Survival of the Fittest
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: west coast
Posts: 1,068
Survival of the Fittest
I am in the very early stages of considering that MY life might be of just as much value as the alcoholic's - I have such anxiety about what they will or won't do, and obviously the stress has a negative impact on my health.
I realize that I seem to have put them in a superior position to my own well-being - not sure of the details . . . as I said, this just occurred to me.
I am super tired of being anxious and I do not wish to live my life from a constant state of anxiety. My body just seems to freak out and I am very hypersensitive to bad news and triggers . . .
Honestly, this is the WORST, scariest thing that has ever happened to me - and when I say "happened to me," I mean fearing what will happen to someone I love very much. It's just unbearable.
I realize that I seem to have put them in a superior position to my own well-being - not sure of the details . . . as I said, this just occurred to me.
I am super tired of being anxious and I do not wish to live my life from a constant state of anxiety. My body just seems to freak out and I am very hypersensitive to bad news and triggers . . .
Honestly, this is the WORST, scariest thing that has ever happened to me - and when I say "happened to me," I mean fearing what will happen to someone I love very much. It's just unbearable.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Seek - I'm glad that you are also thinking about you. It took me a couple of decades, or more, to realize that the constant worrying and stress could make me sick.
Good codie that I was, I thought "hmmm, what good will I be to my loved one if I'M sick"...sigh.
Is there anything you can do that you really enjoy but haven't been doing? Doesn't have to be major, sometimes the simplest things bring a lot of joy. I like to drive, crank the radio up, sing at the top of my lungs, and notice scenery I tend to ignore.
Hang in there, sweetie. Keep reading and posting. I know it helped me, a lot, to realize I wasn't alone and learn how others worked through it.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Good codie that I was, I thought "hmmm, what good will I be to my loved one if I'M sick"...sigh.
Is there anything you can do that you really enjoy but haven't been doing? Doesn't have to be major, sometimes the simplest things bring a lot of joy. I like to drive, crank the radio up, sing at the top of my lungs, and notice scenery I tend to ignore.
Hang in there, sweetie. Keep reading and posting. I know it helped me, a lot, to realize I wasn't alone and learn how others worked through it.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
seek 
I'm sorry you are feeling so stressed right now. It seems to me that women, in general, are more aware of the danger in which others put themselves--even when those others are oblivious or in denial about it.
You do matter, and your health and happiness are just as important as your grandson's. I know you love him dearly.
Sometimes, for me, I find that even though I try to do things for myself to alleviate the stress I feel, those things occasionally either fall by the wayside or just don't work quite as well for me.
I think it's good that you recognize when you are feeling even more stress. Perhaps mixing up your current meditation or other practices during these times will help. You can always post here, too, to help 'get it out' so to speak.
Hang in there, seek!
I'm sorry you are feeling so stressed right now. It seems to me that women, in general, are more aware of the danger in which others put themselves--even when those others are oblivious or in denial about it.
You do matter, and your health and happiness are just as important as your grandson's. I know you love him dearly.
Sometimes, for me, I find that even though I try to do things for myself to alleviate the stress I feel, those things occasionally either fall by the wayside or just don't work quite as well for me.
I think it's good that you recognize when you are feeling even more stress. Perhaps mixing up your current meditation or other practices during these times will help. You can always post here, too, to help 'get it out' so to speak.
Hang in there, seek!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Seek, If I may suggest a book, I would recommend "Worry' by Edward M. Hallowell, M.D.
During the most stressful and worried time of my life, I was recommended this book by some good soul, and got it cheaply off amazon. It was worth more than 10 therapy sessions with a great doctor, in my opinion.
What I found most helpful about it was that it explained the physical side effects of worrying. Gave a detailed explanation of how worrying changes the brain and its functioning. It made perfect sense, and helped me to get my worrying under control.
It didn't stop me from worrying, but it helped me to stop the horrible spiraling into severe anxiety. One of those books that gives one the aha moment, and some good tools to make things much better.
easy to read. some of it was not so interesting, as the stories of patients and how they learned not to over worry, but well worth reading.
took me about two days maybe less, to read the book.
I was just frozen in fear, about my preemie grandson, who is fine now
, that I could not even sleep, my stomach suffered from it, and could barely function. There was about a year before things got better.. he had reflux, cried all the time and never slept, unless it was on one of our chests. I would often go over after work, to just hold him while mom and dad got some sleep. When I got home at night, I fell apart, and worried every moment of the day. I had been through a few years of stress already, due to my A son, and it was just too much.
this book changed things for me. It is good to learn how our bodies,and brains work.
take care,
chicory
During the most stressful and worried time of my life, I was recommended this book by some good soul, and got it cheaply off amazon. It was worth more than 10 therapy sessions with a great doctor, in my opinion.
What I found most helpful about it was that it explained the physical side effects of worrying. Gave a detailed explanation of how worrying changes the brain and its functioning. It made perfect sense, and helped me to get my worrying under control.
It didn't stop me from worrying, but it helped me to stop the horrible spiraling into severe anxiety. One of those books that gives one the aha moment, and some good tools to make things much better.
easy to read. some of it was not so interesting, as the stories of patients and how they learned not to over worry, but well worth reading.
took me about two days maybe less, to read the book.
I was just frozen in fear, about my preemie grandson, who is fine now
, that I could not even sleep, my stomach suffered from it, and could barely function. There was about a year before things got better.. he had reflux, cried all the time and never slept, unless it was on one of our chests. I would often go over after work, to just hold him while mom and dad got some sleep. When I got home at night, I fell apart, and worried every moment of the day. I had been through a few years of stress already, due to my A son, and it was just too much.this book changed things for me. It is good to learn how our bodies,and brains work.
take care,
chicory
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Join Date: Sep 2011
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I realize that I seem to have put them in a superior position to my own well-being
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