kzaug2014

My suspicions that my husband relapsed on H again for the 3rd time proved to be true. He just got out of rehab 2wks ago & I knew he was sleeping far too well, not to mention his mood has been good ( until last night. )
I woke up last night at 2am to him vomiting and running a bath. I got up & said "I see you relapsed again." My once honest husband just denied it, of course. I went back to bed & pushed it outta my mind, so I could sleep.

He was still up at 8am this morning ( & still sick. ) He tried brushing it off, saying he must have gotten sick from our son. I replied that he must think I'm a fool. I know the difference between a cold & H withdrawal! He finally fessed up.

I went from feeling despair to anger to numb in the matter of a few hrs.

I thought to myself "I kicked H last Aug. And compared to benzo & subs withdrawals, H is a breeze!!! Wtheck is your f******problem?" Pardon my French.

Now, I'm feeling hopeless because Idt he'll ever get clean.

OnMyWay7

Kzaug - so sorry that this is going on. Honestly is an issue with addics. I hope he finds the strength to quit.

In the mean time - take care of yourself.

Soberwolf

(((Kzaug)))

Ruby2

Hugs kzaug!!! I know exactly how you feel. Like your stomach just landed on top of your shoes with a thud. Sinking feeling of dread and despair because you know all the ugly craziness that follows. You can do this. You are strong. Take steps to protect yourself. You aren't alone. You have us.

kzaug2014

Ty guys, you're the greatest!
Yea, unfortunately I know that you know how I feel, Ruby.
I truly appreciate all your support.
I feel like I belong in NA, AA ( I've heard that dealers hang out at NA & maybe more peeps my age will be here ) & Al-Anon.

Anna

I'm glad you're getting some support for yourself.

I hope that you take care of yourself regardless of what your husband is doing, and hopefully ye will find his way.

saoutchik

Times like this just do what's best for yourself and your son Kzaug.

I feel for you

kzaug2014

Thx & yea, I know Saoutchik. My brain tells me to do this, but my heart is a different matter. We've had a lot of medical problems through out our marriage, but this H thing just started last yr. ( we've been together for 21yrs. now & he's been a very good husband up to this point. )

My son is 22yrs old ( lives at home, ) but he still shouldn't have to deal w/all this addict stuff. I feel for him.

My husband did agree to go back to rehab ( again. ) But, this time he's going to go to a 30 day rehab in Georgia. The other rehabs he went to were only 5 day detox. Ttytt, I'll be relieved when he leaves again ( even though I feel bad, just saying that. )

saoutchik

Kzaug - my apologies I didn't intent to disrespect your husband, I didn't realise your son was a grown up so I meant look after yourself thinking he was still a child

kzaug2014

Oh my, you didn't disrespect anyone, Saoutchik. I'm sorry if I left that impression because it was not my intent.

Dee74

I'm sorry Kz. I'm glad he's agreed to go to rehab tho

D