JaneLane

Hi guys

I had a drink today. It's only 1pm and I already had one. Today was day nine of sobriety.

I know what happened. I didn't go to my usual Sunday morning meeting and I felt fed up after speaking to my mum and an old coworker. I felt as though I was back to where I was months ago.

I made the choice to drink and that's not cool. But I need to definitely work on how I cope with other people and how I let their own stuff affect me.

At the moment it's a free for all. I feel like I cannot protect myself. I need to work on this. I'm at a meeting tonight and will share.

Thanks loves for being here and for all your support and kindness.

Anna

You can and must protect yourself. Set boundaries that will work for you. My mother was a big trigger for me, so in the early days, I would only talk to her once a week, and it was brief. Take care of you.

IOAA2

Hi.

I needed to recognize that I can NEVER drink in safety again. Then I had to accept that as fact. To this day a lot of years later I still function on those truths.

I learned how to live a sober life at many meetings following the way of the program in the first 164 pages of the BB. No one said it’s easy, but it does get easier when we accept life happens even if we don’t drink.

I was always a I want it now person but have learned and try to practice EASY DOES IT AND IT WORKS IF WE WORK IT.

BE WELL

Dee74

I think this is one of the most fundamental lessons we all have to face.

Look at what happened Jane. and think of what you might have doen instead and what you will do next time.

You can do this - do the work, put in the effort and you'll get the dividends back

D

sugarbear1

Call and talk with someone in your network before you buy anything to drink or before you drink......

Keep moving forward!!!

ArtFriend

I have a lot of triggers at this point. I am in early sobriety (relatively) and I've had to shut down and sort out many things and relationships. I am deconstructing and then rebuilding. Unfortunately, I have had to go "no contact" with many people to do this. Very hard. I just hope they understand my needs to do this and are there on the other side (if there is one). You have to be "selfish" and put your needs first. Esp in early recovery.

strategery

You can use this experience to learn from and how to protect yourself better so this doesn't happen again. You can do it!

MJane91

Im new to this and Im trying to understand sobriety and I know you have to take one day at a time and I think its great with all the peoples support on here.

But if your trying to be sober does that mean you don't drink at all and If you do does that mean you have relapsed? No judgment at all because I was there only last week im just a little confused

MJ X.X

growpath

Sorry to hear this, Jane.

Make a good solid plan and account for ANYTHING that can happen in the early days and how to attack these things without picking up. If all else fails just know rule 1 works: DONT drink!

You can do this!!! Stay close to SR maybe next time an encounter happens with your mom or anyone post about it here on SR. Or write about it in a journal that helps me and most of the time the problem seems a lot smaller or more attackable when I get it out. But, drinking wont solve a thing. If anything it will make the problem worse.

Hugs! Jump back on!! Onward and Upward!!!

Anna

If you are trying to be sober you do not drink alcohol.

If you do drink, it means you have relapsed.

It's important after a relapse to get back to working on your sobriety again and to not let it keep you drinking.

LosingmyMisery

There will always be a reason to drink. The key for me, focus on all the reasons "not" to. Good luck on you sober journey.

Chadders

Hi Jane,
I'm sorry to hear this but as I think you realise yourself, it really isn't the end of the world. As others have said, dust yourself down and try and learn from what went wrong. It's great that you're still on SR - it would be easy to just disappear - please don't do that! Your experience might not be a good one for you right now but the fact that you've come back is a real positive and is sure to help others (including me of course) see the potential pitfalls. One thing I would implore of you though is don't allow relapsing to become a habit! You'll eventually give up giving up.
Anyway, it's still April so I expect you to keep posting in the April thread too buddy!

Best Wishes
C

Soberwolf

Lots of exellent advice in this thread JaneLane

Welcome Mjane91

Soberween

The actual relapse happens before the alcohol touches the lips. Usually the wheels of relapse are in motion long before being "fed up with mum or old co-worker." Not judging, but urging you to really look at the situation and how it can be avoided in order to continue down your sober path. Acceptance is also huge. I couldn't get sober until I finally accepted that alcohol is absolutely no longer an option. You have a disease that would like to see you dead.

Chadders

That's very true Soberween - and good advice too.

PurpleKnight

Go at things again Jane, tweak your plan!!

You can do this!!

Dee74

How are you doing Jane?

D

Ruby2

Hi Jane, I hope that your meeting helps this evening. It was always fits and starts with me. You are starting to recognize the triggers. That's a good step in the right direction. I'm glad you came here. Stick with it. We're here with you.

JaneLane

Thanks so much for your kind words and support everyone. I am grateful for each and every one of you!

My meeting last night went well. I feel a lot stronger today and my fiancé has been amazing about it. Today I'll be working on tweaking the recovery plan. I know I can do this :-)

MJane91

well done janelane! That's amazing every day gets a little easier <3 can i ask your opinion, im in the early stages of recovery my mum thinks its a good idea to stay in and not go out but i think i should set myself little goals like walk to the shop and buy sweets or something silly and refrain from buying any alcohol.... ? Ideas