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Can't make it more than 2 days

Old 04-04-2015, 06:25 AM
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Can't make it more than 2 days

I really want to be sober. I can usually not go for more than 2 days. I wake up hungover, like this morning, beating myself up and hurting emotionally and physically, and I make promises to myself about never drinking again. I may even go to a meeting. I'll feel awful all day so won't have a problem not drinking tonight. Tomorrow will be a different story. I'll wake up feeling better, and I'll start talking myself out of sobriety. I'll be pretty sure I can handle just a couple drinks maybe two nights a week? A completely sober life is terrifying and I tell myself that in my situation with lupus and a heavy drinking husband I have to learn to drink moderately just to survive. So by tomorrow night, I'll start drinking again. Just one or two glasses of wine, I'll promise myself, and then, like last night, it will turn into 5 glasses of wine and a martini, and the insanity cycle will start all over again. I'm a smart woman. I know I have a big problem. I wish I had the strength and courage of others on this forum. So I guess I'll make this Day 1 again. And pray I can make it through Day 2 sober. Thank you for your patience with me.
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Old 04-04-2015, 06:28 AM
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One of the tricks for me has been to just focus on today

When you get wrapped up into weeks and years in the future its too much to handle

Stay sober today. Then when tomorrow comes just focus all your energy into thst day.
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Old 04-04-2015, 06:29 AM
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You can, Eliasson, just like we did. It's not a walk in the park but then again anything worth having is worth putting up a fight for.

Sobriety saved my life, give it a go to day 2, the further you travel the easier it will become.
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Old 04-04-2015, 07:28 AM
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I wish I never started to feel better and lived with a perpetual hangover to keep me from drinking. How can I remember this feeling the next time I decide its a good idea to have a drink?
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Old 04-04-2015, 07:32 AM
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Acceptance, you can print this page off & keep it in your wallet to never forget

Have you got a plan ? http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
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Old 04-04-2015, 07:34 AM
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Goodness, our stories could be the same. I would vow the morning after a binge that I would, never drink again, then by 4:00 I would be already thinking about how I could moderate. I couldn't imagine my life without alcohol. How could I bear the stress ? The anxiety ? The strife ? The fun ? The sex ? Without my magic elixir.

I tried for decades to make it fit. I'm 45 and believe me when I tell you, I tried everything.

Until I finally realized, alcohol was not my "magic elixir" at all. It was what what keeping me exactly where I was, anxious, depressed, fat, sad, and miserable all but maybe an hour a day when I would get to that place where the switch would turn off in my head.

Now, three months later, (I've been sober for 5 months and 8 months prior) I have finally come to terms that alcohol has no place in my future. Because if i we're to continue drinking at the pace I was, I wouldn't have one.

In the past, I always left the escape hatch open . Thinking maybe someday I could make it fit in. That imevitably led to me going back to the bottle.

This time is different. Alcohol frightens me now. I realize that it's a poison not fit for human consumption. And I know that I could never live up to my potential this lifetime, if I continue to drink.

I hope you can find away to step away too. Never stop trying. Never stop quitting.

Your life awaits.
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Old 04-04-2015, 07:39 AM
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You want to quit the cycle? Then quit this:

Originally Posted by Eliasson View Post
I'll feel awful all day so won't have a problem not drinking tonight. Tomorrow will be a different story. I'll wake up feeling better, and I'll start talking myself out of sobriety. I'll be pretty sure I can handle just a couple drinks maybe two nights a week? A completely sober life is terrifying...
This is you giving yourself permission to drink. You, bailing out on your decision to get sober. You can't go two days because on the second day you tell yourself it's okay to drink.

Start telling yourself you've stopped drinking and stick with it.

And I think the idea of a meeting is a good one. Pick up some numbers. Call them when the voice in your head starts convincing you to drink.
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Old 04-04-2015, 07:45 AM
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Alpha omega- yes, yes and yes again. Thank you for putting in words everything I am feeling and doing. How are you staying stopped?
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Old 04-04-2015, 07:45 AM
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You have to stop entertaining the idea you can moderate and take drinking off the table as an option. My AV used to try the "it's only going to be a drink, maybe 2" all the time. You have to call it out on its lies, "remember what happened last time I thought I could drink just 1 or 2 glasses of wine? It wasn't just two glasses of wine".

I eventually had to reach the conclusion I could not drink safely and that drinking just put me back in the same vicious cycle. I didn't want to be in that cycle any more since I knew if I continued, it was just a matter of time until health problems started to occur due to alcohol. You also need to reach that conclusion, but none of us can do that for you.

