mrjustin

Hi all,

Im 4 months 11 days now.

Keen to hear how you found / are finding this stage?

Cheers

Verte

Well done with 4 months and 11 days!! This is quite the accomplishment.

How are you finding this stage?

This time was a bit "ho-hum" in the sense that there were no longer fires, dramas, situations to contend with and I just had to be who I am. Be me. This is a good thing! Keep working on being in public, at work, interacting with the world as I am, a non-drinker. From the day 1, the sober me has been a work in progress, constantly remembering things, changing perspectives and evolving. Tolerance for myself and my process was the order of the day. I did not always like it or feel good but I had to keep plowing through and just dealing with it. Sober.

Around 4 months, bright-eyed bushy tailed was superseded by the 'i-mean-business' me. A lot of deeper psychological work was going on while actually being sober was so much easier. But this is just me.

Keep doing a fabulous job.

Jdvivre

Hey Mr. Justin.

I had my first total meltdown at around 4.5 months. I didn't drink, but it certainly felt like a relapse with the severe emotiona storm and binge eating, self-loathing, shame etc. Having said that - I'd been white knuckling sobriety up until that point.

I finally admitted I couldn't do it alone, found SR, found an AA meeting in my area and decided to work on recovery. There was a lot of emotional **** I'd ignored and psychological stuff I thought I could avoid by isolating myself for that entire time, these manifested in severe control-freakish behaviour and subsequent melt-downs as soon as I discovered my lack of stress-handling techniques when things were out of my control.

Sooo...it was hard. I realized all the things I'd hoped would disappear though 'sobriety' (staying dry) were still all there, and that I could either go back to the booze or find help out there. Which I did, and to this day (though it's only been about a month) it's been the best decision of my life.

Whatever your thoughts on AA and 12 step programs, there's a lot to be said for the power of community. Even the online meetings help me feel less alone in "trudging the happy road to destiny" hahaha.

Good job on staying sober this long! Keep it up, one day at a time.

LBrain

congrats on 4 months justin,

for me - at 4 months is when I learned I was being let go from my job of almost 24 years. I had a lot on my mind besides just getting sober at the time.
The thing is, I didn't go back to drinking. Even though things got "worse" for me.
I think after 6 months is when I started to notice a change in myself.

zerothehero

I lost my mind at around four months, and I thought I was doing well before that. Too complicated to explain here, but I think it had to do with realizing who I am once I had stripped decades of pretending to be someone else. I had to face the abuse and madness of my past and find strength I wasn't sure I had.

Well, I have it and then some. That was last April. This April I am solid and healing and blooming and standing strong. If you're down know that it won't always be that way. Change is inevitable. Steer it toward the positive.

StayStrong33

I'm 4 months and 3 days. I joined AA in December, got a sponsor, found some other young women to do sober things with and can honestly say I feel the best I have in years. I can't think of one thing in my life that hasn't gotten better since I stopped drinking and found a better way. I always thought "I'm crazy and need to drink" but now realized the alcohol was making me insane! Even my mistakes don't feel as bad as they used to because at least it wasn't alcohol induced. It's funny to say but I didn't know how drunk I was until I got sober. It is truly a miracle. Congrats on your new found sobriety!

brynn

Hi mrjustin!

Well, I'm 4 months sober today and I'm really beginning to come into my own! I'm more confident than I've ever been, my health is better, I'm training for a half marathon, I'm more at peace with myself and the universe in general. I am empowered to live my life on my terms now! Yay!

How are you faring at the 4 month mark?

GnikNus

Besides the half marathon, my feelings and experience is nearly identical. I'm at a week over 4 months. I feel myself living life more deliberately and productively. I feel more at ease and more comfortable with others and myself. It's still a process. I'm learning to work through things reflectively- things I used to "drink at" instead of deal with. There's more of an up front, open honesty about things.
The fog has lifted as well, and my perspective on things has improved. No more wasted days, weeks, months, years. No more myopic stumbling.

Jdvivre

I really loved reading all of these - thanks for asking the Q Justin...goes to show how even looking for help is in fact helping others, too.

neferkamichael

Mrjustin, 4 months 11 days is just FANTASTIC, congratulations. I was feeling better than at 4 days or 4 weeks but I wasn't gonna be satisfied until I got 1 year. Now 4 years 8 months sober I'm proud of myself and confident I can stay sober forever. One of the problems I still have is spending my time productively. Find a passion for something and put your heart, soul, and all your time into it, don't give that SOB AV a second to sneek into your life, rootin for ya.

Fluffer

I'm at just over four months here and I'm feeling pretty good, although a little flat at times. I don't crave a drink, although sometimes it miss it. But I'm firm in my decision that I have made the right choice and the benefits will far outweigh any loss. But really, most drinking was not even that much fun any more anyways. I've gone too far to turn back now. I am enjoying better health and energy and losing weight. And for the last 25 years I sort of assumed I would live out my life dominated by an evil addiction that has really cost me over the years. Kind of nice to be free.

Lance40

I'm at 5 months and feel similar to most who have posted here. My self confidence has really grown, and I'm in a good place. I'm starting to be able to take a stand for who I am, handle conflict better, say what I really think and feel, etc. The anxiety that plagued me for years is largely gone. I always felt like I hung out on the sidelines and watched life go by, but now I'm starting to feel like I'm in the game and have a say in how my life goes. I don't really have much in the way of cravings, but to be honest I do sometimes miss the better memories of alcohol that I have. I still have a long way to go, so I stay pretty involved with AA step work and other personal work.

mrjustin

WOWEE! These comments have blown me away! Thanks so much for expressing yourselves guys. Amazingly I could relate and took something away from all of them.

For me at the 4.5 minth mark each sober day is a cherished sober jewel which I embrace as a treasure. The anxiety is largely gone, Im looking and feeling better at 36 than when I was 28. The doctors happy so are the organs.

I too felt like I was watching life from the sidelines. Im still trying to figure out "who is this guy"? a bit... Best of all im being there for my partner and kids, im not driving to work worrying about the alcohol I can smell on my breath, Im not rifling through the car looking for loose chanfe to buy wine that my wife begs she needs for bread and milk.....im ashamed of who I was back then, the shif priorities, selfish bastard I was.

I like the me I see, and lifes soo much happy rational and better ! As time goes on its slowly getting easier (the sober thing). But it was bloody hard lonely and scary. SR really helped me to know I just had to keep the faith and hang in there. I really went through a horrid long physical withdrawel.

Best of all im enjoying people sober, which is a work in progress. I still miss the beers with mates at times however I dont miss the dreaded hangover monster.

No sir,

Not me!!

PurpleKnight

4 Months is fantastic Justin!! Keep it going!!

brynn

Sound like you're doing just fine, justin!
Congrats on your new life!

GnikNus

[QUOTE="Lance40;5304969"]I'm at 5 months and feel similar to most who have posted here. My self confidence has really grown, and I'm in a good place. I'm starting to be able to take a stand for who I am, handle conflict better, say what I really think and feel, etc."

I feel exactly the same. More comfortable in general and better with conflict.