Pipedreamer

If someone had told me the physical withdrawal was the easy part I never would have believed them. This constant inner voice screaming at me, making excuses, seemingly valid points, amplifying all of the negative interaction I have with people to the point a simple sideways glance has me feeling like I am worthless and should just walk out on my job because I'm in over my head anyway. I know it doesn't help I just started a new job while quitting but I can't change that. I have to provide. This emotional pain is literally worse than anything I have ever felt. It is as if napalm is being poured directly only on my soul and the only thing that can stop the burning is alcohol.
Day 42. Almost halfway done. 5 hours left of work.

ZaBoozer

Hang in there. You are definitely not alone. Nobody learns the ropes of a new job overnight. As for the AV, bury the b@stard whole learning the ropes of your new job.

You will feel worse I reckon if you throw your 42 days away. Post regularly as you get the urge. There are some good people out there that will give you better advice than I ever can.

PurpleKnight

Great job on Day 42!! Keep pushing through!!

EJP

You're doing great. 42 days is huge.
Fwiw, I've found that between 30 and 60 days is the most emotional for me.

Keep posting about your progress. Its inspiring to many of us.

Bmac

Sobriety is a simple endeavor. However, it is not an easy one. For most of us, our sobriety is forged by fire. It is making through the difficult days that create deeper levels of strength and hope.

When, and I emphasize WHEN you get through this, the next time you find yourself in a similar state of mind, you can look back and say, "Yeah, I recognize this feeling. I kicked it's a$$ last time and made it through"

Dee74

Feeling pain, and other emotions, is a challenge when you've numbed then out for so long - but we do get better Pipedeam I promise.

We can find other ways to deal with the things that pain us.

there's some good reading here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

Pipedreamer

Thank you all for the support. At least the work portion of my day is over. Can't wait to get home and check out that link.

NewJosh

I have 5 days sober. Your 42 is a HUGE inspiration to me!

itstiime

Damn 42 days Is crazy good. Be proud of that man. That really scares me you still feel like that. I only got eight days and that's been hard. I hope it still isn't that hard that far down the road. Keep looking forward and stay strong

Kris47

Pipedreamer,

Way to go on 42 Days and counting!!

If you can do this while starting a new job, you can do anything you put your mind to.

Remember that!

Pipedreamer

Sorry I did not mean to scare anyone who is earlier in recovery. I hope I didn't discourage anyone, just needed to let loose some feelings.

Pipedreamer

So, day 43, the AV is quiet today but work has kept me quite busy.
I feel great, much better than yesterday. I can't wait for the day that this energy and positive attitude is the norm not the exception. I hope this day continues in this fashion!