down drinks now. He asked how long it had been since my last drink so I told him, 285 days.
His comment relating to my sobriety was "you're not trying any more, you are actually doing it". To those without a problem, they can turn the switch on and off... to me, I will always have to try, to never give up... monthly, daily, hourly. As soon as I let my guard down I will relapse.
I'm very thankful to be a newcomer that hasn't had a drink for a while.
Great job on posting last night Bookmaven. Hope you are resting now!
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Wishing you relief from your struggles and nothing lasts forever. I have to constantly remind myself of what I do have not what I don't.
I will always be a newcomer (2097 days) because I may know more than I did but less than what I should
I will always be a newcomer (2097 days) because I may know more than I did but less than what I should
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I hope you got some rest. I hate nights like that. I just had one the other day. I got up and watched some innocuous television which helped. It's the hamster wheel going and going. Someone told me year two is when things get better mentally. I've got 16 months now so I'm biding my time.
.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: united kingdom
Posts: 48
Hello Book i too have ocd and find things hard. I am only on day one of being sober but i am hoping that with the sobriety my ocd will also ease up.
Just to say if you ever want to talk about being sober or ocd then i am here.
Just to say if you ever want to talk about being sober or ocd then i am here.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
At two years everything still feels new to me And I guess that's because I'm experiencing life as it was meant to be experienced, maybe? Sober, not bombed out of my mind. The way I see it... I am happy to be doing a lot of "first time" things even in my late 30's, hey... it's much better "late" than never! I watched my mother die from this. I don't want to repeat her mistake.
So maybe be thankful you are where you are at this moment, and try and focus on the good things you have going for you
I am learning that when I truly appreciate what I do have, that more seems to come my way
And I guess that's because I'm experiencing life as it was meant to be experienced, maybe? Sober, not bombed out of my mind. The way I see it... I am happy to be doing a lot of "first time" things even in my late 30's, hey... it's much better "late" than never! I watched my mother die from this. I don't want to repeat her mistake. So maybe be thankful you are where you are at this moment, and try and focus on the good things you have going for you
I am learning that when I truly appreciate what I do have, that more seems to come my way
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