youngladysober2

I don't know what to do. I've been trying to convince myself that I will never drink again but I don't believe that. Deep down I know I want to have a glass of wine with my friends. I'm not ready and I don't know why I'm not Ready to be sober. What horrible event needs to happen for me to stop drinking...? I need help and I'm feel like I'm close to relapsing soon...

Thepatman

Play the tape until the end, remember what brought you here, count your blessings.

Trust me, there nothing to be found at the bottom of a glass of wine.

Chewy88

One day at a time

No need to plan the rest of your life.

Soberwolf

Hi YLS try to remember what brought you here in the first place

Also it sounds as if your overwhelmed by the 'forever' thing which ive heard before from others my advice for this would be just for today think like that

you can stay sober just for today which isnt overwhelming worry about tomorrow....tomorrow

we only have today and 1 day at a time we can stay sober

It gets easier & i promise you life is better and more fulfilling like this

2muchpain

The only thing I need to believe is that I won't drink today. I don't know what the future holds for me, so I try not to think too much about it. What I do know is that what I do today with all aspects of my life, not just drinking, will help increase my chances that the future will be a good one. John

ScottFromWI

Wanting to have a drink and actually having one are 2 different things completely. What you are feeling now are simply thoughts...and you can control/shape your thoughts over time.

Nothing "bad" has to happen to convince you to quit....but you do need to accept your drinking for what it is, and recognize that you cannot control it once you start. Just worry about today first...you can worry about tomorrow tomorrow.

Bmac

No horrible event is needed. This time around, I quit voluntarily before anything "bad" could happen. When I started drinking this last time, I promised myself that if my drinking ever got to the point where consequences would be inevitable if I continue, then I would just quit. So I did. I stopped digging my hole before it got ugly. However, I was convinced that if I did not stop, then I was at risk of losing things that I was not prepared to give up because of booze (family, job, worsening health)

You have the power to choose where your "bottom" is long before you lose that choice. You simply have to take responsibility and action to simply stop drinking.

doggonecarl

If you feel that sobriety is a punishment that is keeping you away from fun and enjoying life, you are going to resent it. Resentment is the alcoholics best friend because we drink at what we resent.

Recovery isn't about not drinking. It's about embracing sobriety. WHy don't you seek out a recovery program that will help you accept, and love the sober life?

Fly N Buy

Hi Youngladysober - glad you posted! The honesty of your post is very refreshing. Many here and in the rooms I attend would never speak or post from the heart as you just did. Seem you have a level of willingness but maybe not acceptance. In my experience, it typically is the other way around.

I had accepted I was an alcoholic, but really was not willing to do much about it. Especially when I was young. As I aged I figured there really was not much hope of really every quitting and change maybe was not possible. This is the diseased mind telling us this - it lies!

I see young people daily that stop and stay stopped - I see older folks do the same thing as well and we all see those who do not stop. Those friends typically just don't want to really do what it take to stay stopped. Others go back out because our disease lies - does push ups waiting for us. They think they can drink again like a normal person - after 10 -15 -20 years or more!! That's the insanity.

Remember this if nothing else from this wordy post - No one can tell you how to get to the point of accepting you cannot drink. You have to find the path for yourself - my path is not yours and vise versa. Alcoholism Will Kill around 3million people this year - it does not care how old you are. If you want to live a full happy life find the way.......

Even if you hate AA - consider going to open meetings and listen to people in their 40-50 and 60's trying to quit. Picture yourself that age still trying to find your way.......

Our disease is doing push ups, gaining strength - waiting for us to fail.

ru12

If you can have a glass of wine now and then with your friends and can keep it at a glass or two, then you probably don't need to stop drinking. I found that that occasional glass with friends often became me drinking a few bottles alone. For what it is worth I like my life better sober, but it took some work to get there.

Anna

I hope that you decide to stop drinking. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and it will get worse unless you stop drinking. And, the horrible events you are talking about may occur.

But, you do need a lot of motivation to stop drinking and to recover.

Dee74

I wanted toi drink for a long time after I quit...but I didn't

The more I built my sober life and rediscovered the real me out from under all those years of addiction, I found eventually I really didn't want to drink or get high anymore.

Give yourself a little time - try and be patient youngladysober

D

MrLofg0029

It's okay to want to drink, but today you can't and won't.

I know that I can't ever drink again, but I break it down into 24 hr blocks, sometimes shorter blocks. It's worked for over a year.

KeepTruckin

Thanks for your post! I definitely understand your feelings and concerns. I feel like that sometimes, too. But every other time I gave in and went back to drinking I've regretted it. So now when I feel like I want to drink, I just remind myself of all the reasons I quit. It's not always easy, but I'm trying real hard and I hope you can, too. I wish you the best and hope you are able to use this great forum to keep your head clear

Mountainmanbob

??
Not sure about you
but, the end for many is not a pretty one.

When the writing is on the wall
many will refuse to look in that direction.

As we (push it to the limit one more time).

Made for a good lyric in a song
but, probably not the best way to live life ?

MM

LadyinBC

I try not to overthink it. "never again" "forever" I don't use these words.

I get thru it one day at a time, I don't think about tomorrow or a week from now etc.

All that is required of me today, is to get thru today without a drink. That's it. Keep it simple.

Belle13

Hello I'm new here and I'm at wits end. I can completely relate to the youngladysober post above. I have been toying with quitting this horrible addiction for the last 6 years and have been unable to do it for any more than a couple of months.

Today I asked myself to just give it 6-months with no alcohol. I think if I can just get through 6 months I might start to forget about the stuff and maybe this horrible addiction will go away. I just want Alcohol out of my life and I wish I had never tried it as a teen, in college, in my 20's and 30s (sigh). I just want it gone. I'm feeling discouraged and blue today - but I'm sober.

Thanks for listening.

least

When I first got sober I couldn't think of not drinking 'forever'. I just stayed sober a day at a time. Now with over five years, I feel grateful to be sober and like my life a lot better this way.

Nonsensical

I really want to throw my stapler at my boss's head.
I really want to run idiot drivers off the road on my commute home.
I really want to see a fresh young hottie nekkid.
I really want to adopt all 28 puppies at the animal shelter.
I really want to drink some alcohol.

I have a rather long list of things I want to do that I'm never going to do because they would be stupid. Alcohol seemed special on that list when I was obsessed with it.

I broke the obsession by starving my addiction. Do yourself a favor and get a taste of this freedom. I'll never be a slave again.

Gottalife

Hi YLS, I appreciate your honesty. I got sober at 22, though I did not believe it would be possible for me to recover. Today I am quite happy with the prospect that I will never drink again, but that has come from the recovery process, not the scary events that sometimes happen in the last parts of our drinking.

Nothing bad has to happen for you to get and stay sober. I accomplished that through a recovery program but in order to do what it takes, I needed a good reason. I found that when I sat down with an aa member for an afternoon and discovered what was actually wrong with me, how serious it was, and that there was a way out. I was suffering from a progressive illness which was getting worse all the time, there was no cure, and unless I could stop drinking I would surely die.

I didn't just take this guys word for it, I compared what he told me to my own experience and I began to see the truth of my situation. Unless there was a big change in me, I wasn't going to live much longer. Once that fact was established in my mind, I had my reason to do what it takes. It was simply a matter of life and death, mine!

I guess some people need a big scare, like killing their child, to break through the denial. But an honest talk with someone who knows alcoholism, keeping an open mind, could save you from that kind of pain.