Sad.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 314
Sad.
Gosh I feel sad today.
I really miss my husband and am so sad to think of him so sick. I can't even imagine what he looks like or how he is living. I shudder to think. It hurts so much to think about someone that you care about treating themselves so badly.
I think the fact that my daughter's first birthday party is coming up in a month has something to do with my sadness today... I sent out the invite today, I thought about not having it, but of course I want to celebrate it for her.
Obviously he is drinking so I guess he won't be there. I haven't heard from him in three weeks now anyway.
I just feel sad. For me. For my baby. I hate throwing myself a pity party but I guess that's just how I am right now.
My parents will be here for the party and that's when I (with their help) will clean the house up ready to be sold so I can move back closer to them and get on with my life. I never wanted this,
It sucks.
Thanks for listening.
I really miss my husband and am so sad to think of him so sick. I can't even imagine what he looks like or how he is living. I shudder to think. It hurts so much to think about someone that you care about treating themselves so badly.
I think the fact that my daughter's first birthday party is coming up in a month has something to do with my sadness today... I sent out the invite today, I thought about not having it, but of course I want to celebrate it for her.
Obviously he is drinking so I guess he won't be there. I haven't heard from him in three weeks now anyway.
I just feel sad. For me. For my baby. I hate throwing myself a pity party but I guess that's just how I am right now.
My parents will be here for the party and that's when I (with their help) will clean the house up ready to be sold so I can move back closer to them and get on with my life. I never wanted this,
It sucks.
Thanks for listening.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
maybear....you are entitled to your feelings. I imagine that you are having a myriad of feelings during this very difficult time.
Actually..I have never liked that popular term: "pity party". I consider it just as important to give compassion to ourselves as it is to another person. If that looks to the outside world like self-pity--so what. I just call it self-compassion.
LOL!..who among us has not had the acute need for a little self-compassion once in a while?
dandylion
Actually..I have never liked that popular term: "pity party". I consider it just as important to give compassion to ourselves as it is to another person. If that looks to the outside world like self-pity--so what. I just call it self-compassion.
LOL!..who among us has not had the acute need for a little self-compassion once in a while?
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Hello Maybear!
Almost 1! Think of all the growth you have made with this little one in your life. I think it is OK to look back and assess what went down and how you are going to keep moving forward.
Hugs!
Almost 1! Think of all the growth you have made with this little one in your life. I think it is OK to look back and assess what went down and how you are going to keep moving forward.
Hugs!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 46
Maybear your story brought a tear to my eye
I just wanted to say a prayer for you and your little one
It's really hard
I'm new here and my ex husbands whole family had alcoholism and were also very violent I was beaten many times including while pregnant head butted and punched in my face many times.
I used to lock him out and lost count of the times he broke the glass in the front door till eventually he raped me and my face was black with bruises I got the police for the umpteen time only this time I went to court to keep him away from me!
I finally got rid of him when our kids were aged 1 and a half and 2 and a half.
He was a bad man who did untold damage to others after me
My kids are grown up now and happier trust me you would not want an alcoholic in your child's life
Your child would end up emotionally damaged
Look after your child and yourself
Be careful that you attract healthy partners and work on yourself
It took me years to realise I have codepency tend abacus
God bless
I just wanted to say a prayer for you and your little one
It's really hard
I'm new here and my ex husbands whole family had alcoholism and were also very violent I was beaten many times including while pregnant head butted and punched in my face many times.
I used to lock him out and lost count of the times he broke the glass in the front door till eventually he raped me and my face was black with bruises I got the police for the umpteen time only this time I went to court to keep him away from me!
I finally got rid of him when our kids were aged 1 and a half and 2 and a half.
He was a bad man who did untold damage to others after me
My kids are grown up now and happier trust me you would not want an alcoholic in your child's life
Your child would end up emotionally damaged
Look after your child and yourself
Be careful that you attract healthy partners and work on yourself
It took me years to realise I have codepency tend abacus
God bless
Last edited by eyeoftheholder; 03-29-2015 at 05:24 AM. Reason: Posted twice plse delete
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 46
Maybear your story brought a tear to my eye
I just wanted to say a prayer for you and your little one
It's really hard
I'm new here and my ex husbands whole family had alcoholism and were also very violent I was beaten many times including while pregnant head butted and punched in my face many times.
