Lance40

I went to an AA meeting yesterday after a break from not going. I went with my sponsor and felt a bit hostile and forced, but it was just what I needed because during the meeting I realized I had been slipping into complacency with my attitude toward sobriety. The meeting gave me a real attitude adjustment, and something impressed me that I want to share here.

Several people talked about how it gets harder and harder to come back with each relapse. One person mentioned that the first time you become sober it's a gift and after each relapse it just becomes more and more difficult to gather your resolve and to do the work. The common theme seems to be that people think they don't have a problem because it's been going so well or that now they've gotten it out of their system so they can drink again. Some of these people had amassed several years of sobriety, so time is no cure.

I guess what really hit home for me and the encouragement I want to leave here for myself and all of us is that we have the willingness and humility to really listen and accept the words of people who have gone through these experiences and not to let our minds convince us that we are somehow different and that we can become complacent or less vigilant over time and most of all that we can't go out and drink again. It won't turn out well, and the stakes are too high. If we fail and risk even one drink there is no guarantee that we will make it back.

FreeOwl

Yes

MIRecovery

I have seen too many who didn't take sobriety seriously and unfortunately they are dead.

We simply do not know when we have used our last relapse and there is no coming back.

I do know it is easier to stay sober than it is to get sober. So I do what I need to do on a daily basis to maintain my recovery

FreeOwl

The other thing is this; alcohol never gave me anything worth risking my life for.

It never gave me anywhere near the gratitude I have for life without it.

It never paid off in any meaningful way.

What the hell would be the point of taking a chance on it ever doing so in the future?

How stupid, really, could I get???

Venecia

Good post, Lance.

There's a good thread in the Alcoholism forum on this topic, too.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...u-relapse.html

MissDaisy

Thanks for sharing! I'm 27 days sober and this is my first go around. I've been going to AA Meetings daily and hearing the relapse stories frighten me. I'm only 35 so I know that I have many years ahead of me and I pray I never become complacent enough to think I can start drinking again and control it. I've exited before I reached the bottom floor and I do not want to see what may be waiting for me down there.

When I first started going to meetings I did think that some of these people had lost so much more than me, so many of these stories of hitting a true rock bottom. I would think I'm not that bad...but then I realized that I am an alcoholic and so are these people, does it really matter which bottom we hit? No, it doesn't. I can't have 1 drink and neither can they. I really don't need to test that and find out what my true rock bottom is.

Gottalife

Thanks Lance.
One of the truisms in the alcoholic world is that you can't frighten someone into sobriety. Perhaps a scary story might prompt someone to take some much needed action, but that's about the best you can hope for. Scary stories in themselves do not keep alcoholics of my type sober because they vanish from the mind when a drink is on the way. I didn't even remember my own scary stories, much less anyone else's. ISM incredibly short memory, the big book talks about it a lot.

We never know if we can get back from a relapse. It's like Russian roulette, you don't know which is the loaded drink. Results of relapse defy logic at times. My friend Zac, very nice man sober 10 years, regular at meetings, secretary of the group, drank. As I was driving to see him I thought " he'll be ok. All that AA experience, we'll just. Ok him into detox and all will be well".

I couldn't have been more wrong. It was like Zac had never been to AA. The last time I saw him he was surrounded by his AA friends, all doing their best to help him. He was beyond human aid alas. He was dead in three months.

Lesson for me was that I am beyond human aid too. I need to work those steps and get a working relationship with a power greater than myself if I plan to stay sober for good. Those well meaning AAs that went to Zacs assistance and failed, could be no more successful with me.

Leshar

Thoughtful post, thank you.

MelindaFlowers

Thank you for this wonderful post. I finally understand what they mean by it's easy to get sober bit harder to stay sober. It's not staying home and not buying that bottle of vodka the first night you decide to stop drinking. It's turning down that glass of champagne that's happily offered to you at a party two years down the line, during a glorious thunderstorm, on a cruise ship, in Tahiti, at your best friend's wedding, which is on New Year's Eve.

marcusflowers

Thanks lance. I am taking your post to heart. i don't ever want to become complacent with my sobriety. It feels great to be sober. I want to stay this way.

Ruby2

This is a great post Lance. And MissDaisy, awesome comment. Our bottoms may be different but it all starts with picking up that first drink.

Alynn

Great post! Thank you!

Soberwolf

Great post Lance

PurpleKnight

Great post Lance!!

Frixion

Thank you so much for this post Lance. Last night I was starting to become complacent with my sobriety.... badly, and it's because of post like these that reminded me to be strong!

CelticZebra

Relapse were a part of my life for years. I don't do relapse anymore, I'm all or nothing.
I chose all instead of nothing at the bottom of the glass.... Education helps me.
Relapse is such a scary thing that I don't believe in it anymore.
I don't drink Alcohol. I will never drink alcohol I will never relapse because I never drink any alcohol, ever.

Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself

kzaug2014

Wow! Great post, Lance! Ty!