Discovery
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Discovery
Not self-discovery, but the legal kind. Got the discovery request from my ex's lawyer. They're asking for, among other things, "a copy of any diary, daily journal or daily log" which I have kept since the date of filing the custody petition (Dec 16 2014).
Is that normal? It seems invasive and unnecessary, which I guess is probably the point. It's upsetting and makes me not want to hand them over on general principles.
On the other hand, looking over my journal entries since that date has made me realize how mundane my life is. If they're hoping for some big revelation about my character, it's that my kids and my writing are a priority in my life, I go to work, take care of my kids, write and for some reason feel the need to record what kind of tea I drink every morning.
The worst things in there are my anger at my ex over this whole debacle, one night I drank some wine and woke up with a headache and some racy dreams about the cast of True Blood.
Honestly it paints them in a worse light than it does me, because I record how often my ex sounds drunk when he talks to our son and all their other myriad craziness. Plus it's going to mean a ton of billable hours for their lawyer (or whoever he fobs it off on) to pore over hundreds of handwritten pages about whether I drank Earl Grey or Constant Comment that morning.
They're also fixated on my job, work schedule, how many hours I work and why it's less than 35 a week. Coming from two people who are chronically unemployed that just seems bizarre.
More will be revealed I guess, probably more than my ex and his lawyer ever wanted, given everything they're trying to get out of me.
Is that normal? It seems invasive and unnecessary, which I guess is probably the point. It's upsetting and makes me not want to hand them over on general principles.
On the other hand, looking over my journal entries since that date has made me realize how mundane my life is. If they're hoping for some big revelation about my character, it's that my kids and my writing are a priority in my life, I go to work, take care of my kids, write and for some reason feel the need to record what kind of tea I drink every morning.
The worst things in there are my anger at my ex over this whole debacle, one night I drank some wine and woke up with a headache and some racy dreams about the cast of True Blood.
Honestly it paints them in a worse light than it does me, because I record how often my ex sounds drunk when he talks to our son and all their other myriad craziness. Plus it's going to mean a ton of billable hours for their lawyer (or whoever he fobs it off on) to pore over hundreds of handwritten pages about whether I drank Earl Grey or Constant Comment that morning.
They're also fixated on my job, work schedule, how many hours I work and why it's less than 35 a week. Coming from two people who are chronically unemployed that just seems bizarre.
More will be revealed I guess, probably more than my ex and his lawyer ever wanted, given everything they're trying to get out of me.
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How are they able to pay this lawyer, I wonder? I certainly wouldn't want to hand over a diary without a ruling from the court requiring it.
Generally speaking, discovery has to be confined to information that is admissible evidence or reasonably believed to lead to admissible evidence. I'd say this request is overbroad, burdensome, and an invasion of privacy.
Can you afford to pay a lawyer for an hour or two of his/her time to figure out how to limit this request?
Generally speaking, discovery has to be confined to information that is admissible evidence or reasonably believed to lead to admissible evidence. I'd say this request is overbroad, burdensome, and an invasion of privacy.
Can you afford to pay a lawyer for an hour or two of his/her time to figure out how to limit this request?
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I have a legal aid lawyer representing me. He forwarded their discovery questionnaire to me. I think he was surprised about it because he said, "Well, if they're going to send us something I guess we'll send something to them." Then he gave this kind of Machiavellian chuckle. He's normally really mild-mannered, so I was surprised.
I think the wife is sponsoring all of this. Apparently it's kind of her MO to harass people this way via the legal system. But since they're paying for all of this out of their own pockets and I'm not, I think they're going to run out of steam before too long.
I think the wife is sponsoring all of this. Apparently it's kind of her MO to harass people this way via the legal system. But since they're paying for all of this out of their own pockets and I'm not, I think they're going to run out of steam before too long.
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No idea. To harass me and wear me out until I just give them what they want? Unsupervised visitation? Revenge? Drama? All of the above?
He's a late stage alcoholic and I suspect she suffers from some kind of personality disorder, so I doubt they actually know the answer to that. I'm positive they don't have my son's best interests in mind, and that's all I really need to know.
He's a late stage alcoholic and I suspect she suffers from some kind of personality disorder, so I doubt they actually know the answer to that. I'm positive they don't have my son's best interests in mind, and that's all I really need to know.
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OK, good, you've got your own mouthpiece. It's odd, though, that you don't know what they are seeking. That's generally in the complaint--the very first document filed. It has to say what relief they are seeking. Or if this is a post-judgment motion, the notice of motion should say what they are moving for.
I'd ask the lawyer to explain that, if I were you.
I'd ask the lawyer to explain that, if I were you.
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Nothing more to add really but yep it sounds like a lot of hot air to me.
Give them the facts of what is requested but not every last detail perhaps.
Good advice above from those far more in the know than me.
All the best Phiz
Give them the facts of what is requested but not every last detail perhaps.
Good advice above from those far more in the know than me.
All the best Phiz
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Originally Posted by LexieCat 
OK, good, you've got your own mouthpiece. It's odd, though, that you don't know what they are seeking. That's generally in the complaint--the very first document filed. It has to say what relief they are seeking. Or if this is a post-judgment motion, the notice of motion should say what they are moving for.
I'd ask the lawyer to explain that, if I were you.
I'd ask the lawyer to explain that, if I were you.
Initially they agreed to that but were asking that the wife supervise the visits instead of his parents- this from emails back and forth between our lawyers, nothing in writing.
Now I have no idea what they're actually after. This whole thing just came out of nowhere. I just received the paperwork today, and my lawyer told me to call him once I got it, so I'll be checking on this stuff Monday.
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