He's chosen a life of drugs and crime!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: bristol
Posts: 2
He's chosen a life of drugs and crime!
My partner and father to my 6th month old twins has finally lost his grasp on civilisation and has chosen to live his life on the streets stealing and drinking strong lager, smoking fag ends off the streets and injecting heroin. I'm.assuming he's stealing also to fund his habit.
My poor babies are now without a father and I have to do eveverything, it's so sad I don't have enough cuddles to go round all the time, I hate him for what he's done to us. I'm absolutely exhausted, emotionally, mentally and physically. All the lies, excuses, stories blah blah blah has pickled my head to the point where I feel ill in myself.... How can I find the strength to look after my babies??? He's been fighting his "illness" for nearly a year and has been collecting a script daily. He's got support all around him yet, why haven't the professional noticed something, he ruined their births in September, our first Christmas he ruined and now this! He's gone! Heroin has got a lot to answer for? Yet gain I'm left to deal with everything, pick up the pieces, put on a brave face and care for the twins. I feel so alone and isolated, I can't express to anyone the real goings on, I feel embarrassed and ashamed. Today he sent me a message saying he was going to die, and now won't pick up or return my texts. Such a cowardly drug. I really need to talk to someone but don't know where to start.... Perhaps this is a start? Thanks for reading.....
I hope I've put this in the correct place?!, just needed to write
My poor babies are now without a father and I have to do eveverything, it's so sad I don't have enough cuddles to go round all the time, I hate him for what he's done to us. I'm absolutely exhausted, emotionally, mentally and physically. All the lies, excuses, stories blah blah blah has pickled my head to the point where I feel ill in myself.... How can I find the strength to look after my babies??? He's been fighting his "illness" for nearly a year and has been collecting a script daily. He's got support all around him yet, why haven't the professional noticed something, he ruined their births in September, our first Christmas he ruined and now this! He's gone! Heroin has got a lot to answer for? Yet gain I'm left to deal with everything, pick up the pieces, put on a brave face and care for the twins. I feel so alone and isolated, I can't express to anyone the real goings on, I feel embarrassed and ashamed. Today he sent me a message saying he was going to die, and now won't pick up or return my texts. Such a cowardly drug. I really need to talk to someone but don't know where to start.... Perhaps this is a start? Thanks for reading.....
I hope I've put this in the correct place?!, just needed to write
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
This is a start! I am glad you reached out.
Please know that you didn't cause it, you can't cure it and you can't control it. This is his problem and whether he decides to do anything is up to him.
It is time to focus on you. I was left alone on Christmas too. It hurts and I can feel your pain and anger
You came to the right place! Everything is going to be okay. Take a deep breath.
Please know that you didn't cause it, you can't cure it and you can't control it. This is his problem and whether he decides to do anything is up to him.
It is time to focus on you. I was left alone on Christmas too. It hurts and I can feel your pain and anger
You came to the right place! Everything is going to be okay. Take a deep breath.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 91
There's a friends and family section on the forum that you might find helpful.
I'm sorry that you're going through such pain. If your partner is like me, he will not stop until he's in sufficient pain. Unfortunately for our loved ones, the pain tolerance of an active alcoholic/addict can appear limitless.
Take care of yourself and your children. Your partner either will or will not get it.
I'm sorry that you're going through such pain. If your partner is like me, he will not stop until he's in sufficient pain. Unfortunately for our loved ones, the pain tolerance of an active alcoholic/addict can appear limitless.
Take care of yourself and your children. Your partner either will or will not get it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: bristol
Posts: 2
Addiction is so selfish, we had everything going for us... I was told 15yrs ago I wouldn't conceive naturally then along popped the miracle babies. We were going to be a family not anymore. I need to rebuild a life on my own with them... It's so sad! Thank you for kind words, I'm heartbroken and devastated
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Mi
Posts: 1,318
I'm so sorry about your husband.
But, you need to take care of your twins & you.
Do you have family or friends you can count on?
One possibility he texted you was he was in withdrawals ( it literally feels like you are dying, withdrawing from this drug. ) And he may have gotten hold of it & is now content, therefore, no need to contact you.
Heroin is self centered, gutless & cruel ( makes no difference about the people you love, because heroin comes above all. ) I know, both my husband & I are addicts ( not using anymore. )
You would probably benefit from posting your story in the friends & family section, where the people there share your story.
This is a great site to come to for support! Welcome to SR!
But, you need to take care of your twins & you.
Do you have family or friends you can count on?
One possibility he texted you was he was in withdrawals ( it literally feels like you are dying, withdrawing from this drug. ) And he may have gotten hold of it & is now content, therefore, no need to contact you.
Heroin is self centered, gutless & cruel ( makes no difference about the people you love, because heroin comes above all. ) I know, both my husband & I are addicts ( not using anymore. )
You would probably benefit from posting your story in the friends & family section, where the people there share your story.
This is a great site to come to for support! Welcome to SR!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I've had the ruined birth, the first mothers day on my own, the ruined christmas.
I would say you need to look after yourself and your babies.
Thats it.
No-one else.
I went virtually no contact.
I found it hard, but it was easier to get on with my life.
I understand the pain and the hurt and the disappointment.
He is not worth it, believe me.
Build a safe and secure haven for you and your children.
Don't do anything other than look out for yourself.
Time will make the feelings feel less raw and less painful.
I honestly now would not have it any other way than it is with just me and my daughter.
We have our own routine. We do as we please. We love each other and thats all that matters.
Perhaps a trip to the GP might help you?
Do you have friends and family who can help?
Are you okay financially?
Are you getting whatever is owed to you in terms of support and benefits?
I remember some very hard days when my baby was tiny.
I went right back to basics.
I slept when she did. I tried my hardest to look after myself - eat well, reach out to friends to talk, not be alone too much, go for walks and get out out of the house.
You can choose and have a good life for you and your little one's.
I wish you the best xx
I would say you need to look after yourself and your babies.
Thats it.
No-one else.
I went virtually no contact.
I found it hard, but it was easier to get on with my life.
I understand the pain and the hurt and the disappointment.
He is not worth it, believe me.
Build a safe and secure haven for you and your children.
Don't do anything other than look out for yourself.
Time will make the feelings feel less raw and less painful.
I honestly now would not have it any other way than it is with just me and my daughter.
We have our own routine. We do as we please. We love each other and thats all that matters.
Perhaps a trip to the GP might help you?
Do you have friends and family who can help?
Are you okay financially?
Are you getting whatever is owed to you in terms of support and benefits?
I remember some very hard days when my baby was tiny.
I went right back to basics.
I slept when she did. I tried my hardest to look after myself - eat well, reach out to friends to talk, not be alone too much, go for walks and get out out of the house.
You can choose and have a good life for you and your little one's.
I wish you the best xx
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