Para

It's the evening of day 1. I can't sleep and I'm so anxious and scared. I keep replaying my last drunk episode. And it gives me intense anxiety. It's like I have a feeling of impending doom.

ScottFromWI

The first few days can be rough sleep wise... Just remember that withdrawals are temporary..and do seek help if things get too bad.

Verte

Hi Para, not to minimize how you are feeling at all, but I found distraction by playing the interactive word games found at the bottom of the SR main page to be helpful on nights such as those. The SR cafe central is interesting to read as well.

Mandala coloring maybe?

Para

Thanks for the suggestions. This anxiety is unbearable. Something just came to me as I was writing this. "pray". Maybe that's what I need to do.

puffy

Para, you've been struggling for awhile. Do what ever it takes to keep the sober days going. The more you get under your belt, the more the anxiety will go away. Anxiety relates to worrying about the unknown. But what you should know is that it WILL be okay with more and more sober time. Remember anxiety is temporary (like Scott said) and it is your brain trying to deal with getting normal. Believe me, normal is awesome. Try immersing yourself in some mindless TV. Distract yourself from overthinking things. If it is really bad, it is best to get medical help especially if you are on only day 1.

Para

I was sober prior to my last drink for almost 5 days. But I wasn't so anxious then. I actually felt good.

Dee74

Night one was always a no sleeper for me.

Use the memory of this the next time the urge to drink comes calling, Para.

I reckon it can't hurt to try some of these things tho:
Relaxation Techniques | University of Maryland Medical Center

D

Nonsensical

Some people claim they didn't experience this in early sobriety, but I can't imagine it. I would have anxiety like a caged wildcat. Pacing...pacing...pacing...

Persistent alcohol consumption causes that anxiety. Your mind will heal. Give it time.

chickippo

seconding the recommendation for a mandala colouring book! i love it - and it really switches my head off...

just remember, this too shall pass. be well.

DrunkenDonuts

G'day Para. In my weekly anxiety group we spoke about this. Can I ask you to think about the absolute worst that can happen as a result of your last drunk episode?

Will you die? Will someone else die? Think about the worst thing that will happen. It's likely not going to be something you can't get past.

You know you mucked up and you're trying to do something about it. It's not going to help by continuing to beat yourself up over it.

Breathe in and then release that breath slowly. And again. Calm down.

Make a plan on what you're going to do tomorrow when you wake up. Apologise to someone or go to the doctor or whatever. Write it down, and then get some sleep.

If you can't sleep, post on here or go into the chat room and have a live chat.

All the best mate. I'm going for a walk. That might help you as well.

Para

I guess i'm letting the anxiety get the better of me. DrunkenDonut - what worried me is that i've made so many mistakes over and over again, and i guess I got scared that it's too late, like the damage was irreparable. Looking back in hindsight, I see that's not true.
I mean, i've gone to AA meetings where i've heard people that have gone thru hell, and still got to be and stayed sober, and they are wonderful people.
I guess last night I felt like the world's worst alcoholic. I'm working on getting out of that all or nothing thinking.

Soberwolf

Its never too late

Mountainmanbob

It can remind us of why we need to stay sober.
Your sleep will improve with time.
Mountainmanbob

FLGuy34

It will get easier. I went through a very hard period when I stopped drinking wine, and my heart pounded in my chest, I felt anxious, I couldn't sleep, my hands trembled, and a host of other symptoms.
The bad news is: they sucks.
The good news is: they will get better. It will feel like a lot longer than it is, but in a few days you will feel better. This I promise you, from experience.

It sounds weird, but you know helped me? Watching episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation on Netflix. Maybe you're not a sci-fi fan, but having something to watch during those sleepless nights might help you get through them.

Para

Thanks for the support. I'm not looking forward to tonight. The nights are the hardest.
I'm full of so much guilt, and I think I feel like I should be feeling guilty and anxious. I'm being hard on myself.
Lol. I don't know if i'm going to watch Star trek, but i'm sure i'll find something on netflix!

Wastinglife

I am all too familiar with what you are going through Para. I wouldn't sleep for 3 or 4 days after a binge. crippling anxiety and self-Loathing drove me nuts. I never was suicidal but I just didn't want to be alive and able to think.

Just remember that it is normal to be abnormally anxious after drinking. I would get so frustrated because I couldn't turn off my mind for even a 20 min nap. It does pass. Usually 3 days for me. Until you feel better, distract yourself. I would binge-watch TV shows all night. I actually watched 5 seasons worth of Breaking Bad during one particularly bad detox period.

Hang in there as each passing hour you are closer to being back to normal.

sprinkcad

Wow Wastinglife, I thought I was the only one who binge watched Netflix all night during previous detox. Only taking breaks to shower to make the sweats and chills go away.

Just find what works for you.

CelticZebra

Loving the image of wasted life via tv box sets but better wasting time doing something absorbing than reliving the pain so constantly.
The mind needs to be calmed, it needs to recover, soothe the mind...
Maybe meditate?
Or find that unmissable box set that will divert your attention.
I find reading really helps, music, and staying in the NOW.
Reflection on the past is best left to the future, unless, as previously suggested, it is as a deterrent to drinking.
Don't beat yourself up for not drinking, distraction is key to beating anxiety.
You can do it x

Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself

Para

I'm 3/4 through day 2. Slightly less anxious. I'm hanging in there!

Verte

Nice going, Para!

How about for the remainder of the evening you try the following meaningful activities:

1. Take a water glass, fill, drink, repeat throughout the evening.

2. Do the shuffle, including arm action, while moving to and from the sink and various areas of your home. Add a periodic spin.

3. Sing "The Girl from Ipanema" while doing the above. Hum if you do not know some words.

Hang in there! You will get through it. You are doing great.