I used to lock him out and lost count of the times he broke the glass in the front door till eventually he raped me and my face was black with bruises I got the police for the umpteen time only this time I went to court to keep him away from me!
I finally got rid of him when our kids were aged 1 and a half and 2 and a half.
He was a bad man who did untold damage to others after me
My kids are grown up now and happier trust me you would not want an alcoholic in your child's life
Your child would end up emotionally damaged
Look after your child and yourself
Be careful that you attract healthy partners and work on yourself
It took me years to realise I have codepency tendancies
God bless
I just wanted to say a prayer for you and your little one
It's really hard
I'm new here and my ex husbands whole family had alcoholism and were also very violent I was beaten many times including while pregnant head butted and punched in my face many times.
I used to lock him out and lost count of the times he broke the glass in the front door till eventually he raped me and my face was black with bruises I got the police for the umpteen time only this time I went to court to keep him away from me!
I finally got rid of him when our kids were aged 1 and a half and 2 and a half.
He was a bad man who did untold damage to others after me
My kids are grown up now and happier trust me you would not want an alcoholic in your child's life
Your child would end up emotionally damaged
Look after your child and yourself
Be careful that you attract healthy partners and work on yourself
It took me years to realise I have codepency tendancies
God bless
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: South Central USA
Posts: 1,478
Awww...the first birthday!! The good news is that you can celebrate w/o a drunk disrupting the party. Instead, you're being such a good mother by protecting your little innocent. It will be a beautiful party with your family, so take lots of pictures and eat lots of cake! Your sadness will become less and less, promise, but until then allow yourself the time and space to feel. Hugs...you're doing well!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Maybear, it's ok to still worry about your stbx. We can still love them, they just can't be active in our lives.
I work at a church and I asked the priest if I could put my xah on the list to be prayed for. She rolled her eyes but I meant it. I do pray he stays safe and doesn't kill himself or anyone else when he is drinking and driving.
It is hard not to be a codie, I work everyday at it. I will always have a place in my heart for my x. I will always love him, and that is OK with me. He is no longer causing me pain.
I work at a church and I asked the priest if I could put my xah on the list to be prayed for. She rolled her eyes but I meant it. I do pray he stays safe and doesn't kill himself or anyone else when he is drinking and driving.
It is hard not to be a codie, I work everyday at it. I will always have a place in my heart for my x. I will always love him, and that is OK with me. He is no longer causing me pain.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
(((maybear))). Hugs to you and your precious daughter. So sorry you are experiencing this. It's really sad that your husband is so caught up in his disease that he will miss this amazing time in your daughter's life. Glad your parents will be there to help you celebrate and prep your home to sell.
Sending strength your way. Take care.
Sending strength your way. Take care.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
It would be unnatural for you not to feel sorry for him. Alcoholism is a horrible condition and he seems to be going through a very bad stage. I hope he gets it out of his system and makes a determined try at sobriety. The fact that he hasn't contacted you yet makes me think there's more to play out.
Do you need to contact him and get his sign off on selling the house and winding up your joint affairs? If so how do you feel about that?
Do you need to contact him and get his sign off on selling the house and winding up your joint affairs? If so how do you feel about that?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 314
I don't think he would contact me while still drinking, I made it pretty clear before he left that I won't be around it or have our daughter around it. So I guess if he is not wanting to stop, there wouldn't be any point talking. Anyway, the no contact thing is typically his style. Don't know if that's an alcoholic thing or a him thing.
The house is in my name thank goodness. I bought it with my deposit but I offered for it to be in both of our names but he didn't want his name on the mortgage as he is scared of responsibility.
I suppose that's a good thing now although I doubt he would bother going after it or anything, he's not that type.
The house is in my name thank goodness. I bought it with my deposit but I offered for it to be in both of our names but he didn't want his name on the mortgage as he is scared of responsibility.
I suppose that's a good thing now although I doubt he would bother going after it or anything, he's not that type.
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