Have you considered other options like outpatient or inpatient?
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Old 04-04-2015, 07:49 AM
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If you are tired of failing stop giving up.



There is no room for one more. Be done. It is far easier than that moderation experiment you keep running.
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Old 04-04-2015, 07:49 AM
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Same way you stopped for 13 months !

One silly little day at a time.

You going to have to push through the hard days. There really is no way around but through.

I have a laundry list why I SHOULD be able to continue to drink (poor me).

But only one single reason why I should STOP.

I want to live.
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Old 04-04-2015, 07:57 AM
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Change your thinking. I hear alot of negative self talk that is setting you up.

Originally Posted by Eliasson View Post
A completely sober life is terrifying
Sobriety is not terrifying, it's just the unknown that scares you. Try "exciting" rather than terrifying.

Originally Posted by Eliasson View Post
I tell myself that in my situation with lupus and a heavy drinking husband I have to learn to drink moderately just to survive.
There is no such thing as moderate drinking for an alcoholic. Tell yourself you can easily survive without moderate drinking.

Originally Posted by Eliasson View Post
I wish I had the strength and courage of others on this forum.
Everyone here was where you are at now. You DO have the strength and courage! We are all pulling for you!
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Old 04-04-2015, 08:03 AM
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Don't do what Iv done and cave, day 3 and I'm back on jim bean having lost everything(again). wish I had the answers, I'm new here and can see already us guys really do have allot in common
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Old 04-04-2015, 08:34 AM
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A completely sober life is terrifying and I tell myself that in my situation with lupus and a heavy drinking husband I have to learn to drink moderately just to survive. So by tomorrow night, I'll start drinking again. Just one or two glasses of wine, I'll promise myself, and then, like last night, it will turn into 5 glasses of wine and a martini, and the insanity cycle will start all over again.

Eliasson,

you're telling yourself a story about what you'll do tomorrow and writing it in stone.

you can choose to tell yourself a different one. one that goes something like this:
i don't know how to do a completely sober life and i'm scared of that unknown. but i can get help with figuring that out and i can learn tools and sitting with being afraid is okay and won't kill me. i want better than to just 'survive'. i deserve better. tomorrow i'm going to get myself some nice tea/hot chocolate/ seltzer/juice and snacks and a good movie.(i'll have a bath/phone a friend/read a book/take a walk/do a puzzle/come to SR/go to a meeting/go swimming) and i will make the changes required to start out on the sober journey.

something like that. and then follow it.
you can change the story. only you can.
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Old 04-04-2015, 08:35 AM
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welcome, Cameron.
lots of support here.
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Old 04-04-2015, 09:30 AM
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I used to do the same thing. I felt that I was only halfway admitting that I was powerless over alcohol. There was a part of me that didn't want to let go or pick dates to drink in the future. Weddings...etc. until I fully accepted my situation I wasn't able to truly determine to quit. And knowing that I can never drink again actually helps me because I've finally accepted it.
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Old 04-04-2015, 10:41 AM
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Can't exactly remember how I got through the first few days, but I got valium from the doc from the detox clinic to suppress the withdrawal symptoms which helped me really well.
You have to have a plan. And you have to put a lot of effort in your detox. It ain't easy baby nothing comes for nothing. Unfortunately. The first two weeks are crap and very hard!
You have to believe in yourself and your willpower and strength that you CAN do this!
You can't sit back and hope for the best to happen, every minute of your day revolces around not drinking.
But
I promise you it will get easier as time passes.
You will build sobriety muscles that kick ass the cravings.
I got anti cravings drugs called Naltrexone that really help me achieving what I want. They're no wonder pill though just like any other anti cravings drug it takes a lot of strength and willpower to get there.
And everyday is a new day
One day and one step at the time girl.
You CAN do it, just don't give up when things are getting hard, cos there will be many days that are hard.
But being sober is the best ever feeling I've had!
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Old 04-04-2015, 11:00 AM
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You can do it
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Old 04-04-2015, 11:32 AM
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I do the same thing....feel better...than start up again....usually slow. But I will have a vacation or a length of time off of work.( I am on a week/ off a week)..as the day approaches to get back to daily grind, I try to taper down my daily intake. Does not matter there is a 24 hr. period where I feel awful.
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Old 04-04-2015, 01:14 PM
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Thank you so much for all of the wisdom and encouragement you are sharing with me. I want this badly and need to start making some real changes to achieve a happy, healthy sober life. I'm so grateful for this forum and everyone on it. I won't give up.
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