Hello, I'm new...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 9
Hello, I'm new...
Hello.
My name's Samantha, I'm from England but live in Germany. I've had a drinking problem for about 15 years. It's had all kinds of disastrous consequences...arrested, hospitalised, lost friends, family, jobs, everyone and everything. I went to a therapy for 6 weeks. It kind of helped. I didn't drink for 6 months. Then I started again with the odd tipple, just to see if I could drink responsibly and only have one or two...of course that didn't work. Now, I'm back to the point where I wake up in the morning and have a huge drink, then drink all day and try to control it and cover my breath with mints and hide the alcohol everywhere. I'm now at breaking point. I think it's going to kill me and I have lost absolutely everything. I don't know why I do this, or how to get out of it. So far today my day has been waking up, having a bottle of wine in the bath, now I'm just waiting for it to get dark so I can spend the evening in bed drinking, crying and being alone. I have no more alcohol left so will have to go out and get some. That will be the highlight of my day. For now, I just wish I had a bottle of vodka next to me. Urgh. Thank you for listening!
My name's Samantha, I'm from England but live in Germany. I've had a drinking problem for about 15 years. It's had all kinds of disastrous consequences...arrested, hospitalised, lost friends, family, jobs, everyone and everything. I went to a therapy for 6 weeks. It kind of helped. I didn't drink for 6 months. Then I started again with the odd tipple, just to see if I could drink responsibly and only have one or two...of course that didn't work. Now, I'm back to the point where I wake up in the morning and have a huge drink, then drink all day and try to control it and cover my breath with mints and hide the alcohol everywhere. I'm now at breaking point. I think it's going to kill me and I have lost absolutely everything. I don't know why I do this, or how to get out of it. So far today my day has been waking up, having a bottle of wine in the bath, now I'm just waiting for it to get dark so I can spend the evening in bed drinking, crying and being alone. I have no more alcohol left so will have to go out and get some. That will be the highlight of my day. For now, I just wish I had a bottle of vodka next to me. Urgh. Thank you for listening!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,366
Welcome Sam you'll find a lot of support here. I'm glad you found us.
It's difficult to stop drinking - but no more difficult than a drinking life is, I think.
If you've been drinking heavily for a long time you may want to get checked out by a Dr beforehand cos withdrawal can sometimes be rough for some of us.
Change is possible - I was a heavy drinker for 20 years and an all day everyday drinker for about five.
There is life after booze
Check out our Class of March support thread too
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-20.html
D
It's difficult to stop drinking - but no more difficult than a drinking life is, I think.
If you've been drinking heavily for a long time you may want to get checked out by a Dr beforehand cos withdrawal can sometimes be rough for some of us.
Change is possible - I was a heavy drinker for 20 years and an all day everyday drinker for about five.
There is life after booze
Check out our Class of March support thread too
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-20.html
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
Welcome Samantha. I'm newly sober, though like you I have had longish spells off the booze in the past. The hell of active drinking is still very fresh in my memory, so you have all my sympathy right now.
I'm not one to give advice, but I can tell you that I have seen many people like us here who have managed to overcome this horrible condition and make a new, brighter, happier and more productive life for themselves. There are many examples if you spend some time reading the forum.
How you get sober, assuming you want to, is up to you. There are lots of examples of different approaches here too. Perhaps the place all of them start is with really really wanting to quit for good.
All the very best to you. You are not alone!
I'm not one to give advice, but I can tell you that I have seen many people like us here who have managed to overcome this horrible condition and make a new, brighter, happier and more productive life for themselves. There are many examples if you spend some time reading the forum.
How you get sober, assuming you want to, is up to you. There are lots of examples of different approaches here too. Perhaps the place all of them start is with really really wanting to quit for good.
All the very best to you. You are not alone!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 780
Originally Posted by SamLacey 
Hello.
My name's Samantha, I'm from England but live in Germany. I've had a drinking problem for about 15 years. It's had all kinds of disastrous consequences...arrested, hospitalised, lost friends, family, jobs, everyone and everything. I went to a therapy for 6 weeks. It kind of helped. I didn't drink for 6 months. Then I started again with the odd tipple, just to see if I could drink responsibly and only have one or two...of course that didn't work. Now, I'm back to the point where I wake up in the morning and have a huge drink, then drink all day and try to control it and cover my breath with mints and hide the alcohol everywhere. I'm now at breaking point. I think it's going to kill me and I have lost absolutely everything. I don't know why I do this, or how to get out of it. So far today my day has been waking up, having a bottle of wine in the bath, now I'm just waiting for it to get dark so I can spend the evening in bed drinking, crying and being alone. I have no more alcohol left so will have to go out and get some. That will be the highlight of my day. For now, I just wish I had a bottle of vodka next to me. Urgh. Thank you for listening!
My name's Samantha, I'm from England but live in Germany. I've had a drinking problem for about 15 years. It's had all kinds of disastrous consequences...arrested, hospitalised, lost friends, family, jobs, everyone and everything. I went to a therapy for 6 weeks. It kind of helped. I didn't drink for 6 months. Then I started again with the odd tipple, just to see if I could drink responsibly and only have one or two...of course that didn't work. Now, I'm back to the point where I wake up in the morning and have a huge drink, then drink all day and try to control it and cover my breath with mints and hide the alcohol everywhere. I'm now at breaking point. I think it's going to kill me and I have lost absolutely everything. I don't know why I do this, or how to get out of it. So far today my day has been waking up, having a bottle of wine in the bath, now I'm just waiting for it to get dark so I can spend the evening in bed drinking, crying and being alone. I have no more alcohol left so will have to go out and get some. That will be the highlight of my day. For now, I just wish I had a bottle of vodka next to me. Urgh. Thank you for listening!
