Goop1984

My 30 year old daughter won't admit she has a problem.

She has given me a beautiful grandson. He spends a lot of time with me because she is a single mom. She was taking classes, working and parenting. However; in the last few months, she hasn't taken any classes and there has been more alcohol bottles and cans in her trash.

Saturday morning at 5:00 am my phone rings and it's her name that comes up. I knew it had to be bad if I'm getting a call at 5:00.

It was a man that works at Lambo's gas station and knows her. He asked if I was her mom then proceeded to tell me she was there, drunk and passed out. He knows her and didn't want to get her in trouble by calling the cops. Not fully awake I told him I'd get dressed and come up there. After I got out of bed I decided it wasn't worth getting her son up at 5:00 am and get him out in the cold to go see her in this condition. So I called the police.

They went there, she was basically comatose, so they called an ambulance and took her to the hospital.

I had to call a friend for support. She came over and we went to the hospital. It's around 12:00 noon now. I went into ER and my friend kept my grandson in the lobby. There was nothing wrong with my daughter. She was just sleeping it off. They woke her up to go home with me. She didn't know how she got to the hospital. She only has a vague memory of being in the bar she was in that night. Nothing about being at the gas station or the ride in the ambulance. She was still drunk and stumbling at 1:00 when we left the hospital. I took her to her house and kept my grandson with me as she worked last night and today.

I know I need to make a call to child services. I'm having such a hard time with it. She's my daughter and I love her. I hate to do it to her. But I also know that my grandson can't left in that situation. I know she has been drinking at home. I just can't prove he's there when she does it.

I worry sick about him for fear she will pass out and something bad will happen. I don't think Casey Anthony meant to kill little Caylee. I think she just wanted to party. I realize that's a little extreme for an example, but it's not far from the truth.

I feel compelled to give my daughter an ultimatum. To tell her she needs to seek help and make those calls within 24/48 hours or I will call child services.

I realize that may not be the best strategy. I need to hear from you guys. I've posted on friends and family, but would like to hear the feedback from this thread too.

Give it to me! I need to hear it!

BernieE

You are right to get your grandchild out of a bad situation. Personally I would talk to a lawyer before calling legal authorities and see if I could get legal custody. It would break my heart to have my grandson in foster care and could cause a rift with my daughter that would not heal. But I don't know your situation. My heart goes out to all of you.

ReadyAtLast

You are right in putting your grandson's needs first. However, would you be able to care for him full time rather than him go into care? I agree seeing a lawyer and seeing if this is an option. I have no idea if they would get child services involved anyway. I'm sorry you are going through this but you're right to do something if your grandchild is in danger

FreeOwl

If I were in your shoes I would get an attorney and petition the court for custody. Involving CPS will initiate a series of events beyond your control that may well see your grandson a ward of the court.

OnMyWay7

Definitely get a lawyer first and get everything documented.

Soberwolf

Sorry this is happening Goop

Goop1984

Thank you everyone!

headcase1

How sad it's not the person with the problem asking for help. Someone will have to try to convince her to seek treatment before she ends up in a bad place.

JT0626

OMG, how heart breaking. I say that because I was your daughter to a degree. I drank myself into oblivion every night after my daughter went to bed. My family had no idea that I drank that much, but it was still dangerous because I was not lucid in the case of an emergency.

I would suggest talking to a family law lawyer first to understand your rights, your daughter's rights, & your grandson's rights. Is his father in the picture at all? If he is, would he be able to take care of your grandson? After visiting with the lawyer, I would then have a come to Jesus talk with your daughter. She needs help, try to help first before involving the law....but if it comes down to it - do what you have to do to protect your grandson.

Big hugs to you.....that is an awful spot to be in. That's what made me quit, because if I didn't get myself under control I know I could lose my daughter.

rednails

This is very sad and I agree with others that say you should contact an attorney before contacting CPS.

Nowsthetime

I just want to add that YOU aren't doing this to your daughter. She is doing it to herself with her actions. I am proud of you for not enabling her. Good for you. This is a tough situation but you are doing the right thing putting you grandson first.

Ruby2

Ditto on consulting an attorney to see if you can take custody, if you can. Your grandson isn't in a safe situation. I too drank when my kids were in bed and wasn't present in case something happened.

I think it's great that you called to have your daughter taken to the hospital. That took strength.

Your grandson needs love and stability in his life. If you can provide that, that is great. Your daughter will hopefully find her way.