TroyW

Well, back to my old ways. It's such a catch-22 for me. I've been self-employed for the past 13 years since I was 20, which is when I started abusing my alcoholism. I've pretty much always been an alcoholic though, but that's not really a surprise to me. I think I was 10 the first time I got drunk. The 17yo girls at our constant house parties thought it was cute to have a 10yo sit on their lap and sip beer, while they played 21 for drinks. Plus my mom is an alcoholic as well, so it just kinda went from there. Whatcha gonna do?

Anyway, started really abusing it when I began working from home, so it's a 13 year habit I'm trying to break. I know if I sit behind the computer to work, I'm going to drink, but I have to sit behind the computer, because work needs to get done, and bills need to get paid. I have to take care of my clients, especially considering how much they pay me. Not to mention, I don't even have grade 10, let alone a high school diploma, so aside from this, I'm qualified to stock shelves at Walmart, and I'm quite confident Walmart doesn't pay $100/hour under the table.

This was fine with me, until the last year when I started getting sick. And now, the frequency and length of the sick periods just keeps increasing. Before it was once every couple months my body would shut down, and it'd take me a couple days to recover. Now, it's every few weeks, and it takes me 5 - 7 days to recover.

I know to break this addiction I need a good amount of time away from the computer, but how do I do that? Work needs to get done, and the world isn't going to wait for me. My one saving grace is, I just hired two new guys, they've completed training, and I'm about to get them started on projects. If things go well, I'll be able to take an extended vacation in the next couple months. That, and my other saving grace is I do have a nice little nest egg here, which would let me live for the next 12 months without working. So I could close shop, but that's easier said than done.

I don't know... just ranting I guess. I'll go back to work.

doggonecarl

Then you know it's not sitting behind a computer that is making you drink. It's alcoholism. If you are back to drinking, then the enviroment, your computer, is a handy justification. If you are alcoholic, as you say, then you'd drink behind a computer, a cash register, a plow. It's what we do.

Sobriety depends on learning to cope with the things that "make" us drink. And recovery does that. Hope you give it a try again.

Soberwolf

Acceptance is key troy

LBrain

It ain't the computer you need time away from my friend.

Blaming it on the computer is pretty cool though. Original I must say.

Maybe take a step back and think about it. I realize you spend quite a bit of time on the keyboard and just as much time drinking. They have become synonymous with one another.
You need to find a way to separate the two activities. Make them independent of each other. Then eliminate the drinking.

But please don't blame your drinking on your computer. It has no way to defend itself from such absurd accusations.

Crasfd

You need to learn to manage you AV when working on the computer. It's not the computer at all, it's you.. You're blaming the computer and not yourself.
Let's say you go away for a few weeks and get dry, like you are planning to do.. What's going to happen when you return to your desk?
I wish you the best of luck. You're in the right place.

Dee74

I got sober in the same house I got drunk in, doing the same job, using the same PC.

like Carl said, it's not the computer making you drink.

It's possible to change - it may not always be easy in the first few weeks, but it's possible.

Don't let yourself make excuses for not moving forward with this.

D

PurpleKnight

For me I had to realise that I couldn't pause life, instead life had to continue and i had to find a way of making Sobriety work in amongst life, whether it be work, stress etc etc.

There is never going to be a right time to quit, we just need to get on with it, change up our routines/habits and be Sober, my work life is no different since when I drank, I still get stressed, I still have to deal with people, I still drive home past the liquor store I would stop at many times a week, the only difference is I now don't stop!!

You can make it work without alcohol!!

LexieCat

I was a big drinker-at-the-computer, too, and today I keep a cup of coffee or a glass of iced tea right where the scotch used to sit. I still do the constant sipping all day, but minus the booze.

It CAN be done. I work all day at the computer and I don't miss the scotch.

silentrun

I have to call BS on that one too Troy. I got better sitting in the same chair staring at the same computer I used to drink a pint of whiskey a night with.