Stung

I'm having a rough day and I've been struggling with self care all week and it's a day like today that I wish I had a normal mom. I wish I had a mom I could just call and whine to and that she would just tell me that she loves me and that I'm going to be okay.

I know that I'm going to be okay and that a bad day is just that but I want a mom to lean on and to support me when I just need a little extra. It's days like this where I feel myself wanting to call my own mom but man, this would really be opening myself up for some serious hurt. Vulnerable Daughter + NPD Mom = **** Storm. Especially since she wants to see my kids and I keep saying no. She would just destroy me with how much pain and hurt that I deserve because she can't have what she wants.

I'm 30 years old but I wish it was possible for some really nice 60ish year old normies to adopt me. Will I ever get over wanting to have a normal mom? Does that ever go away?

FeelingGreat

Hi Stung I know what you mean. I have an insecure mother who at times had problems with alcohol and passive/agressive personality but if we were upset or down she was brilliant. Quite a few times over the years she's backed us through marriage break-ups, affairs and assorted stuff-ups. You can forgive a lot with a mother like that.

If you want a normie pen-friend drop me a PM and I will send you my email address.

happybeingme

Stung- I think you can get over wanting a normal mom. I have. But, it takes time. You have to be good to yourself. Take time for you and mourn if you need to.

9111111

Stung, I’m glad that you are aware that trying to get the kind of support you crave from your mother might be as fun as trying to blow dry your hair under the shower or cuddling a porcupine.
Maybe it helps to think of what you are missing as “things I haven’t found in a relationship (with myself or others) yet” instead of “things my mother will never be able to give me”. NPD moms are what they are, but there are more things in life to cuddle than porcupines.

INgal

::::Raising hand for Stung::: I'll do it!!
I wish my son wanted a "normie". Actually, I was a normie until all this stuff started.
I DO think you're going to be all right and I think you're going to be a shining example to your daughters. You may not have had a good experience on the one end, but I'll bet going forward will be fantastic. Hang in there, Stung