#FridayFail
30 Days & Under Club
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: The Southeast, USA
Posts: 828
#FridayFail
So, I drank last night...
Before I drank I thought, "Hhmmm, I haven't had a drink since last Sunday--and this is the last Friday of my vacation--so I might as well enjoy it!"
I had 1.5 bottles of wine then I went downtown. I didn't drink and drive so I guess that's a perk? I didn't have any liquor so I guess that's a perk? (Liquor makes me cray!). I turned down free shots so I guess that's a perk?
... Oh, dang! I did have liquor. �� I had a margarita... I rarely drink margarita's but this place has the best margatita's I've ever had, so if I'm drinking I usually end up there. That said, I only had one and when I turned down the second one, the bartender looked at me like I was crazy because I usually have more than one. So, I guess that's a perk? (And, although I think it's strong, my friend said it wasn't so I guess that's a perk?)
While I was out, I had 3-4 glasses of wine... I can't remember because the night starts to get "fuzzy" so I decided to go home--instead of continue to drink--so I guess that's a perk?
Anyway, there were a lot of "perks" from last night but I still feel like I shouldn't have been drinking. This post is a bit scatterbrained but I wanted to post it to say--LAST NIGHT WAS POINTLESS! I went out, met a few new people, but am sitting in my apartment (alone) with less energy I usually have then when I wake up sober.
My current friend(s) say I'm overreacting and, when I read the stories on SR, I feel like they might be right? I don't drink as much as a lot of the stories posted on SR, but I still feel bad after I drink. Am I overreacting? Do I belong here? What are your thoughts?
Thank you for reading!
Before I drank I thought, "Hhmmm, I haven't had a drink since last Sunday--and this is the last Friday of my vacation--so I might as well enjoy it!"
I had 1.5 bottles of wine then I went downtown. I didn't drink and drive so I guess that's a perk? I didn't have any liquor so I guess that's a perk? (Liquor makes me cray!). I turned down free shots so I guess that's a perk?
... Oh, dang! I did have liquor. �� I had a margarita... I rarely drink margarita's but this place has the best margatita's I've ever had, so if I'm drinking I usually end up there. That said, I only had one and when I turned down the second one, the bartender looked at me like I was crazy because I usually have more than one. So, I guess that's a perk? (And, although I think it's strong, my friend said it wasn't so I guess that's a perk?)
While I was out, I had 3-4 glasses of wine... I can't remember because the night starts to get "fuzzy" so I decided to go home--instead of continue to drink--so I guess that's a perk?
Anyway, there were a lot of "perks" from last night but I still feel like I shouldn't have been drinking. This post is a bit scatterbrained but I wanted to post it to say--LAST NIGHT WAS POINTLESS! I went out, met a few new people, but am sitting in my apartment (alone) with less energy I usually have then when I wake up sober.
My current friend(s) say I'm overreacting and, when I read the stories on SR, I feel like they might be right? I don't drink as much as a lot of the stories posted on SR, but I still feel bad after I drink. Am I overreacting? Do I belong here? What are your thoughts?
Thank you for reading!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Only you know if you're overreacting. Without knowing more about your drinking history, it's hard to give you an opinion, but you joined SR for a reason.
As far as not drinking as much as other members, that would of been true for me a while back. Not anymore. When you read the stories on SR, just remember that might be you in the future. It's your call. John
As far as not drinking as much as other members, that would of been true for me a while back. Not anymore. When you read the stories on SR, just remember that might be you in the future. It's your call. John
Court jester
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: South Florida
Posts: 508
There are no perks for drinking, at least for me. Not drinking is the only absolute in sobriety. You either do or you do not. There is no "Gee, I'm making progress in my drinking". The only progress we make is in our spiritual growth. We seek progress in learning to change our perception of ourselves and the world around us.
But when it comes to drinking or not, perfection is our only option.
But when it comes to drinking or not, perfection is our only option.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 874
By my count, you had a total of about 2 1/2 bottles of wine and a margarita. If you are comparing yourself to others, you would have drank me under the table!
You'd been doing well with 5 good days. You can do that again. This might be just a good reminder of why you quit in the first place.
Next Saturday morning, you can wake up feeling good and run a few miles.
You'd been doing well with 5 good days. You can do that again. This might be just a good reminder of why you quit in the first place.
Next Saturday morning, you can wake up feeling good and run a few miles.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
Lots of "perking" going on there...
I agree - that's more alcohol than I ever drank in one night.
