Jeni26

I'm sober and proud of that considering how much alcohol is in the house.

Hubby is drunk and really loud...our daughter is home from uni and he's spoiled tonight.

Feeling really sad and isolated. Just wanted to have a little whine if that's ok.

2muchpain

Tough spot to be in. Any chance you and your daughter take take off for a while; go out for dinner or to a friends house!! Do you have any family or friends that are supporting you? John

Jeni26

It's late here in England. I've taken as much as I can and now gone to bed.

I will try and take one day at a time but I can see this causing some real issues between us.

Dee74

Sleep well Jeni - you'll feel better than he does in the morning

D

Anna

I'm sorry this is going badly, Jeni. Maybe you can get out tomorrow and do something enjoyable.

2muchpain

I really hope you can come up with a plan on what you can do when your husband drinks. I probably shouldn't say this, but I think it really stinks when a family member acts this way around someone who is trying to get their life together. I really feel for you. John

neferkamichael

Jeni, rootin for ya.

Kaneda8888

Any particular reason why he would have drunk so much ? Oh well, have a peaceful night and tomorrow, perhaps reflect on the conversation you will have with him.

Soberwolf

I grew up like this and i hated it as my mum was in recovery and my dad was getting drunk every night growing up was so bad because of both thier drinking but at least my mum got into recovery when i was young but i remember everything my dads drinking caused so many problems drinking in the house while my mum was in recovery

he is a blatent alcoholic and drinks to this day while i lost my mum 5 years ago

I really feel for you Jeni & know exactly what your going thru

if you ever want to vent or just talk send me a pm

(((Jeni)))

strategery

Jeni-why not take your daughter out of the house and do something fun together like go out for coffee, go to a movie, go for a walk, etc?

wehav2day

Jeni, I think you and your daughter should go to that special place tomorrow, the one in your avatar...

OnMyWay7

So sorry you're having a rough night it would be really hard if anyone else in my family drank. I'm glad you were sober for your daughter.

fini

ach Jeni, sorry to hear it.
yes, be proud of yourself!
and have a whine here anytime. but for what it's worth: i don't think you whined at all.

you might need to take some time and grapple with boundaries you might need.
maybe just enjoy your daughter and leave the grappling til after she leaves?

Jeni26

Thanks so much guys. I was just feeling a little sorry for myself there. I went to bed and slept well. It's now 6 am and I've woken up bright and breezy and he's fast asleep.

I'm going to have to learn how to deal with these situations. Once he gets beyond a certain point with his drinking he goes beyond any reasonable discussion. I remember it well.

He's not an abusive drunk in the true sense of the word but he becomes belligerent and takes over all conversations. I'm just hypersensitive to it maybe because I'm in early recovery.

The good news is...I'm 2 weeks sober today!

Thanks for letting me rant.

Dee74

My hope is you won't have to put up with it for long Jeni.
I hope Hubby realises that sober is best

D

Jeni26

Thanks Dee. He is a good man and since he started drinking again hasn't really gone over the top too often. I think last night he was so happy..we both were..we had both kids home and had a lovely family evening planned. It's like he gets over-excited and the drinks start flowing. He reaches that point when his behaviour becomes larger than life and he dominates all conversations with an attempt to be funny but just comes across as annoying.

The kids have grown up with it and don't seem to get too upset. I just felt sad because I felt his behaviour had spoilt a special time.

He will go into denial today and accuse me of being miserable if I raise it with him.

I cannot see him giving up drinking again anytime soon if I'm honest.

awuh1

I thought of making a suggestion yesterday but decided against it. I'm going to go with my first impulse and let you decide if it might be helpful at some point.

My idea was to make a video of his behavior when he is "over the top". Then if he says you are "being miserable" offer to show it to him. Sometimes there is no better way of making a point about a persons behavior than to let them make it themselves.

MidnightBlue

((Jeni, sorry you felt sad yesterday, and had to deal with this situation))

But you are 2 weeks sober!!

Treat yourself to something special today - even a little thing would work.

Enjoy your sober morning and a weekend.