Pipedreamer

Nights like tonight were what I was afraid of going into sobriety. I spent my first 6 weeks away on business, it was easier that way, I could 'suffer in silence'. This is my first full week back and this is my lowest point. I'm trying to enjoy an evening with my wife the way we used too, watching our shows, and enjoying one another's company. instead I am crabby, and short.I can't stop thinking about a drink, the old routine.I feel bad. She should have the loving husband she deserves. How have you coped with this in your marriags?

itstiime

Pipe I'm in the same boat. I push the ones I love the must away knowing they will always be there. The fact of the matter a person can only take so much of that. Make your wife a nice meal and light a candle. Recindle that loving feeling. I guess that sounds qurnee lol. But I have to do something as well. Good luck brother

Pipedreamer

Thanks time. I will work on making gestures to show I care. Its hard with the constant internal struggle, but I am not the only one struggling.

Anna

I think that a lot of changes have to happen in early recovery. Good for you for getting through 6 weeks. That's great. Now, you're back home and it's time to start looking for ways to manage getting through the days and thriving. Maybe you can do something different in your evening routine that would help you to feel more comfortable.

IOAA2

Hi. In my case I needed to immerse myself in meetings surrounded by people who understand and support each other much like here. Back then Al Gore hadn’t invented the internet yet.
I need to hear the feelings and watch the expressions to believe what they believed and live sober. Every little positive bit helps the overall situation.

BE WELL

MIRecovery

There is a huge difference between abstinence and recovery. AA gave me a blueprint for living that was happy joyous and free all without alcohol

Marcher13

I did as Anna suggests and changed my evening routine. Is there something you could actually do while enjoying an evening at home? For me it was knitting. For you it could be sketching, whittling, playing music (yourself or recorded), sitting and talking with your wife, painting .... The idea is to change the routine and introduce a fresh element.

In my avatar I have a picture of a "recovery blanket" I knitted for charity, I've done five more since. Think about your interests.

Nonsensical

Give it a little time, too. While you may not be consciously aware of it, your brain is still adjusting to the missing happy sauce injections. Mood swings and irritability are common for several months after laying the bottle down.

Congrats on 6 weeks. Keep it going!

Kiya

Congratulations on 6 week. I'd like to follow the group suggesting changing things up. Go for a walk, do something together with your wife.

Sitting down in the evening drinking while we watched tv was just what I did in the evening. I associated sitting down and watching tv with my wife as alcohol time for me. It took probably 5 or 6 months before I really felt ok just sitting and not having a drink on my hand. It's not like that with everyone, we all progress and do things different. That's just how that particular activity was with me. I'm sure my wife though I was half crazy in January when I determined I was going out to the garage to learn to make dovetail joints and it was about 10 degrees.

Pasttime

Right there with you! I think going back to the same routine is a big part of the problem. Drinking is not just an addiction, it is a habit. When you are home doing the same thing, it is uncomfortable doing the same thing without the drink in hand. I personally have my replacement drink (diet 7 up). But like Marcher suggests, I think a full change-up is in order. Does your wife drink alcohol? That is my added problem, I quit, but hubby still drinks - a lot. As sad as it is, I think I'm just going to have to do my own thing in the evenings, and maybe you will too. I feel bad because I know, at least for me, that my alcoholism pre-dates the relationship, and now I am the one changing. It isn't my husbands fault, but it is something he, like your wife and family, will have to deal with. Not sure what the outcome will be in my case, but in yours I hope you can find a different routine in the evening that can include your wife. That seems to be the consensus.

pudsyh

Im only 11 days in & still finding things cropping up which would remind me of my drinking, or when I would drink. I have a very supportive husband who is doing all he can to help me but at the end of the day its down to me to change the things that could have me tripping up again. We go out for walks when the weather is good. Decide which new TV series we are going to get through & watch it together. We spend less time on our gadgets at opposite ends of the sofa & more time talking.
I could do without the sugar cravings tho but its better than the other :-)
xx