Welcome to SR. I'm sorry for what youre going through just now but you can leave that life behind.
The hightlight of my day was getting drink or being drunk. I didnt think I could function without alcohol being in my life in any form. Turns out its quite possible if you want it. 9 months ago I hated myself, life was like groundhog day and I could barely look at myself in the mirror. Today its a completely different story.
Reaching out for support is a good step and you will find loads here. I also attend AA which has been truly beneficial to me getting sober.
Wishing you well. You can do this.
Leigh x
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
Ditto to what has already been said. Vodka was me too--and all day. I really wanted to quit. Sounds like you do too. Put together a Detox plan. Stick with it and keep talking with those that can help (either here, a counselor or support group). I started right where you are at almost 10 months ago and found this site. It has been my greatest asset. Whatever it takes--use every tool you can find--there are many here and the support of folks just like us. Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 105
Hi Samantha
I am new here too. As such, I am afraid I am a bit short on advice but not on encouragement! Your current life sounds like it is really hard work, emotionally and physically, so I wish you every success in changing it for a new life - one that brings you enjoyment and peace. People certainly manage it, all round the world and every day in great nuymbers - so we can too!
So, I will leave the advice to others but from me, I say go for it and take every ounce of help you can get in the early days - medical (if needed), social, therapeutic and practical.
I really appreciated your open and honest post.
best wishes
CC
I am new here too. As such, I am afraid I am a bit short on advice but not on encouragement! Your current life sounds like it is really hard work, emotionally and physically, so I wish you every success in changing it for a new life - one that brings you enjoyment and peace. People certainly manage it, all round the world and every day in great nuymbers - so we can too!
So, I will leave the advice to others but from me, I say go for it and take every ounce of help you can get in the early days - medical (if needed), social, therapeutic and practical.
I really appreciated your open and honest post.
best wishes
CC
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 9
Thank you all! Usually I just get anger and no support. It's so refreshing here.
I don't want my life to be like this. I want to be able to function like a normal human being, without needing alcohol.
It's always the same: When I'm drinking, I feel like I can handle life and be in it and kind of like I just make everything a bit numb. I love the way drinking makes me feel...like immune to hurt and just, well, able to live.
But it's ALWAYS the same. The next day I wake up, burdened with the mass of destruction I've caused the day/night before and I regret it terribly and wish I never would have drunk. But then, I reach for the bottle. Normally I black out and then still have some alcohol left over, so in the morning, I finish what's left in my glass, and the cycle starts all over again.
When will it stop? I want to able to function normally without needing alcohol. And I went through spells of sobriety and it was great.
I'll be 30 on Thursday.
And I haven't got a friend in the world to share it with. Because of my drinking. That makes me so sad.
I don't want my life to be like this. I want to be able to function like a normal human being, without needing alcohol.
It's always the same: When I'm drinking, I feel like I can handle life and be in it and kind of like I just make everything a bit numb. I love the way drinking makes me feel...like immune to hurt and just, well, able to live.
But it's ALWAYS the same. The next day I wake up, burdened with the mass of destruction I've caused the day/night before and I regret it terribly and wish I never would have drunk. But then, I reach for the bottle. Normally I black out and then still have some alcohol left over, so in the morning, I finish what's left in my glass, and the cycle starts all over again.
When will it stop? I want to able to function normally without needing alcohol. And I went through spells of sobriety and it was great.
I'll be 30 on Thursday.
And I haven't got a friend in the world to share it with. Because of my drinking. That makes me so sad.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
Many here identify with your experience, I feel it and it’s a good remember when for me.
I battled alcohol for too long and lost to it’s power hold on me until I let go of it completely. It was scary because I treated it like a best friend I didn’t want to loose.
Fortunately life without it, as you discovered, is far more sane and tranquil if we work and change ourselves so that alcohol is not looked at as a needed escape.
BE WELL
Many here identify with your experience, I feel it and it’s a good remember when for me.
I battled alcohol for too long and lost to it’s power hold on me until I let go of it completely. It was scary because I treated it like a best friend I didn’t want to loose.
Fortunately life without it, as you discovered, is far more sane and tranquil if we work and change ourselves so that alcohol is not looked at as a needed escape.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,854
Welcome, SamLacey, to SR.
You can turn this around and head into a brighter future.
As Dee mentioned, a visit with your doctor to discuss your plans to stop drinking and for help with detox could be a good and safe way to start your sobriety.
SR is here for you 24/7/365.
You can turn this around and head into a brighter future.
As Dee mentioned, a visit with your doctor to discuss your plans to stop drinking and for help with detox could be a good and safe way to start your sobriety.
SR is here for you 24/7/365.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
HI Sam. I know what you are going through. I am the same type of Drinker. Waking up and the first thing you think of is how much booze you have left. Panic sets in as you try to process your thoughts and what you did the night before. All you want is to immediately numb yourself again and get to that 'happy place' where things don't seem so bad. I would watch the clock minute by minute until the liquor store would be open and I could get my medicine.
The first step is to sober up/detox. Then seek out support. we are here for you but you need to involve some people in your life too. I have gone through some terrible withdrawals alone that were dangerous. You need to see a doctor or you can go to the ER.
The first step is to sober up/detox. Then seek out support. we are here for you but you need to involve some people in your life too. I have gone through some terrible withdrawals alone that were dangerous. You need to see a doctor or you can go to the ER.
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