"It isn't how much you drink, it's what happens when you do."
I had many joyous nights drinking. Nights when not only did nothing bad happen, but great stuff happened. I'm a musician, so I love drinking beer and jamming! Pure happiness!!
I am terrified of what happens to me on the one drinking night in ten. I say hurtful things to someone I love. I have sex with someone I don't even find attractive or care about. At the end of my last relapse I had my first substantial blackout (I have a zillion fuzzy and incomplete memories of other nights, but this time I "came to" while at a music festival, sitting on a bench, with absolutely no idea what had happened to get me there).
I have a good friend who drank to blackout, took people hostage, then shot himself in the head when surrounded by police. He was a bright, mild mannered guy. He was absolutely drunkenly unaware of his actions.
And I just never know what kind of night I'm going to get!
And...with all that being said...I wouldn't have chosen sobriety if I didn't have medical issues which required sobriety during treatment.
I'm at eight months now & I've turned the corner from wishing I could still drink to really appreciating my sobriety. In the beginning, you are sort of desperate, and proud of accumulating days, but not convinced that you won't drink, resentful, feeling like you are missing something. In this last month, I am valuing the sobriety part, feeling truly happy with my life.
Something actually shifts inside brain & body with sobriety. Your thinking really does change and become clearer. There is a prize at the bottom of the box.
So, only you can define your need for recovery. But it is kind of an unbalanced choice because you have to make it before the switch gets pulled, you have to decide to go for it without knowing what you're choosing between. The person you will be if you are sober is actually a sort of different person, and it is that person who more easily makes the choice for sobriety.
I agree - that's more alcohol than I ever drank in one night.
"It isn't how much you drink, it's what happens when you do."
I had many joyous nights drinking. Nights when not only did nothing bad happen, but great stuff happened. I'm a musician, so I love drinking beer and jamming! Pure happiness!!
I am terrified of what happens to me on the one drinking night in ten. I say hurtful things to someone I love. I have sex with someone I don't even find attractive or care about. At the end of my last relapse I had my first substantial blackout (I have a zillion fuzzy and incomplete memories of other nights, but this time I "came to" while at a music festival, sitting on a bench, with absolutely no idea what had happened to get me there).
I have a good friend who drank to blackout, took people hostage, then shot himself in the head when surrounded by police. He was a bright, mild mannered guy. He was absolutely drunkenly unaware of his actions.
And I just never know what kind of night I'm going to get!
And...with all that being said...I wouldn't have chosen sobriety if I didn't have medical issues which required sobriety during treatment.
I'm at eight months now & I've turned the corner from wishing I could still drink to really appreciating my sobriety. In the beginning, you are sort of desperate, and proud of accumulating days, but not convinced that you won't drink, resentful, feeling like you are missing something. In this last month, I am valuing the sobriety part, feeling truly happy with my life.
Something actually shifts inside brain & body with sobriety. Your thinking really does change and become clearer. There is a prize at the bottom of the box.
So, only you can define your need for recovery. But it is kind of an unbalanced choice because you have to make it before the switch gets pulled, you have to decide to go for it without knowing what you're choosing between. The person you will be if you are sober is actually a sort of different person, and it is that person who more easily makes the choice for sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
That volume of alcohol in my book would have been a lot, 1.5 bottles of wine and THEN you went out?!!
It's not all about volume though, you came to SR for a reason, something about alcohol wasn't working in your life anymore and in your previous posts you had set the goal of Sobriety, the reason for doing that will give your answer I think!!
It's not all about volume though, you came to SR for a reason, something about alcohol wasn't working in your life anymore and in your previous posts you had set the goal of Sobriety, the reason for doing that will give your answer I think!!
30 Days & Under Club
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: The Southeast, USA
Posts: 828
Responses
@Strategy: Yeah, me and "safe drinking" never happen. Even my first time drinking (senior year of hs) was a ridiculous amount...
@2muchpain: I don't think I'm overreacting... I think I drink entirely too much when I drink.
Ref comparing my drinking to other users: I know we're all in different phases of drinking--we've either "been there" or will "end up there" so no judgements over here. I was comparing myself to other users because my friends know I drink a lot, but it's usually only once a week (if I'm drinking an insane amount) so they say that's normal. ........... After typing that, that sounds crazy! I guess birds of a feather flock together so they're the wrong people to help me gauge if I'm drinking too much.
@Bmac: Very true, there's no progress in drinking.
@FLCamper: Yeah, I'd be lying if I said no one has ever said "You'd drink me under the table". I'm not sure how I'm able to drink so much when I drink!? It's scary.
