Misc72

My husband and I have 16 months sober! We just bought a house with an in-ground pool. Whoot!! We would like to introduce ourselves to the neighbors in case we are too loud with pool parties for my 13 year old son. I would like to invite the neighbors to also use our pool but how do we make a clear message that we are a sober family? Do we just announce it? We just do not want anyone showing up with alcohol or thinking that having a cocktail at the pool is acceptable. So do we tell them up front or wait for the incident? lol Thanks for any help.

doggonecarl

Maybe rethink the open-door invite to your neighbors. Then you won't have to deal with the alcohol issue or anything else that may someday cause friction between you and your neighbors.

But that's me. I grew up in the northeast and subscribe to Robert Frost's advice: "Good fences make good neighbors"

heartcore

Maybe you're a lot more relaxed than I am, but I wouldn't feel comfortable having people just wandering in and out of my yard/space to randomly use the pool...I would want to get to know the neighbors first, and see which ones I wanted to build friendships with, and then the open invitation to the pool could go to those folks that I liked...and who would already know it is a sober household.

If you're committed to the open gate/open pool policy, I'd say that your best bet is to actually post a sign of "pool rules" which includes "no alcohol" as well as some other basics like "not after 10 pm..." Then, if - in the moment - you notice someone clutching their cocktail poolside, you can just refer to the sign and re-emphasize the restriction.

I'm a fan of letting things unfold - relationships included - so although I might introduce myself to all my neighbors (because I'm a friendly one), and might even host a pool party to meet neighbors (which would allow me to note "no alcohol, please" on the invitation), I'd really wait to see the neighborhood culture and get to know folks before I passed out open invitations. It is a lot more awkward to un-invite someone than to not invite them in the first place!

biminiblue

It is perfectly acceptable to tell them that you do not allow alcohol in your home. May as well weed out the over-drinkers early on.

Sounds like fun. I've been to many no alcohol parties.

*edit to say, I don't think she was saying, "Hey, welcome any time." Pools are definitely invite-only due to the danger involved.

Soberwolf

I have a no alcohol rule in my home anyone who knows me respects that and has no problem with that

Misc72

I didn't mean and open pool to the neighbors. I meant to hand out cards with our phone number is case we are too loud. And maybe invite them occasionally but definitely not anytime. I like my privacy too much.

Aellyce

We did this with a sober friend last summer at his place in California, I was staying in his house for a couple weeks when I worked over there. The organization was the combo of what heartcore and bimini said and it was invitation only. We had a lot of fun and I wish you the same!

INgal

When we put our pool in, we invited the couple next door over (the people on the other side had one already). The only people it would ever affect are the ones immediately next door. If you invite them for dessert and coffee poolside, you can control the situation.

Thepatman

Nothing wrong with saying hello. But an open door policy can be costly if the neighbor ends up drowning in your pool while your not there. Just saying.

Nowsthetime

Hello and congrats on your new place.

I believe they will really appreciate if you come to the door and introduce yourselves and leave them your number and your name just in case you ever get too loud. You can mention your pool rules casually. I think it's better to do it before the incident.

Hav fun in your new pool!!!