Tipping the scales: when sobriety outweighs being drunk
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Tipping the scales: when sobriety outweighs being drunk
Early sobriety is challenging for so many reasons. In addition to the physical symptoms and general mental fatigue, many of us become very depressed and frustrated. Your financial problems haven't gone away. Neither has that court date. Your relationship issues have not disappeared. You haven't lost 50 lbs. Meanwhile, your friends are still drinking and going about their old lives. Your boss still wants that report. Your landlord still wants to be paid and your dog still needs to have gall bladder surgery. The list goes on. You are trying your darndest to simply stay sober...but real life has no sympathy for your struggles and the pressure can feel relentless.
It's at this point in our frustration where many of us pick the bottle back up. It's so easy to do. That euphoria of drunkenness only takes an hour to achieve and we are back floating on cloud nine. A few hours of "feeling good" seems to be a rational choice. It would almost seem like it outweighs living sober.
But hold on for a second and listen to how my last 2.5 years have gone while living sober. I paid off my debts, slowly but surely. I was able to show up when required by doctors and in some cases lawyers. I went to job interviews sober and eventually became re-employed. I went to my grandmother's funeral sober, went to my cousins wedding sober, and regained the trust of my family. I began to realize that most people operate 24/7 with a sober mind, while I had only been functioning on a drunk mind for years. Woah. I was able to plan a move abroad, and actually go through with it. I found a great and lovely companion and met new friends. I saved up and bought a car. Meanwhile, 30lbs have disappeared from my waistline. I have gone on many adventures. I climbed a friggin' volcano. I flew on a small plane over the jungle. I speak 2 languages with confidence. I have seen the Mayan pyramids, the South Pacific, the Caribbean. I've shared the forest with monkeys, iguanas, and eagles. I've biked across national borders at the crossroads of continents.
Achieving all the benefits of sobriety is a marathon. Okay, maybe a half-marathon. But it's not a sprint. I didn't get a box of prizes in my mailbox each morning (I checked)...but what I did receive was a series of small rewards that slowly built up. NOW, a lifetime of sobriety certainly outweighs a few hours of being drunk. It didn't happen overnight, but it didn't take forever, either. Stick with it folks. These early days and months are so hard, but little by little your life will become a lot more exciting and worthwhile.
It's at this point in our frustration where many of us pick the bottle back up. It's so easy to do. That euphoria of drunkenness only takes an hour to achieve and we are back floating on cloud nine. A few hours of "feeling good" seems to be a rational choice. It would almost seem like it outweighs living sober.
But hold on for a second and listen to how my last 2.5 years have gone while living sober. I paid off my debts, slowly but surely. I was able to show up when required by doctors and in some cases lawyers. I went to job interviews sober and eventually became re-employed. I went to my grandmother's funeral sober, went to my cousins wedding sober, and regained the trust of my family. I began to realize that most people operate 24/7 with a sober mind, while I had only been functioning on a drunk mind for years. Woah. I was able to plan a move abroad, and actually go through with it. I found a great and lovely companion and met new friends. I saved up and bought a car. Meanwhile, 30lbs have disappeared from my waistline. I have gone on many adventures. I climbed a friggin' volcano. I flew on a small plane over the jungle. I speak 2 languages with confidence. I have seen the Mayan pyramids, the South Pacific, the Caribbean. I've shared the forest with monkeys, iguanas, and eagles. I've biked across national borders at the crossroads of continents.
Achieving all the benefits of sobriety is a marathon. Okay, maybe a half-marathon. But it's not a sprint. I didn't get a box of prizes in my mailbox each morning (I checked)...but what I did receive was a series of small rewards that slowly built up. NOW, a lifetime of sobriety certainly outweighs a few hours of being drunk. It didn't happen overnight, but it didn't take forever, either. Stick with it folks. These early days and months are so hard, but little by little your life will become a lot more exciting and worthwhile.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
Thank you! That is just what I needed this morning!
I want a rugged & adventurous sobriety...I want to regain myself, not bore myself!
It is a subtle drizzle of blessings - slow, steady, & almost imperceptible until they are already present.
I want a rugged & adventurous sobriety...I want to regain myself, not bore myself!
It is a subtle drizzle of blessings - slow, steady, & almost imperceptible until they are already present.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Thank you BigS for putting the feelings in early sobriety and the timeline into perspective. It does take time. But not a lot of time. 2.5 years is not a lot of time. It really isn't. Early sobriety lays the foundation for an upward journey. Keep on!!!!
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