@Heartcore: Yeah, who knows what's up with all of the "perks" in my OP... I guess I was trying to justify being able to go out/drink after a sober week. Dumb, I know. That said, I wish it didn't take 6+ months to appreciate sobriety but I guess our brains need to adjust.
@Purpleknight: Yeah, alcohol isn't working for me. Everytime I drink I wake up thinking, "Ugh! You just wasted a night of your life." ... But when I don't drink (for a week or so) I get the urge to go out/drink. It's like I can't "stay in and be sober" for a long period of time... I start itching for a bit of excitement. Perhaps I need to find new, healthy, things I consider fun and exciting.
@Sugarbear: The thought of living without alcohol seems like it'd be a boring life. I know it's not true because people who are sober say they'd never go back to drinking and a sober life beats a drinking life. And, I'd like to be able to reference my previous sober years but I had a few non-drinking friends--and I was in a relationship--during those days so I wasn't lonely. Now, I'm single and in a new city; and I never meet non-drinkers who have the same hobbies as I do.
@2muchpain: I don't think I'm overreacting... I think I drink entirely too much when I drink.
Ref comparing my drinking to other users: I know we're all in different phases of drinking--we've either "been there" or will "end up there" so no judgements over here. I was comparing myself to other users because my friends know I drink a lot, but it's usually only once a week (if I'm drinking an insane amount) so they say that's normal. ........... After typing that, that sounds crazy! I guess birds of a feather flock together so they're the wrong people to help me gauge if I'm drinking too much.
@Bmac: Very true, there's no progress in drinking.
@FLCamper: Yeah, I'd be lying if I said no one has ever said "You'd drink me under the table". I'm not sure how I'm able to drink so much when I drink!? It's scary.
@Heartcore: Yeah, who knows what's up with all of the "perks" in my OP... I guess I was trying to justify being able to go out/drink after a sober week. Dumb, I know. That said, I wish it didn't take 6+ months to appreciate sobriety but I guess our brains need to adjust.
@Purpleknight: Yeah, alcohol isn't working for me. Everytime I drink I wake up thinking, "Ugh! You just wasted a night of your life." ... But when I don't drink (for a week or so) I get the urge to go out/drink. It's like I can't "stay in and be sober" for a long period of time... I start itching for a bit of excitement. Perhaps I need to find new, healthy, things I consider fun and exciting.
@Sugarbear: The thought of living without alcohol seems like it'd be a boring life. I know it's not true because people who are sober say they'd never go back to drinking and a sober life beats a drinking life. And, I'd like to be able to reference my previous sober years but I had a few non-drinking friends--and I was in a relationship--during those days so I wasn't lonely. Now, I'm single and in a new city; and I never meet non-drinkers who have the same hobbies as I do.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by SoberRunner 
I never meet non-drinkers who have the same hobbies as I do.
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: The Southeast, USA
Posts: 828
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
I thought the exact same thing...until I realized that it was because my hobby was drinking.
I need to remember that!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Originally Posted by SoberRunner
@Purpleknight: Yeah, alcohol isn't working for me. Everytime I drink I wake up thinking, "Ugh! You just wasted a night of your life." ... But when I don't drink (for a week or so) I get the urge to go out/drink. It's like I can't "stay in and be sober" for a long period of time... I start itching for a bit of excitement. Perhaps I need to find new, healthy, things I consider fun and exciting.
Do people who don't drink go out of their minds with boredom and have dull lives? no they don't, they do things just not with alcohol, activities, hobbies, they meet people, make new friends, go for coffee, walks etc etc!!
Sobriety is more than not drinking, every one of us would go insane if we just sat in and didn't drink, instead we need to carve out a new Sober lifestyle, that's the real challenge!!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
You came here for a reason
Comparing your drinking to others is pretty futile - I know guys who drank less than me who died from this, and guys who drank more than me who still do, and who will never self-identify as alcoholic.
It's worth commenting than none of them thought I had a problem either. I was drinking all day everyday.
I think you belong here - honestly...only someone with my problem could pull a list of perks out of a night like that Sober.
D
Comparing your drinking to others is pretty futile - I know guys who drank less than me who died from this, and guys who drank more than me who still do, and who will never self-identify as alcoholic.
It's worth commenting than none of them thought I had a problem either. I was drinking all day everyday.
I think you belong here - honestly...only someone with my problem could pull a list of perks out of a night like that Sober.
D
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