justinJustQuit

Failed again. Was doing excellent since January 3. Now I'm back in the same boat. Detoxing again.

I'm making great progress in the grand scheme of things, but I just cannot stay sober for longer than a couple months. I've tried pretty damn much everything I can think of.

So I'm going to go to more AA meetings I suppose and make sure I don't run out of the craving pills. I'm just so down about this.

My doctor told me to try making it without craving pills if I could. Well I obviously can't.

PurpleKnight

Hey Justin, welcome back!!

What support have you been using, as you haven't posted a thread on SR since January?

For me I needed daily support to keep me focused on the task at hand, I couldn't do it on my own, willpower and good intentions only got me so far, instead I found I needed something outside of myself to give me a second opinion on things!!

Good to hear you're increasing AA meetings, that sounds like a good idea!!

You can do this!! Don't beat yourself up!!

Dee74

I think it's good you're trying new things Justin - I hope AA works for you

Like PK says I think you have to work at maintaining recovery for a while...really commit to daily tune ups...after a while it becomes automatic to a certain extent, but you really need to avoid complacency in those early months
D

Shining~Again

/edited after OP posted after me.

If the craving pills are a problem, then my "suggestion" wouldn't make any sense.

justinJustQuit

I mean I was going to AA, and seeing a therapist.

It seems to me the doctors are inept. Every time I go to the doctor to get refills for craving pills, he gives me a crap load of benzos which is basically a license to drink. I've told him that if he keeps giving me these, I'm not strong enough to not get them filled.

And on top of that, he gave me clonazepam which is way stronger than the usual stuff. Benzos don't do what alcohol did for me so I'm not worried about getting addicted to them. But i can totally see how someone would.

Soberwolf

Justin finally accept that when you drink this happens and not only that accept it will keep getting worse if you continue to drink

figure out what is triggering you and change that no matter what accept youl never drink in any given situation & whether its a day at a time or forever just accept you cant drink safely or responsibly and work
from there do things that will reinforce your sobriety strenghten and keep building sober muscles have a plan in place use every tool there is

ultimately this comes down on you its your life and i know it will improve by removing alcohol but you have to remove the alcohol and witness it for yourself

here for you 24/7 you can do this Justin

EndGameNYC

Hi Justin.

AA's program of recovery is working and then living the AA Big Book Twelve Steps. Many people have an issue with the Steps, or at least some of them, but I wouldn't have achieved sobriety without them.

I didn't really care about the science of the Steps or whether or not God exists or was the "right way" for me. I just focused on getting sober.

I hope that your last day one is behind you. In a good way.

Dee74

for alcoholics, perhaps...

If you don't drink again you won't need the Drs anyway

D

anattaboy

Wow homie, sorry to hear that. You may want to google the benzo/alcohol connection (how they both feed the gaba "hole"). I always drank from the WD's from them even after an extended taper. Just my 2 cents. Any which way we can. Best wishes.

justinJustQuit

Yeah I know about the cross tolerance and all that. That's why they work for detox which is great.

But if I keep taking these, I'll have benzo withdrawal too eventually I'm sure.

Bmac

My experience has taught me that a good psychiatrist is necessary for my mental and emotional health, which will ultimately work towards a healthy recovery. If you are unsure of your current doctor's diagnosis and/or recommendations, get another opinion.

You did not fail bro, you made it THREE months! Would you have ever thought you could have gone three months last year at this time? You got this!

ScottFromWI

Welcome back Justin. You've been at this for quite some time now. I've made this observation before but I'll make it again: You have a pattern of coming here and spending a great deal of time posting while you go through withdrawals, and you make plans to post regularly after that, but then you disappear within a week or two. I don't know if you are doing the same locally with AA and your other support, but ask yourself if you are truly committed to following through after Detox. And if you are not, how can you become more committed?

You are young, but you don't get unlimited chances at this. Why not make a plan that you can keep?

Thepatman

Scott has a good point. Detox is one thing, nurturing sobriety another, and actually were the hard work is.

justinJustQuit

Thanks guys. I know I need to go back to the drawing board.

ScottFromWI

We are here to help you draw the plan if you want us to. Many of us have been on the same rollercoaster ride that you are on...but it's literally true that you can get off whenever you want. It is work...and you won't like some parts of it. But it is 100% possible to achieve sobriety...and that means you too.