Hello All! This is my little introduction!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: ND
Posts: 4
Hello All! This is my little introduction!
Most call me Kiki. I live in North Dakota. I have two wonderful boys. I have a wonderful boyfriend of 3 years. I am currently looking for employment to pair up with my college edu and work experience.
Thats generally how small talk goes, right? More indepth on my signing up here. I made a choice to quit drinking. My start date was March 1st, 2015. (I thought it a little note of inspiration to go with a MARCH into a new lifestyle theme). I started drinking a lot when I moved back to ND. It was a gnarly divorce i was in the middle of. I think i started drinking because i wanted to be altered from it all. I dated someone for a year and half. He was the person that told me I had a problem. I had a hell of a run with heavy drinking for the first 2 years I was here... at some points i found myself having 18 beers a night. After the breakup, i decreased my consumption. I would average about 8 a day. I didnt suffer from hangovers, unless it was a mixing night. I maintained going to work. I maintained getting my boys to their school/afterschool events. I scheduled my drinking around it.
I dont really have a lowpoint story. Im not sure if it was just a really bad habit or abuse or alcoholism. I had heard a great deal of people struggling with anger/money problems/duis/unemployment/suicide/broken relationships.
I was under the impression that with such a high tolerence, i didnt see any other definition but alcoholic. I recently had a friend stay with us .... and i saw a very ugly side of his drinking. And i didnt want it to go that far for me... how close was I to this? Did i act at all like this? So I told my boyfriend I would stop drinking altogether. He seemed shocked and questioned why i would stop. He seemed confused a bit. (He rarely drinks). I told him i didnt want my friends life. He accepted it and has been supportive, but doesnt seem to really understand. I asked my boys if they have noticed anything different about me in the last month. They responded with a look of "uuuummmmm, did we forget her birthday". Neither of them saw a difference. I have noticed that I have saved about $300 i would have spent on beer and I have lost 5 pds!
I know this is the best decision for my health (i dont have any health concerns now except being overweight).... but after a month I was really hoping to see more of a difference myself (or from somebody).
I havent had much from withdrawals ... some sweating at night and some headaches. I have read some stories of such a high magnitude of withdrawals, my heart goes out to them!! In all honesty I feel a little silly thinking that i dont have enough to really belong on the forum. Though I know I will find some more support here from those with their own stories. I think im looking for someone that understands thats its a big deal to me ... Thank you all for your time and attention!!
Thats generally how small talk goes, right? More indepth on my signing up here. I made a choice to quit drinking. My start date was March 1st, 2015. (I thought it a little note of inspiration to go with a MARCH into a new lifestyle theme). I started drinking a lot when I moved back to ND. It was a gnarly divorce i was in the middle of. I think i started drinking because i wanted to be altered from it all. I dated someone for a year and half. He was the person that told me I had a problem. I had a hell of a run with heavy drinking for the first 2 years I was here... at some points i found myself having 18 beers a night. After the breakup, i decreased my consumption. I would average about 8 a day. I didnt suffer from hangovers, unless it was a mixing night. I maintained going to work. I maintained getting my boys to their school/afterschool events. I scheduled my drinking around it.
I dont really have a lowpoint story. Im not sure if it was just a really bad habit or abuse or alcoholism. I had heard a great deal of people struggling with anger/money problems/duis/unemployment/suicide/broken relationships.
I was under the impression that with such a high tolerence, i didnt see any other definition but alcoholic. I recently had a friend stay with us .... and i saw a very ugly side of his drinking. And i didnt want it to go that far for me... how close was I to this? Did i act at all like this? So I told my boyfriend I would stop drinking altogether. He seemed shocked and questioned why i would stop. He seemed confused a bit. (He rarely drinks). I told him i didnt want my friends life. He accepted it and has been supportive, but doesnt seem to really understand. I asked my boys if they have noticed anything different about me in the last month. They responded with a look of "uuuummmmm, did we forget her birthday". Neither of them saw a difference. I have noticed that I have saved about $300 i would have spent on beer and I have lost 5 pds!
I know this is the best decision for my health (i dont have any health concerns now except being overweight).... but after a month I was really hoping to see more of a difference myself (or from somebody).
I havent had much from withdrawals ... some sweating at night and some headaches. I have read some stories of such a high magnitude of withdrawals, my heart goes out to them!! In all honesty I feel a little silly thinking that i dont have enough to really belong on the forum. Though I know I will find some more support here from those with their own stories. I think im looking for someone that understands thats its a big deal to me ... Thank you all for your time and attention!!
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to Sober Recovery. I think you are wise to quit before your drinking got out of hand or before you started seeing the health consequences.
Hard to say how close you were...Months? Years? Many Years? One thing is for sure. Drinking progresses. If you are alcoholic, it may progress faster, with more dire results. But for all drinkers, the drinking catches up.
Maybe the positive changes aren't as evident as if you had recovered after hitting bottom. But what you avoided was huge. You should consider that as a big positive.
Originally Posted by MissKiki 
and i saw a very ugly side of his drinking. And i didnt want it to go that far for me... how close was I to this?
Maybe the positive changes aren't as evident as if you had recovered after hitting bottom. But what you avoided was huge. You should consider that as a big positive.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Athens, Georgia
Posts: 962
Thanks for your Post kiki...
Some of us have really been thru the wringer before getting Sober. Fortunately you seem to have made a good choice for yourself before experiencing what some of us have put ourselves thru, and those around us.
You may not be 'Alcoholic'..but it is my understanding that this forum is for all of us that desire to live SOBER.
