Anticipating high risk
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,130
Anticipating high risk
So guys I recently started a thread identifying a high risk situation, a foreign trip I have coming up next week. Your feedback was amazing so thanks for all that. I have stayed sober since I posted on that.
So, here's what I've done so far to try to avoid catastrophe.
1. Told my addiction counsellor. His advice was to share it at every AA meeting until it gets boring. Share it to take the sting out of it, I think he said. So I've shared at three meetings since then.
2. Sharing about it here. Two observations. If i get drunk, it will not increase the pleasure or the excitement of the trip. Secondly, all the mornings will be wiped out with hangovers and what's the fun of that?
3. I found a good book on Amazon called the Relapse Prevention Workbook and I am working through it again. Actually this is the third copy of that book I have ordered. I should probably get a hundred copies and use them specifically to think through a high risk situation each time until the new way of behaving - i.e. sober - becomes completely second nature.
4. Told my sponsor. He told me to do the Steps. He's right of course.
5.Told my wife.
I think I can also give my wife the job of looking after our money and the credit and debit cards so that I am not at heightened risk.
What I WANT (or wanted) to do was to go off on my own, hit on some foreign girls, get wildly drunk and then return home to my hotel meet my wife and tell her I'm sorry and then just carry on as normal.
But the relapse prevention work i've done so far shows me that's totally ridiculous. It's like pretending that putting a bottle of wine down my neck before I go to work is a good idea. It will only precipitate a big disaster.
Anyway, it's still about ten days before I fly so there's still more work I can do at this end before I go there which should enable me to handle it well in a mature way and enjoy it to the full and keep my wife's love and respect.
So, here's what I've done so far to try to avoid catastrophe.
1. Told my addiction counsellor. His advice was to share it at every AA meeting until it gets boring. Share it to take the sting out of it, I think he said. So I've shared at three meetings since then.
2. Sharing about it here. Two observations. If i get drunk, it will not increase the pleasure or the excitement of the trip. Secondly, all the mornings will be wiped out with hangovers and what's the fun of that?
3. I found a good book on Amazon called the Relapse Prevention Workbook and I am working through it again. Actually this is the third copy of that book I have ordered. I should probably get a hundred copies and use them specifically to think through a high risk situation each time until the new way of behaving - i.e. sober - becomes completely second nature.
4. Told my sponsor. He told me to do the Steps. He's right of course.
5.Told my wife.
I think I can also give my wife the job of looking after our money and the credit and debit cards so that I am not at heightened risk.
What I WANT (or wanted) to do was to go off on my own, hit on some foreign girls, get wildly drunk and then return home to my hotel meet my wife and tell her I'm sorry and then just carry on as normal.
But the relapse prevention work i've done so far shows me that's totally ridiculous. It's like pretending that putting a bottle of wine down my neck before I go to work is a good idea. It will only precipitate a big disaster.
Anyway, it's still about ten days before I fly so there's still more work I can do at this end before I go there which should enable me to handle it well in a mature way and enjoy it to the full and keep my wife's love and respect.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 78
What I WANT (or wanted) to do was to go off on my own, hit on some foreign girls, get wildly drunk and then return home to my hotel meet my wife and tell her I'm sorry and then just carry on as normal.
As an objective opinion, I would look at your marriage situation if you find yourself in the position of wanting to hit on girls and use alcohol as a tool to help lower your inhibitions and/or forget what you do whilst under the influence.
I may be well of the mark of course, but it's just a part of your post that I was drawn to.
I hope you stay sober with the aid of the preventative steps you have taken, and that Japan is a wonderful experience for you
As an objective opinion, I would look at your marriage situation if you find yourself in the position of wanting to hit on girls and use alcohol as a tool to help lower your inhibitions and/or forget what you do whilst under the influence.
I may be well of the mark of course, but it's just a part of your post that I was drawn to.
I hope you stay sober with the aid of the preventative steps you have taken, and that Japan is a wonderful experience for you
Last edited by RunnerBean; 03-30-2015 at 07:40 AM. Reason: Typos
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 132
Hi EP! I read your other post about this and I'm really happy to see you working towards a plan to keep sober on your upcoming trip. As I said on your other post, I totally understand where you are coming from and I also understand that if this is your first sober trip (or first sober trip in a while) it might not be much fun. I know when I've "quit" before, I could get really effing cranky when I was in a situation where I really wanted to drink, but shouldn't. (had a bit of a breakdown one 4th of July a few years ago). Of course, taking the trip sober can be much MORE fun! And if it isn't this time? Oh well, make the best of it, get your work done and come home not feeling guilty. The choice to stay sober will get easier.
Again, I'm really happy to see you working out a game plan in advance. Also happy to see you have so much support to turn to during this time. Please share about the fun you get to enjoy (and remember!) when you return! I always wanted to go to Japan
Again, I'm really happy to see you working out a game plan in advance. Also happy to see you have so much support to turn to during this time. Please share about the fun you get to enjoy (and remember!) when you return! I always wanted to go to Japan
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