DoubleDragons

So, a couple of weeks ago my mother broke her heel after a fall during a night of partying. Lately, she does not appear to be drinking at all. In fact, she told me that she and my dad are not going to drink alcohol, until her foot heals. I am so glad to see that her DENIAL is still in good working order ~ NOT!

Anyway, despite the fact that I mentioned to her nurses that my mother is an alcoholic, she has been prescribed percocets. In fact, she just got a refill for 60 more. She says she just takes one at night, but I don't know.

My question is that if an alcoholic is taking pain pills regularly, they are not sober, right?!? I am sure my AM is using this situation as justification that she can quit drinking and stay off of alcohol, therefore she is not an alcoholic.

Thoughts?? Experiences??

happybeingme

Whether or not a person is sober depends on one's own definition. There is no carved in stone definition. Having said that I believe if your mother was honest with her doctor and he chose to prescribe the percs and she is only taking them as prescribed than yes she is sober for now. My definition of sober here only means not drinking.

Honestly though you do know that it's none of your business unless she is legally under your care

DoubleDragons

I know. I need to step away from this. I can just feel my hopes getting up that maybe 1) she really isn't an alcoholic or 2) she really hit her bottom, but deep in my heart I know that this just isn't true. Like I have said before, the thing I hate most about alcoholism is that it is inconsistent and unpredictable at times, which just f8cks with the mind.

SparkleKitty

If she is doing what you think she is doing, nothing you can learn here will convince her differently. Whether she is or isn't sober, whether she is or isn't an alcoholic...what will those answers change for you?

LeeJane

Seems your mum is playing mind games with herself as alkies do. I would step back from her denial and focus on your own well being. My A dad pulled all these sort of games when he was ill. It was only himself he was fooling.

I am a RA, I take medications prescribed by my doctor and am sober.

happybeingme

I know it's hard. But whether she is an alcoholic or an abuser it has a negative impact on your relationship. That's all that matters. The best thing you can do is mind your own business and don't question or nag. She is an adult. She will do what she wants. Just make sure you have good boundaries that you are comfortable with having.

You know, ask her how she is doing but don't ask how many pills she has or how many she takes. If you want more involvement encourage her to eat well. Make sure your parents have groceries, help with housework. You are allowed to be loving and helpful.

LexieCat

It really depends on why she's taking them. The thing is, she hasn't committed to sobriety, so it's pretty much irrelevant, except that she doesn't need another addiction if she starts abusing them, and it's dangerous of course to mix them with alcohol.

I have no issue with pain meds--never have. I don't like the way they make me feel and I get off of them an onto non-prescription just as soon as possible. I wouldn't consider my own (appropriate) use of pain meds as making me not-sober.

Jeni26

Hi DoubleDragons.

I would gently suggest that you not tie yourself in knots trying to figure all this out. Your Mum hasn't committed to sobriety, she tells you that she has stopped until her foot is better, but you don't really know if that is true do you?

You have no idea if she is taking the meds as prescribed either.

As an active alcoholic, i abused pain meds. As a sober RA I am very wary of taking anything stronger than OTC remedies. When I was prescribed diazepam for a shoulder problem, I was onto my sponsor straight away asking advice.

I would try to concentrate on yourself rather than spend time trying to work all this out. It sounds like she is just taking a break from drinking so at least the alcohol won't combine with the pain killers and cause more problems.

Take care of you x

Refiner

I don't know... most of the A's in my life who say they've stopped drinking I find out they're getting high on pills instead. Trading one addiction or another.

redatlanta

My husband has been on pain med care for many years due to some chronic health issues. He made the decision to get off the meds last year for various reasons.

We have seen several doctors though this process to make sure this was done 1)safely and 2) that in their opinion he could have a quality of life without them.

We met with a Doctor called a physiatrist who seems to be an addiction specialist as well as a pain med specialist. This subject came up and I will tell you what he said. My husband is considered sober because he is prescribed the meds, and has met medical requirements to be prescribed them. I referred to him as addicted which I was corrected, they refer in medical terminology a pain med patient is "dependent" not "addicted". A person who is dependent is taking the medications to maintain a quality of life whereas a person who is addicted is abusing the medications to get high. But my dependent husband is certainly physically addicted after 10 years hence we have been reducing the pain meds monthly to lessen withdrawal.

Its certainly crossed my mind in the past 5 years that he switched from one addiction to another. Maybe he got sober off booze thanks to opioids. He says no. I hope your mom does not develop a dependency on them. They take care of one problem and they cause so many other physical problems. Its not been fun getting off them though things have calmed down.

I wouldn't worry about it. If the docs are going to prescribe there is nothing you can do. IMO doctors are getting much, much stricter about prescription pain killers so maybe this will be it for her.

freetosmile

Pain meds effect people differently. One does not ALWAYS get messed up on a small dose of percocet. Especially alcoholics seem to tolerate the pills better and it doesn't mess them up. Now it would really concern me if she was mixing the pills with the booze. THAT can be real dangerous.

As a nurse and a recovering pill popper--- I wouldn't take too much away from this.

NYCDoglvr

I would worry much more if she decides to drink WITH the pain meds. When you mix the two you don't need much of either to accidentally overdose. The celebrity deaths during the past five years or so have been the result of pills and alcohol.

PinkCloudsCharley

When my husband needed pain meds, the pharmacist explained that addiction to alcohol and addiction to pain meds are completely different physiologically, and just because someone is addicted to one does not mean the other is inevitable. I was worried but it seems, at least for H, that is true.