As for a sense of 'self-renewal' - I was transformed by working the 12 Steps of AA, and I KNOW they are a direct path for anyone to gain 'self-renewal' and 'spiritual renewal'.
They are in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Also, of great help, you can find AA meetings, and ask for help finding a Sponsor, who is someone that has been thru the Steps and will guide you thru the Program. You will want a Woman, if you decide to try it.
RDBplus3...Happy, Joyous, and FREE....and I KNOW you can find the personal renewal you would like to experience.
Some of us have really been thru the wringer before getting Sober. Fortunately you seem to have made a good choice for yourself before experiencing what some of us have put ourselves thru, and those around us.
You may not be 'Alcoholic'..but it is my understanding that this forum is for all of us that desire to live SOBER.
As for a sense of 'self-renewal' - I was transformed by working the 12 Steps of AA, and I KNOW they are a direct path for anyone to gain 'self-renewal' and 'spiritual renewal'.
They are in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Also, of great help, you can find AA meetings, and ask for help finding a Sponsor, who is someone that has been thru the Steps and will guide you thru the Program. You will want a Woman, if you decide to try it.
RDBplus3...Happy, Joyous, and FREE....and I KNOW you can find the personal renewal you would like to experience.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: ND
Posts: 4
Thank you Carl! That is very true. I was limited myself to just 30 days of my life. I wasnt looking at the bigger picture of a potential very dangerous situation. There are wonderful things in my life, I couldnt imagine what it would be like with out. But to continue drinking, well that just may have cost me all of them. Thank you for that reminder!
Thank you as well Blue, my future is a big deal. I wont have any "what ifs" had i keep on drinking. And congrats on your year!
Thank you both for the support. I think its harder to find in ND because its such a norm. Drinking is an accessory to everything here it seems. One of the reasons i miss Phoenix.
I do feel horrible that I could have done a great deal of damage not going through detox. After reading about it, the amount i was having for the length of time ... i should have researched more. I am very lucky. So i hope to make better choices (like joining this group) to help educate myself as well.
Thank you as well Blue, my future is a big deal. I wont have any "what ifs" had i keep on drinking. And congrats on your year!
Thank you both for the support. I think its harder to find in ND because its such a norm. Drinking is an accessory to everything here it seems. One of the reasons i miss Phoenix.
I do feel horrible that I could have done a great deal of damage not going through detox. After reading about it, the amount i was having for the length of time ... i should have researched more. I am very lucky. So i hope to make better choices (like joining this group) to help educate myself as well.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: ND
Posts: 4
Thank you RDB! I appreciate your resourcefulness. I was tinkering with some options with a support network. I am hesitant to the AA 12 step program. I have heard it was wonderful for a good number of people. I do question my comfort level due to a faith emphasised program (and i have a very novice knowledge of AA). Please correct me if im inaccurate with my comment. I have no doubts that it works, im just not sure its the right avenue for me. If there are some other networks out there that i may not know of, i welcome suggestions.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,066
Hi Kiki!
Welcome to a sober life free of the anxiety from drinking!
My wife and I quit drinking two years ago. We found AA meetings to be very helpful--we both did "ninety meetings in ninety days" to give our sobriety a solid foundation. (In general, only large cities have meetings other than AA.) You may not need or be able to do such an intense program, but I think going to a few meetings and learning that help is out there is very beneficial.
AA is not supposed to be a religious program--it is spiritual, based on spiritual principles such as honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness. Meetings vary in their religious overtones--where I live, there is a meeting once a week that ends with the Lord's Prayer and is very rigid in format, while another meeting is "agnostic" and much more open. I suggest going to several different meetings if they are available in your area.
Welcome to a sober life free of the anxiety from drinking!
My wife and I quit drinking two years ago. We found AA meetings to be very helpful--we both did "ninety meetings in ninety days" to give our sobriety a solid foundation. (In general, only large cities have meetings other than AA.) You may not need or be able to do such an intense program, but I think going to a few meetings and learning that help is out there is very beneficial.
AA is not supposed to be a religious program--it is spiritual, based on spiritual principles such as honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness. Meetings vary in their religious overtones--where I live, there is a meeting once a week that ends with the Lord's Prayer and is very rigid in format, while another meeting is "agnostic" and much more open. I suggest going to several different meetings if they are available in your area.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Hi Kiki,
Welcome, and good for you for recognizing the problem before it gets worse. Stopping is the solution because alcoholism is a progressive disease.
I'm not an AA person either, and you will find many different recovery methods here as you look around. You will also find lots of inspiration.
Welcome, and good for you for recognizing the problem before it gets worse. Stopping is the solution because alcoholism is a progressive disease.
I'm not an AA person either, and you will find many different recovery methods here as you look around. You will also find lots of inspiration.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,358
Welcome to SR, Kiki! My family tells me that I am not an alcoholic either. I know that drinking was hard for me to give up regardless of what the family thinks. I am learning how to finally live life on life's terms, not mine. It is wonderful to be sober.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Welcome, Kiki. I too live in North Dakota. My drinking habits were much like yours. I had my last drink 19 months ago. And while there were a few social adjustments to be made (like avoiding my really heavy drinker friends) I do most of the same things I did before I quit drinking. I just do them sober now. 99% of my friends, at least the ones that I care about, don't mind a bit that I have stopped drinking.
So, fear not. Spring is here. And it is a great time to get sober. Even here in North Dakota.
So, fear not. Spring is here. And it is a great time to get sober. Even here in North Dakota.
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