14er

Hi, everyone. First, I want to say a belated "thanks" to everyone who posts at this site for sharing their successes and struggles. With the help of this site I'm over 6 weeks sober and am more than ever convinced that what I need is to never drink alcohol again. Since flipping the switch in my brain almost two months back that I have no other option but fully abstaining, it has been great to reap the initial rewards of a sober life.

I have I admit, however, I'm struggling through all of the "firsts" of not drinking. By that, I mean just when I'm happy I made it through my first weeknight not drinking, then there is a first weekend to make it through, then first work social event, then first group dinner date with friends, first St. Patrick's Day (in downtown Chicago with my Irish family, nonetheless!), first March Madness, first backyard BBQ with great spring weather, etc....you get the picture.

I haven't been close to drinking at any of these points, I just look forward to not being so mentally exhausted as I get used to this new sober life. Wondering if anyone else has had the same feelings.

Thanks again, everyone.

Dee74

It will get better 14er.
Like any new skill what was once onerous becomes the norm, and matteroffact

stick with it

D

least

It's hard at first, yes, and seems a little overwhelming sometimes. But it will get better and will not seem like such an effort. As you get more sober time it will feel more normal.

Congrats on six weeks!

LBrain

heck yeah, even months later when I started to do summer yard maintenance - that was the worst for me. Fishing season, hunting season, football season,
I had a year of firsts, we all do. We get through it the best we can. When I was 'struggling' I quit what I was doing that 'triggered' me and signed onto SR. I had many years of a habit ingrained into my existence.

gettingsmarter

I am finding it kinda crazy that everything is a first now. Even listening to a song I've heard a million times while not using is a first. Although tough and odd feeling, I find that at least I can feel it. Gets easier each time.

Thepatman

Remember your firsts, are also the lasts firsts. ;-)

14er

Oh, no! Yard work! Didn't even think of that one that's going to be coming up soon. Ugh.

Thepatman

Yikes, I'm french, this doesn't make sense. Last firsts? Or lasts firsts? Or firsts lasts? Yikers! LOL!

Chuck39

I am trying some mental Kung fu and attempting to get a lot of firsts out of the way as soon as possible. Like let me go camping and be sober and be done with it so I can check that box. I don't know if it's a good idea or not but I also find myself stressing about all the firsts. Have a work trip this week which will be super challenging as hotels in strange cities used to be one of my favorite places to drink. Now if someone would hurry up and invite me to a wedding that would be awesome! Check, check, check.

Hevyn

The firsts gave me trouble - you're wise to acknowledge them and prepare to feel uncomfortable at times. Each time I got through one of them I grew stronger and more determined. When the firsts became seconds, I felt entirely different. Nice going 14er.

Thepatman

Perhaps trying to experience things again for the first time with the objective to see what you missed while doing them drunk would be more positive.

Camping for example, take time to look at nature, listen to the birdies. When you drank you most likely missed a lot, if like me, chasing drinks around instead of staying in the moment.

MelindaFlowers

This is great!

14er

Getting anxious just thinking about "experiencing" wedding food sober.

Chuck39

Last time I went camping I just skipped setting up the tent altogether because I was so focused on that cooler. That's all I wanted ... I could have saved myself the trouble and sat in my driveway for all the nature I absorbed. I like your suggestion patman ... I have actually been really into birds lately for some reason.

Soberwolf

It will get better nice to meet you

thomas11

hi 14er, I'll chime in. When I was drinking daily, the first couple weeks of not drinking were difficult, not necessarily because I needed the alcohol, its because it was my routine. I try and be a very structured person. It keeps me sane (I think). But once I made the decision to stop drinking all the time, I have to admit, I didn't find it terribly difficult, just different.

For example, my father took myself and my brother on a fly in fishing trip in Canada, normally I would have probably drank alot as there is literally no one else on the lake (so no risk of BWI or anything). My dad's retired and getting up there in years, so after we were frying up the morning catch for lunch he'd have a few drinks and after we ate, he would take a nap. We are in the most beautiful surroundings in the world and he wants sleep? No way, I was back out on the lake slaying the fish. And I really really enjoyed it. I actually experienced it with actual feelings and appreciation for nature. I'll remember it for the rest of my life. Caught the most and biggest fish in my life, literally 100's. Saw bear, moose, deer, otter, even a pine martin hung around the cabin. Very rare to see.

Now, as far as sporting events and weddings. I've managed the sporting events thing, I enjoy the games more believe it or not. I actually know what the score is when the game is over. haha. Weddings, sure. Wedding receptions, no, not for me. Too much drinking going on, I know I'd cave and feel like death or a couple days.

Super job on 6 weeks.