Really feel like hitting it hard tonight...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
Really feel like hitting it hard tonight...
I had a long venting paragraph but deleted it all. Just so freaking annoyed and agitated about a lot of things my wife says! She can be very supportive at times then other times brings stuff up that I can't change. What is the point of bringing sh*t up for if I can't go back and change anything!?! Sometimes I wonder what is the point of trying? I really honestly do!
I'm 31 days in...and haven't felt the urge as bad as I do now. URRGH!
I'm 31 days in...and haven't felt the urge as bad as I do now. URRGH!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
You are right. We cannot change the past. And we cannot expect others to forget the past. What we CAN do is to make today count. Today is tomorrow's past. And if we live each day with no regrets - we do not wrong anyone or ourselves - then our past eventually becomes a good memory.
Best I can offer. Perhaps discuss this with your partner and make a plan to erase the past by replacing it with a "new" past.
Day 35?
Best I can offer. Perhaps discuss this with your partner and make a plan to erase the past by replacing it with a "new" past.
Day 35?
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Indiana
Posts: 503
As our family therapist says when my son complains about me and how I come back to past behaviors:
It's ALL about you, the alcoholic...day in, day out. YOU are getting all the attention, all the help, everything is happening with you in mind. The people around you are expected to support you in your recovery, but they feel resentment. Their lives are out on hold and they don't have the support they need. In many cases, they can't even tell their friends or relatives about the situation. They suffer greatly because of your behavior, so you need to be sensitive of their feelings and acknowledge that sometimes the resentment will build and they will bring up the past.
It's ALL about you, the alcoholic...day in, day out. YOU are getting all the attention, all the help, everything is happening with you in mind. The people around you are expected to support you in your recovery, but they feel resentment. Their lives are out on hold and they don't have the support they need. In many cases, they can't even tell their friends or relatives about the situation. They suffer greatly because of your behavior, so you need to be sensitive of their feelings and acknowledge that sometimes the resentment will build and they will bring up the past.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
Originally Posted by INgal 
As our family therapist says when my son complains about me and how I come back to past behaviors:
It's ALL about you, the alcoholic...day in, day out. YOU are getting all the attention, all the help, everything is happening with you in mind. The people around you are expected to support you in your recovery, but they feel resentment. Their lives are out on hold and they don't have the support they need. In many cases, they can't even tell their friends or relatives about the situation. They suffer greatly because of your behavior, so you need to be sensitive of their feelings and acknowledge that sometimes the resentment will build and they will bring up the past.
It's ALL about you, the alcoholic...day in, day out. YOU are getting all the attention, all the help, everything is happening with you in mind. The people around you are expected to support you in your recovery, but they feel resentment. Their lives are out on hold and they don't have the support they need. In many cases, they can't even tell their friends or relatives about the situation. They suffer greatly because of your behavior, so you need to be sensitive of their feelings and acknowledge that sometimes the resentment will build and they will bring up the past.
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