Stewy84

Hey guys,

Stewy checking in here, hope everyone is doing ok, I just wanted to talk a little really, I've returned to work, been in over the last 3 days and after 4 months off it was really good to see everyone. There are a lot of good people in and around my workplace and even though the job content can be pretty intense sometimes, the people you get involved with can be worth it.

All that said, I thought I would be patting myself on the back for going back and getting through the first days, I have mixed emotions, the work hasn't changed, the content hasn't changed, I'm thinking at present that I would like to explore other jobs. The job is very consuming and it may be feeding into my depression and anxiety demons. It could only be a matter of time before I'm back off again with further issues.

I feel very strange within myself at the moment, it's good that I'm able to work but I feel drugged on my anti depressant and I'm not feeling mentally all together well. I'm not going mad, I just feel deaded, my memory isn't great and I've lost spark which makes me a bit sad. I'm working hard on acceptance of the fact anxiety is ever present for me right now, it's ok to feel that way and I should just observe it and let it flow.

I'm thinking that the absence of alcohol in my life has had a profound impact on me and my brain and mental health. I do trust in god and I still believe that stopping is %1000 the correct decision, I just didn't bank on having to face so many difficulties and challenges in my life, it's like having to learn to live as a different entity.

I'm just a bit fearful right now guys, I'm grateful for all the things in my life and so fortunate for what I have. I just feel my mental health isn't where it needs to be.

Thanks for taking the time to read (if you're reading this, you've probably read the rest of the post lol)

Marcher13

Hi Stewy, good to see you here. You know you sound pretty "together" in the way you are looking at your feelings although it's tough feeling them. You are going through a lot with the return to work, your anti-depressant medication and recovery. Look after yourself won't you? Fresh air and exercise really made a huge difference to me, might that help?

Dee74

You sound a lot more together to me Stewy. My advice is to think the job thing through - base the decision on a little more than 3 days - you don't need to make a decision today, or this week

you've been through a lot - I hope as time goes on you'll feel less deaded

D

Soberwolf

I agree with D and i also hear what your saying about feeding the depression

i wouldnt make a decision after 3 days see how it goes

Most importantly you sound a lot happier i know you said about the spark but give it a lil time your taking positive action and you rock Stewy

All in all congratulations bud

PurpleKnight

Great to hear from you Stewy!!

Sasha4

Hi you

I have recently been made redundant and I am at home all day on my own.
99.9% of my friends work.
My daughter is at school.

I don't find this a good mix for my mental health.
Too much time to think things over and be isolated.
Its only been a couple of weeks too.

I would spend more time thinking about your job as others have said. Don't make any quick decisions as the grass is not always greener.

I wish you the best xx

strategery

It's good to see you Stewy. It always takes a bit to get back into the swing of things, so give it some time and be kind to yourself before making any decisions.

Stewy84

Thanks everyone!!!!!

Soberwolf

Hi Stewy