Exploitative? Helpful?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 35
Exploitative? Helpful?
Hey guys,
I haven't been on here for a while - as a recap, like many of you, was very in love with an addict and went through a protracted, humiliating, excruciating relationship and breakup.
I updated everyone who helped me a while ago, but I'm still thriving. Graduated (yes!!), happy, had another very healthy relationship, doing work I love. (So it can happen for all of you - if anyone wants to message me privately so I can cheerlead, please do.)
I'm coming with an ethical question. I'm a journalist (my apologies), and thinking of writing for a fairly established publication on the pain not only an addict goes through, but rather their families, friends and loved ones...I remember when I was desperately googling for support, I found a lot of clinical advice on it, but very few human stories or general journalism on the subject. (So you can imagine what a relief soberrecovery was.)
My question is, is this an exploitative thing to want to do? I want to help others who were in my position, but I will have to be contacting sources and asking others who went through the experience (journalist ethics deny me the ability to use my own story unless it is a blog post or op-ed, and even then I'd be too close to it to write it objectively).
If I did get someone to agree, would I be putting them in a position that they may come to deeply regret later? Would it be helpful at all to anyone to read something like that, or is that just what I'm thinking because of how I deal with things? Did any of you wish our situation was something more people knew about? Opinions?
Love to all of you.
///
DISCLAIMER: I have not been commissioned yet and this is NOT a request for any of you to share your stories. I know that is not what this forum is for. I'm genuinely just asking about the ethics.
I haven't been on here for a while - as a recap, like many of you, was very in love with an addict and went through a protracted, humiliating, excruciating relationship and breakup.
I updated everyone who helped me a while ago, but I'm still thriving. Graduated (yes!!), happy, had another very healthy relationship, doing work I love. (So it can happen for all of you - if anyone wants to message me privately so I can cheerlead, please do.)
I'm coming with an ethical question. I'm a journalist (my apologies), and thinking of writing for a fairly established publication on the pain not only an addict goes through, but rather their families, friends and loved ones...I remember when I was desperately googling for support, I found a lot of clinical advice on it, but very few human stories or general journalism on the subject. (So you can imagine what a relief soberrecovery was.)
My question is, is this an exploitative thing to want to do? I want to help others who were in my position, but I will have to be contacting sources and asking others who went through the experience (journalist ethics deny me the ability to use my own story unless it is a blog post or op-ed, and even then I'd be too close to it to write it objectively).
If I did get someone to agree, would I be putting them in a position that they may come to deeply regret later? Would it be helpful at all to anyone to read something like that, or is that just what I'm thinking because of how I deal with things? Did any of you wish our situation was something more people knew about? Opinions?
Love to all of you.
///
DISCLAIMER: I have not been commissioned yet and this is NOT a request for any of you to share your stories. I know that is not what this forum is for. I'm genuinely just asking about the ethics.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Far above my co-dependent rock bottom.
Posts: 50
As long as you respect anonymity, and really conceal the identities well,
it will be very useful to share these stories with the general public.
At least in my country, there is too little information about these problems, which are so common.
it will be very useful to share these stories with the general public.
At least in my country, there is too little information about these problems, which are so common.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Far from being wrong, it would be a much needed focus on the F&F, rather than the addicts themselves.
I'd imagine may F&F would be grateful to have someone ask them about themselves. Good luck with your project.
I'd imagine may F&F would be grateful to have someone ask them about themselves. Good luck with your project.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 277
I am fairly new to this world of addiction but my son is 21. Never really been exposed to addiction ... I am desperate to read and have the need to hear other families stories. It helps understand what's happening and what may come our way. So yes please.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 19
Dear scheherazade (great screenname) - first of all don't apologize for being a journalist 
I have much respect for journalists who have put in a lot of efforts, sometimes even their lives on the line, to bring stories of truth to the public.
Whether or not something is exploitation depends on the motive, purpose, and method. It seems you have good intentions, and that you are aware to ask questions up front to make sure nobody gets hurt. That's a great sign.
Your project sounds like it will benefit many people. It helps me to know I am not alone in our suffering, that somewhere out there someone has been through what I have been through, and that by opening my heart to others they have the opportunity to open their hearts to me.
I'm curious whether your project will focus only on the pain or also the recovery/healing. Though sometimes just sharing the pain helps to ease it.
One tricky thing about a journalistic piece is a lot of times editors demand some real names for legitimacy, though in many cases revealing these names might cause harm to the subjects. Some people might be willing to share their names, and some might not. Perhaps you can work out a few scenarios with someone to figure out the technical part, give it a try, and adjust accordingly once you have a better sense of how people respond (and whether what you have is sufficient to bring together the piece the way you want it.)
Good luck with the 1001+ stories
I have much respect for journalists who have put in a lot of efforts, sometimes even their lives on the line, to bring stories of truth to the public. Whether or not something is exploitation depends on the motive, purpose, and method. It seems you have good intentions, and that you are aware to ask questions up front to make sure nobody gets hurt. That's a great sign.
Your project sounds like it will benefit many people. It helps me to know I am not alone in our suffering, that somewhere out there someone has been through what I have been through, and that by opening my heart to others they have the opportunity to open their hearts to me.
I'm curious whether your project will focus only on the pain or also the recovery/healing. Though sometimes just sharing the pain helps to ease it.
One tricky thing about a journalistic piece is a lot of times editors demand some real names for legitimacy, though in many cases revealing these names might cause harm to the subjects. Some people might be willing to share their names, and some might not. Perhaps you can work out a few scenarios with someone to figure out the technical part, give it a try, and adjust accordingly once you have a better sense of how people respond (and whether what you have is sufficient to bring together the piece the way you want it.)
Good luck with the 1001+ stories
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 37
Honestly, there is just not enough information for parents out there. When I first became aware of my son's addiction 5 years ago, I knew nothing. I think it would be a great idea. My only goal now (son still using) is too help anyone who has to live this
very, very, sad and rough journey.
very, very, sad and rough journey.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 205
There need to be more stories like all of ours out there. "My addict" was my ex-bf, and I had a really hard time finding stories of people who were in relationships with addicts (as opposed to family members).
I think most of us agree with pilotlady in that we want to help people who are going through what we have. There is such a stigma surrounding substance abuse. It's hard to find people to talk to, let alone those who can relate.
I think most of us agree with pilotlady in that we want to help people who are going through what we have. There is such a stigma surrounding substance abuse. It's hard to find people to talk to, let alone those who can relate.
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