Para

I was onto sober day 5 and I drank again.
I had a plan but I stopped working it, and I was feeling so good.
I'm a mess. Will I ever be able to stay sober?

ScottFromWI

Welcome back Para. You will definitely be able to stay sober if you want to. I think you answered your own question right in your post really, you can't expect the rewards of sobriety if you won't do the necesary work.

What exactly was your plan? Do you think you might need to change it or did you simply stop doing it? Not sure if your plan involved meetings or other local intervention like rehab or counseling, but you might want to consider that if you haven't already.

Para

My plan was to go to AA meetings daily. Stay sober just for today.
The thing with me is I have social anxiety. When i'm around people at work or meeting new people, I feel the urge to drink to take the edge off. Sometimes before social situations, I'll force myself to drink because i know i'll be more talkative. I know I just can't have that first drink. What else should I add to my plan?

ScottFromWI

Honestly, if you can't even make it to an AA meeting without taking a drink beforehand, you might want to consider inpatient or outpatient rehab...sometimes that extra supervision and guidance for an initial period of time is necessary to get some sober time under our belts.

Or if you are definitely planning on doing aa, you should try and find a sponsor and use the numbers that you've recieved to call someone prior to taking that pre-meeting drink. You'd be surprised how helpful and calming it can be to have someone "talk you down" via the phone.

Anna

And, do remember you can always come here and post and read. There's always something inspirational to read here if you're feeling tempted. I have social anxiety also, always have. I don't use AA, but I had to accept that I'm simply not as social as many people and that's okay.

desertsweetpea

Hi Para. I also suffer from severe social anxiety. When I attended my first AA meeting I was terrified but what I quickly learned is many of the people that you meet in those rooms are dealing with the same problem. It wasn't easy to stick with it but for me I truly believe that having a support system has made the difference. Remember that when you stop drinking/using you are going to experience symptoms such as anxiety just from the elimination of that substance. This will pass but you have to give it time. If you feel like you are too anxious to attend a meeting use this forum to reach out and talk about what you are feeling. Connection is key. Good luck to you!

least

I drank again so many times until I finally wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. Accepting that I could not drink was the key to my staying sober.

thomas11

Hi para, why did you drink?

Para

So I got an angry call from my sister. She said I do nothing to change.
Here I am saying poor me, I drank again.
I need to get up and start making changes and sticking to them. Not just for a day or two. I need to stick to it.
How do I expect to stay sober if i'm not taking care of myself every day? I'm seeing the light.
I'm going to get back up...again. And do the right thing.
I have always sobered up, staying consistently sober has been a battle. I can beat this. I will beat this.

Para

Thomas. I drank at work because I felt like i'd get the job done better. Stupid alcoholic thinking. I drink because i feel i'll be less shy and more sociable.

thomas11

you drank at work? what kind of work do you do?

Para

I am an accountant. Not good at all. I know.

GhostFace

I also suffer from social anxiety which causes me to drink to drink so I could losen up and be more talkative. That has actually changed since now I drink to get drunk and speech becomes slurred.

I'm just going to accept me for who I am and not rely on a substance to make me feel better.

Good quote, "wise men listen and learn while fools talk."

Tang

Para - I've drank at work, but that's because they pass out booze at sales meetings. And no I'm not a sales person but an introverted software engineer who gets anxious in big social situations. Either way alcohol makes it worse for us. Though it may temporarily relax us we end up more anxious.

Fly N Buy

AA has the potential capacity to change your life if you engage in it. I know it's tough at first, but you'll quickly realize you're in a room of people who completely understand our problem. Likely this group would never have come together except for one common problem. We can't drink like normal people. There is a solution.......

Scott's suggestion of a sponsor is a good one. That person can help guide you through those early meeting anxieties.

Keep coming back!

countrygirl2014

Para, go into my profile and read my relapse post from September. Two weeks and I blew it. Your original post sounds eerily similar to mine and my thoughts at the time. It seemed impossible to sober up. Now I have 6 months. I took every suggestion very seriously after that. I shut my mouth and listened, I did everything I was told to do. You CAN do this. Just one day at a time. Keep on trying, there is some great advice in this thread...do take these suggestions. Go to meetings, I supposedly had social anxiety, I've even been on some heavy duty meds to help. I'm not on the meds anymore, it was all the drinking. I just kept going even though I hated it at first.

Jennifer

FLCamper

For the time being, can you avoid social situations that cause anxiety that woul tempt you to drink?
5 days is a pretty good start.

MyTime86

You have to fully commit. You will have to make life changes, but I can't stress to you enough that it's sooo worth it. I promise if you fight through the first few months everything gets better

Nowsthetime

We always stink when we drink so people usually smell us...

Sometimes I would drink at lunch if I didn't have anything important in the pm. But earlier in my life I used to drink at lunch sometimes and then hit bars with friends and coworkers. I would have to try to hide it from my husband, but he always smelled it. ALWAYS.

You said you had a plan and stopped working it. Modify your plan and keep going. You don't have to drink ever again. Are you doing AVRT, AA...? when I decided to get sober I started researching a lot about the subject. that really helped my Rational Voice learn how to whip my AV.

Yes. You can do this.

Berrybean

Ahh yes - the altered perception of reality that alcohol affords us. Transforming us from 'Ducks to Eagles' and making us 'Prettier, wittier and tittier'.

But then the price we pay for that temporary relief from our own reality is that our reality becomes increasingly worse as we start hating on ourselves for drinking.



Onwards and upwards. What can you change in your Sobriety Plan so it works next time? (If nothing changes, nothing changes).

Good luck xx

Some lighthearted listening for you x
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L0hemu0vqU