Pat A

And save it for when I consider drinking again.

But since I cant, maybe my SR pals can help... What was your worst hangover?

And I know. Every hangover is the worst youve ever had...

doggonecarl

I had hangovers for the entire 35 years I drank. They didn't get me sober. And the memory of them isn't what keeps me sober.

I doubt they will for you.

Mrrryah1

Ugh I've said this exact thing so many times.

"I wish I could bottle this DESPERATION/SELF-HATRED/HANGOVER/SUICIDAL IDEALIZATION/FEELING etc. etc. and save it for next time I want to drink."

One sip of that and there is no way I would pick up. Is there?

That's the tricky part of the illness. We forget. We have a brain that has a contract out on our a**. To be frank - it's trying to kill us.

What are you doing for your recovery Pat?

PurpleKnight

Going back over old threads on SR is very helpful for when you forget, I find it's a great resource!!

Mrrryah1

Did you ever get to that 1st meeting you were talking about?

Wastinglife

I have a great memory unfortunately so I have no trouble playing back drunken memories going back years. It's been a while since I did anything regrettable but only because I have so much guilt stored up already that I just automatically play the tape through to the end result that drinking always brings. I'm scared to drink.....

Dee74

My hangovers never kept me sober Pat - in fact they were a reason to go more beer - hair of the dog.

Insanity.

How's your recovery plan?

D

Dee74

double post.

thomas11

This is just my opinion but for an alcoholic, a hangover is merely an inconvenience. It's the lost job, lost marriage, lost children, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, fear, self loathing, blackouts, jail, financial catastrophe...to name a few, that's what most likely makes the alcoholic want to quit.

I know that doesn't answer your question, but may give you something to consider. My worst hangover was probably when I was young.

Para

I binge drank a lot, to the point of passing out or blacking out. Sometimes, but not often, I would puke and have a headache. But a lot of the times, I didn't get a hangover. It actually surprised people. I guess my body got used to all the liquor.
The only thing i got was anxiety. That was my hangover.

pigeonhead

Hangover avoidance is one of my major motivators. The difference between what I'm able to accomplish on a hangover day (even a mild one) and a non-hangover day is notable. It's been a few years since I've had a lying-on-the-bathroom-floor sort of hangover. But I've had many, many mornings when I wished I could fast-forward 24 hours and feel normal again. That moment just after you wake up after a night on the sauce and realize what you're in for...you feel exhausted no matter how long ago you passed out because of the low-quality sleep you get when your system is full of booze. Man, that's the worst. I think about the miles between that feeling and waking up after a sober night. Thinking about it is making me less likely to buy that "last" bottle of chardonnay.

MelindaFlowers

I could have written this. The ONE thing that keeps me sober is the chance to never have another hangover. They were terrorizing the past few years, like chards of glass all over my body. I don't have another hangover in me. I remember them like they were yesterday. Never, ever again.

Even this morning at work I had my daily "WOW, so nice to not have a hangover" moment. I have one every day. Today I was just leaning against a counter, talking to a coworker. My head was clear. My eyes were clear. I could just be in the moment. I am very aware, every single day that I am not hungover. You have the chance for freedom too.

GnikNus

The anxiety and panic attacks that came after a night of drinking have been a big motivator not to drink. The feelings of dread and impeding doom, man. That was terrible.

pigeonhead

Me too, and it's become worse over the last couple of years. It's amazing how potent it is, even if you know the cause and that it will pass.

Greggo1959

I am only on day 13 but my biggest motivator so far has been to avoid my up to 3 day soul destroying hangovers. I would drink so much, easily polishing off a 5 litre wine cask ( equivalent to about 7 bottles of wine) in a night that my body would simply be poisoned for days. Day 1 of the hangover was spent almost comatosed, day 2 I couldn't go and do anything as I was terrified if having an alcohol induced anxiety attack, and day 3 I felt so low and unmotivated and ashamed of my behaviour whilst drunk that I would just skulk around feeling sorry for myself. What a high price to pay when I really only enjoyed maybe the first 2 hours of drinking, then the rest I didn't remember.

MelindaFlowers

Pat A,

I just noticed that you asked what was our worst hangover. I think that's a good question. I summed mine up awhile back if you care to read. Reading this has helped me stay sober.

I miss the morning inventory of just what kind and just how severe the hangover would be. My God I could write 15 pages a day about how much I don't miss hangovers.

And then there were the real whoppers which were usually only on weekends because I planned so well. This type of hangover made it so I could barely walk. I could barely talk. I could barely send a text message. Watching a movie was painful and I couldn't even pay attention to what was going on. It was impossible to keep track of what the actors were saying or doing. Lying on the couch was painful. These were the ones where actually I thought I might die that day. My BP must have been at ungodly levels. I could always feel my heart beating in my chest. My head did not even really hurt during these. It felt like my brain was melting and I could not even enunciate my words correctly. I would drink water, tons of water, all day and not urinate until 10 PM. It would feel like my insides were shaking like every organ in my body was fidgety. There was no rest, no peace. Mind and body in pure unfiltered hell..Almost forgot the diarrhea. Funny enough, I hadn't vomited in years. So tired I could barely open my eyes but sleep was miles away. My central nervous system was going haywire yet my body was exhausted. Too tired to move but too fidgety to sit still.

Pain in the liver area, chest pains, pains in my left side too. Was it pancreatitis? I wonder what organ will fail first? During hangovers I always figured it would be brain damage that would get me first.

In the meanwhile, people are outside jogging, walking their dogs, going to the park. I would get text messages saying hey what's up? These were from people who were out in public maybe at the mall shopping, feeling good, trying on clothes, browsing, feeling normal, just having a normal Saturday. I used to enjoy weekends before I started drinking. Ironic, huh? Other people spent their weekends playing tennis or rollerskating or going to a movie. As I would lay there thinking I was going to die I didn't know if I would ever have a normal weekend again. Was that the ice cream truck that just drove by? It felt the most bizarre during the summer when it was 90° outside and sunny and I was at home with the air conditioning cranked up shivering under a down comforter and sweating at the same time Who were those people outside riding bicycles? How did they do that? Did they really not drink on Friday night? What did they do instead? What would that even feel like?

I've been sober for four months and I can tell you now it feels a whole lot :::::::::: better to be part of the living breathing human race again!

I had hangovers like this every weekend for about five years, Saturday and Sunday. I was hungover every day at work too, just managed to get through it somehow. I drank about the same amount on work nights as weekends. Blackouts on work nights were not uncommon. I was drinking, very consistently, 18-24 ounces of vodka a night. Rarely I would go over and I NEVER went under. There were times I finished a fifth.

TroyW

My hangovers didn't last long, because I always fixed them with a whiskey & coke.

Well, that's wrong. Worst ones were when I forgot to eat for a few days, and my body shut down on me. It would put me into bed for at least 36 hours, until I slowly started drinking again, and got my tolerance back to the good ole 1L/day. Not good...

SDH73

Wow, Melinda! You put into words perfectly what I felt at least a couple of times a week. Thanks for that!