the forbidden apple
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
the forbidden apple
Happy Saturday my Sr friends:
So mostly everyday I come to SR to read and to help me disengage from my xah. ( i kind of like to refer to my relationship with him as adam and eves poisonous apple, he's beautiful, but I can't have it) The last couple of months have been no contact but a few "sad" texts from him. Yesterday I had to meet up to "share" custody of the dog, because dd22 told me dad would like to see the dog.
So I get a call in the afternoon from him, i was thinking he was setting up a time to meet. He is angry about something from his work, asking if I remember something. You can hear it in his voice hes pissed. I tell him no, but I will look and see if I can find the answer.
So I look for the paper work, find it but since I am meeting up I chose not to call and give him the info. (old codie me would have gone home immedidiately, researched it, called him an figured out how to fix it.)
He text that he should be here around 7 ish. (Codie asks) did u want me to meet you somewhere And I mentioned half way, he says no. So I am assuming he is already in town at a bar. Then he goes, where in town do u want to meet, of course I mention parking lot of brewery where he spends a ton of time at. not a good answer. He says No I am not going to the brewery and he would meet me at the park one building away from my town home.
I meet up with him and see his rage and anger. I am trying to explain the dogs new meds, he is not understanding me. I could feel me breathing heavy and so intimidated by him. He asks about the work stuff, i tell him I found what he was looking for but they were right, he's wrong. You could just see the rage and anger, that I so do not miss. He and my old boss have that intimidating, controlling, threatening look that I am recognizing now, and feel threatened by.
So everytime i think about getting back together with the "love of my life" and what a great guy he is I want to remember my heavy breathing, my heart racing trying to please him and that whole experience, as I had way more of those nights, then the love of my life nights. This was my world, not the dream world of what I thought I Lost.
So just like in the A forum, they say to write down the horrible morning after feeling so u remember why u don't drink And choose to abstain. We dont always remember the horrible after story of why I am no longer married to an active alcoholic, drug addict and Verbally abusive angry man.
PEACE MY FRIENDS!!
So mostly everyday I come to SR to read and to help me disengage from my xah. ( i kind of like to refer to my relationship with him as adam and eves poisonous apple, he's beautiful, but I can't have it) The last couple of months have been no contact but a few "sad" texts from him. Yesterday I had to meet up to "share" custody of the dog, because dd22 told me dad would like to see the dog.
So I get a call in the afternoon from him, i was thinking he was setting up a time to meet. He is angry about something from his work, asking if I remember something. You can hear it in his voice hes pissed. I tell him no, but I will look and see if I can find the answer.
So I look for the paper work, find it but since I am meeting up I chose not to call and give him the info. (old codie me would have gone home immedidiately, researched it, called him an figured out how to fix it.)
He text that he should be here around 7 ish. (Codie asks) did u want me to meet you somewhere And I mentioned half way, he says no. So I am assuming he is already in town at a bar. Then he goes, where in town do u want to meet, of course I mention parking lot of brewery where he spends a ton of time at. not a good answer. He says No I am not going to the brewery and he would meet me at the park one building away from my town home.
I meet up with him and see his rage and anger. I am trying to explain the dogs new meds, he is not understanding me. I could feel me breathing heavy and so intimidated by him. He asks about the work stuff, i tell him I found what he was looking for but they were right, he's wrong. You could just see the rage and anger, that I so do not miss. He and my old boss have that intimidating, controlling, threatening look that I am recognizing now, and feel threatened by.
So everytime i think about getting back together with the "love of my life" and what a great guy he is I want to remember my heavy breathing, my heart racing trying to please him and that whole experience, as I had way more of those nights, then the love of my life nights. This was my world, not the dream world of what I thought I Lost.
So just like in the A forum, they say to write down the horrible morning after feeling so u remember why u don't drink And choose to abstain. We dont always remember the horrible after story of why I am no longer married to an active alcoholic, drug addict and Verbally abusive angry man.
PEACE MY FRIENDS!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 665
Maia, wow what an awful reminder. I agree, we forget.
Thanks for sharing it here. It smacked me right in the face, my abusive ex used 'visiting with our joint dog' as an excuse too. At the time I was in such a fog I didn't see it for what it was. More manipulation. Glad to now have clear vision.
Thanks for sharing it here. It smacked me right in the face, my abusive ex used 'visiting with our joint dog' as an excuse too. At the time I was in such a fog I didn't see it for what it was. More manipulation. Glad to now have clear vision.
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