Kafkaesque

Hi Everyone,

I'm really struggling today. I'm only at day 18, but I'm really determined to make this work so I'm looking for some advice. I used to come on here and post hoping someone would side with my AV and justify drinking, but this time I am looking for some help, suggestions, and advice.

I have a week of vacation coming up in the next few weeks. With weekends, it will come out to 10 days off of work. My job is fairly stressful and I have identified stress and overworking myself as huge trigger.

But, I am concerned about having that much time off. It will be the week of my birthday so naturally I will want to celebrate. I'm worried if I don't take the week off, I will end up stressed out from work. But I am also worried having that much time off to myself will lead to boredom and my AV is strongest when I'm at home with nothing to do.

Does anyone have any experience with this? Or any thoughts, advice, suggestions. Anything really!

I'd say my two biggest triggers are work-related stress and boredom. I REFUSE to give in this time. I want to make the right decisions to prevent putting myself in situations where willpower alone might not be enough. Thanks everyone!

ScottFromWI

Make some specific plans for you week off so you keep busy. Take a trip, reorganize your house, plant a garden, go to some museums, have a garage sale, etc.

Perhaps making a daily plan ahead of time too and physically writing it down will help. You can still celebrate your birthday too, there are plenty of ways to do so that don't involve alcohol.

doggonecarl

I suggest you start planning on what you are going to do. And I mean account for every hour so you don't fall into the boredom trap.

As for your birthday, congrats. You might want to make sure that your celebration doesn't include alcohol, or the threat of alcohol.

Anna

I agree with the above.

Plan your birthday celebration with frozen yogurt, ice-cream and cake. There's no need to have alcohol involved. I think balance is key so boredom and/or stress are not desirable. I think you can enjoy your two weeks off. Plan things you've wanted to do but haven't had time to do. Take up a new hobby or start a course. Even better, do something for someone else.

Ruby2

Yes. I quit drinking on a Sunday before a week off of work. I was scared I would spend ten days in pajamas, sobering up only enough so that I could pick up my kids at school.

What did I do? I made plans. I went to AA meetings in the morning. I cleaned around the house. I drafted my mother to come over to help me paint my daughter's bedroom. I called friends and got together with them for coffee.

It's super that you are giving this advance thought. In the past though, if I thought I had a choice between stressful job or staying sober, I seriously thought I'd just skip the days off.

Soberwolf

I too agree with Scott & Carl

SoberCAH

I really enjoy reading and participating in various types of exercise (including running).

When I was young, and drinking every night, I seemed to have to burn a village or sacrifice a virgin just to have a good time.

Now, I don't need to have that level of stimulation and decadence to enjoy myself.

A huge part of getting and staying sober is that we change.

We are not our old selves (thank God).

I go to AA meetings when I am out of town (it's fun meeting and getting to know some of the local drunks), which may or may not be what you do, but it has worked for me.

Work related stress is probably the most challenging feeling I encounter.

It is almost a natural by-product of living in today's society.

But I wouldn't trade my job for anything, including for drinking (which would most assuredly end it).

Working makes me feel relevant (I know, I am probably co-dependent).

I derive a lot of satisfaction from it.

It helps me to have a proper perspective about work.

I am human, and I make mistakes sometimes after many years of plying my trade.

It's hard to accept those mistakes, and the fear of making them can create somewhat of a struggle.

But I think that I have a purpose in life, so I press on and am grateful to have the work.

I have done many things for a living for the last 42 years I have been in the work force.

Glad you are here.

I hope that you stick around and that you get and stay sober.

And I also hope that you enjoy your vacation.

heartcore

I'm voting on the side of filling up all that time with healing and rejuvenating activities...

I also work an intense and stressful job, and I never have all the time I want to care for myself. Sort of a "sobriety staycation."

Consider your time off as almost a high-end recovery program - you could schedule time at the gym, massage, 12 step meetings if you go to those, sitting in a cafe writing in your journal, cooking amazing meals, hiking, yoga class, etc.

I just took three days off work as "catch up" days - I did my personal paperwork (which is the first thing to go when I'm overly busy) for 4 hours a day, and then gave myself the rest of the time as a treat. I got a massage, got a facial, went to daytime meetings, etc. It was rejuvenating AND I got some of the paperwork chores out of the way that were sitting heavily on my shoulders. I felt lighter and more in control of my life when I returned to work.

Enjoy! Time is a great gift!

NikTes

Try to do something special for yourself each day? What if you did something small for yourself each morning, afternoon, and evening? Book in "treat" time. Yes! I'm getting excited for you! A sobriety staycation! Trip to an art gallery, coffee shop, museum, new hair cut, breakfast with a friend, movie, long bath? Maybe even a drive somewhere? The list is endless!

Alynn

I agree with making plans.. Do you attend AA or have another friend in recovery? I would try to attend meetings and keep myself accountable everyday. Keep a journal and write in everyday?

johnt99

How about one of those spa/retreat trips where you do exercise classes, yoga, mediation, eat healthy meals and relax... If that's a possibility. I've always wanted to go somewhere like that in a beautiful locale. I'm sure its expensive though.

Kafkaesque

SoberCAH, you are very right that we have to change to stay sober. I think I get to this point where I change certain aspects of my life, but I don't change enough aspects and fall into the same trap after a month or two sober. So I wanted to make sure I was making the right changes this time around (this time last year, I would have taken the time off but had nothing planned and end up making last minute plans to meet friends at bars...) I also get a lot of satisfaction from my job so sometimes when I am busy there, it makes me even more motivated to stay sober so I'm not losing productivity, but there are times where I get overwhelmed and I used to use it as an excuse to justify drinking. Not this time, though!!

Thank you everyone for all of your responses! It sounds like the general consensus is to have a sober staycation.

Scott, NikTes, Heartcore, Alynn, and John, I love all of your ideas! I think that having some sort of middle ground between posting on SR and attending AA meetings while filling up the time with museums, exercising, and meeting friends for coffee! I also agree that I should plan just about every minute of every day because I don't want any EXCUSE to let the AV take over.

Alynn, I do keep a journal! I write in it Monday - Friday, but I don't usually write in it during the weekends because I try to keep myself busy enough to the point where I don't even think to write in it. I think that's a great idea about keeping myself accountable during that time I am off of work.

I really want to make this work, and I'm not going to fail this time! I will keep you all updated with how my sober staycation goes Thank you everyone again for all of your responses! You don't know how much you have helped me in general, and especially today when my AV is strongest.

Kafkaesque

OH I've always wanted to go to one of those spa retreat places! I am going to have to look into that... I bet it is expensive but that would be a real treat! I can't think of a better way to celebrate my birthday.

hopeful4

Are you allowed to split up your time, take half of a week now and half later in the year, which would give you less of a chunk of time at once? Just a thought.

Kafkaesque

I normally would be able to, but I have the time off because I'm starting a new job and my last day at my current job and first day at my future are split up so that I have 10 days in a row off.

I think I will take small chunks of time off though in the future that way I HAVE to stay busy to fit everything in during the time off.