Health Questions

Old 03-26-2015, 03:27 PM
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Health Questions

i am divorced for a year from my AX. he was basically a good person. i am still not sure wtf happened to our marriage, but after a hellish 2013 where his drinking got worse, he found some hoodrat who sympathized (and enabled) with him, i kicked him out and he moved in with her. And she wouldnt give him a second to think for himself. anyways, i divorced him and we havent seen or heard from him since fathers day.

i was wondering about his health and the effects drinking heavily has. i know just about almost nothing about alcoholism, which was one of our main issues. when he started staying out all night drinking, i got offended and suspected he was cheating instead of drinking (and i guess he finally did). i didnt handle it well, on top of grieving for my daughters death, i wonder if it was all my fault......BUT i am good where i am at (except for missing him and being abandoned)....

anyway, he has always drank heavily. but for the first 10 years of our marriage, he seemed to function really good and seemed to be at least TRYING to keep a hold of it. of course he still got 2 DWI in those years plus another one in the last 4. (yep 3 total so far) anyhow his drinking got really bad the last 4 years. he was mostly a binge drinker on weekends. he could drink a case or two cases, rarely hard liquor cuz it made him sick (but still did it more then i would like) just on Friday, Saturday and sometimes Sunday. he would sometimes (rarely) go a whole week without drinking but usually had 3 to 6 drinks a night.

he drank that way all of 2013 progressively getting worse by the end of the year. i really havent seen much of him in 2014 or 2015, but i have heard that he has been drinking even more heavily to the point of blacking out on occasions. i believe he recently got a job so he might have slowed down a little but i am still thinking he is drinking 3-6 beers a night and probably a case or so on the weekends.

my question (finally, sorry) is if he drinks like this, how long will his health hold up. how long before he starts getting sick from it and exactly what does drinking do. all i know is it is bad for your liver.

can someone help me with this? my apologizes if it is a duplicate question or if i posted in the wrong place.
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Old 03-26-2015, 06:05 PM
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Hi MrsVain,

I don't have many answers, but there is a thread on the alcoholism forum that explains some of it.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

I hope others will have more information for you.
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Old 03-27-2015, 01:21 PM
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thank you
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Old 03-29-2015, 04:43 AM
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Hello MrsVain;

I'm so sorry for what brings you here, but you have found a great place for support!

My stepson is an alcoholic and crack addict (well, he'll take anything, really).

When he was hospitalized for detox the first time, the doctors gave him a 50/50 shot to live from a few things, the withdrawal itself (DT's are horrible if you have never had the 'pleasure' of witnessing someone going through them); jaundice (his face and his eyes were the color of Grey Poupon mustard); and alcoholic hepatitis. That particular hospital stay included 1 liter of ascites removed from his abdominal cavity. He was later readmitted for a raging MRSA infection in one of his legs.

Sadly, he continues his drinking career.

I hope that your ex will decide to finally turn his life around. I hope the same for my stepson.

How are YOU doing today MrsVain?
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Old 03-30-2015, 10:20 AM
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Hello Seren

i guess i am doing alright. i am strong. i do what i have to do, i dont know any other way. my little family is well. the boys are doing really good. last night the youngest talked about his dad but he is not asking me to talk to him, he has stopped asking to see him. he doesnt talk about him too much anymore. it still hurts me when he does. i just answer him if he asks a question. i just say really, if he is just talking.

i dont think i will ever understand how XAH could do the things he did or why. sometimes i find some missing puzzle pieces but there are still many missing pieces. it just doesnt make sense. i am slowly healing and dealing with my insecurities whether i want to or not. life goes on. finding this site was super helpful. some of the craziness i was dealing with for the last 14 years is making more sense. it doesnt change anything thou but at least i can say "ah ha, THAT is why he _________"

i still think it is super sad. he choice to walk away and abandon a loving (not perfect but good) wife and wonderful adoring trusting children. today, i am in a "It Just Doesnt Matter" mood. everything i did for him the past 14 years,,,,just doesnt matter to him. anything he could say or do.....just doesnt matter. the reasons he did what he did.....just doesnt matter. Those days are coming more and more. i still have my bad days where i cry (not in front of the boys) and feel badly that he is so happy with the desperate, evil, homewrecker who would not honor her own vows and children AND yet seems to be perfectly happy and content with MY xhusband.

i dont think i would care if he was to move on with someone else but it kills me that he is moving on WITH HER!!!! i have never hated someone so much in my life as i do THAT woman. of course a lot has to do with her actions and disrespect to me AFTER i found out about her.

thank you for asking about me.
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Old 03-30-2015, 01:53 PM
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MrsVain

Don't hesitate to come here and ventilate any time. I don't blame you one bit for being angry. My ex husband cheated on me, and divorced me...it really is the most intimate form of betrayal possible, and then to be treated horribly by someone who apparently has not morals is just the last straw, really.

Do you have any form of support in your life? Do you have a counselor or church group? Sometimes face-to-face support is invaluable.
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