The Language of Letting Go, April 9

Old 04-08-2015, 11:30 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
honeypig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,478
The Language of Letting Go, April 9

APRIL 9

You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."

Giving

Learning to be a healthy giver can be a challenge. Many of us got caught up in compulsive giving--charitable acts motivated by uncharitable feelings of guilt, shame, obligations, pity and moral superiority.

We now understand that catering and compulsive giving don't work. They backfire.

Caretaking keeps us feeling victimized.

Many of us gave too much, thinking we were doing things right. Then we became confused because our life and relationships weren't working. Many of us gave so much for so long, thinking we were doing Higher Power's will. Then in recovery, we refused to give, care or love for a time.

That's okay. Perhaps we needed a rest. But healthy giving is part of healthy living. The goal in recovery is balance--caring that is motivated by a true desire to give, with an underlying attitude of respect for others and ourselves.

The goal in recovery is to choose what we want to give, to whom, when, and how much. The goal in recovery is to give and not feel victimized by our giving.

Are we giving because we want to, because its our responsibility? Or are we giving because we feel obligated, guilty, ashamed or superior? Are we giving because we feel afraid to say no?

Are the ways we try to assist people helpful, or do they prevent others from facing their true responsibilities?

Are we giving so that people will like us or feel obligated to us? Are we giving to prove were worthy? Or are we giving because we want to give and it feels right?

Recovery includes a cycle of giving and receiving. It keeps healthy energy flowing among our Higher Power, others, and us. It takes time to learn how to give in healthy ways. It takes time to learn to receive. Be patient. Balance will come.

Higher Power, please guide my giving and my motives today.

©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.
honeypig is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:46 PM.