bluhend

just typing that subject line out still gives me anxiety, even though tomorrow will be my 10 week mark ... I recognize how much better my life is on so many levels but the thought of NEVER drinking again kind of freaks me out ... I'm interested in what people have to say about that, words of wisdom, commiserations, insights, etc... sock it to me!

ScottFromWI

Think of it this way....you'll NEVER be hungover again, you'll NEVER get a DUI, you'll NEVER make a drunken ass of yourself again, you'll NEVER feel the shame, embarrassment and guilt of a drunken evening that you don't remember...and the list goes on.

Mikie9

Why would you want to drink again? Give me one good reason why that is something you want to chose to do again. I can't come up with one for myself. I have a whole ot of reasons why I whine that I can't just hide anymore, but none of them make me want to live that life again.

I got a lot of whining left in me, but I do it sober where the whining results in action, not just a cycle of whine, try, whine, try.

It gets easier once you get past the initial change. Have a goal that involves replacing the time spent drinking, with action. Sounds easy, and it is a challenge for us, but there is no easy button

bluhend

I hear you, for sure ... I guess there's this idea that "maybe I can enjoy a couple beers now and again" ya know? not even every week, maybe once in a while let myself have a few and then go back to not drinking for weeks etc.. are you laughing right now?

Dee74

It freaked me out too - in the beginning, so I just committed for that day - but always with the proviso I'd re-commit again tomorrow...

eventually I had a string of days behind me and forever didn't seem so scary anymore cos I was already doing it

don't be afraid to look at your life and make changes either - just not drinking wasn't enough to keep me sober - I needed to be happy with the life I was leading as well

D

Mikie9

no laughing here. If you could do that, wouldn't you be doing that?

Many of us have thought we could do that, and we couldn't.

My only advice is stay sober for a month and if you're ok with that then maybe you are ok to have one every now and again. but we didn't find ourselves here because we could control our buzz habits, or our need to escape.

GnikNus

My drinking life could never even come close to measuring up to my sober life. The biggest thing- in addition to the improved perspective on life, the freedom from crippling anxiety attacks, etc- is simply that I'm living life and I'm more productive and proactive about life. Being deliberate about what I want- goals, things I enjoy, etc.- drinking clouded those things. Got in the way of those things. Comparing what sobriety has given me and drinking doesn't even come close.

A buzz vs.

a rich and full life
better physical and metal health
Being a better person
Enjoying and noticing things more/not having blinders on.. This list goes on and on, and for me it's an easy choice.

MIRecovery

The first step for me was accepting that I could never drink like normal people. The second was staying sober a day at a time. At about 2 years I started to believe I could do this forever. At 5 years I am as sure as I can be that I will never drink again.

What keeps and has kept me sober is doing what I need to do on a daily basis to maintain my sobriety

zerothehero

Sometimes I wish there were good nonalcoholic wines and beers because I was kind of a connoisseur, but they don't exist. There are also lots of unhealthy foods I could (but choose not to) eat even though they're really tasty, so I kind of look at it that way. I have no desire to put poison in my body, especially alcohol. I'm over it.

digdug

Because of alcohol, my hips collapsed and I had to get them replaced at age 32.

I can't run again. I can't play basketball again. I can't ice skate again.

If I drink, god only knows what else I won't be able to to again.

bluhend

Thanks Dee, so it just kind of "went away"? The NEVER thing?

Tang

The romaticized lie about alcohol that society has painted in our heads, is just that, a lie. Unless you play that tape forward to the next day when our brains are in a fog and we are guilty and miserable. Now there is the truth.

bluhend

I hear you my friend, I am getting a taste of it now, feels like I'm coming back to life somehow, everything is more vivid ...

bluhend

I really like the way you look at that! I also love your quote at the end, cutting and pasting into a daily reminder

bluhend

jesus, I'm sorry my friend ...

MelindaFlowers

I also had to accept that I just do not drink like normal people. And if I did drink like a normal person I wouldn't enjoy it. It would really be like torture.

If we could all moderate, like a few every few weeks, we would've done that and we wouldn't need sites like Soberrecovery.

If I ever started drinking again it would mean blackouts, drinking more than I planned, drinking every day, sick at work.

Those are the reasons I quit!

ScottFromWI

For me it didn't go away, I accepted it as a fact of my life. Many failed attempts finally showed me that I can never, and will never be able to control alcohol.

And after a while I realized that its not so much that I can't drink again as I never have to drink again. Every conceivable facet of my life is better solely because of sobrietty.

Dee74

I'm not sure it went away, so much as I changed, bluhend

I'm not the same guy I was when I quit -and that's not a bad thing, cos I'm better

The more experience of sober life I have, the less I want to go back to my old life, you know?

D

bluhend

wow, that's awesome man! ... I think there is some part of me not totally convinced that I can't control it, it goes something like "you just never tried hard enough, if you take it seriously you can do it" ... I am very suspicious of that voice because I know how attempts at moderation drift back to daily drinking and then to HEAVY daily drinking, just a downward spiral ...

bluhend

I'm starting to taste that "know" yes, great answer, thanks