Changing your life completely.....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: London
Posts: 172
Changing your life completely.....
Iam no stranger to recovery been trying to quit for many years.. I hear all the time that we must change our lives completely to recover.
Could some long term sober people give me some examples of how they have changed there lives...
Thanks all
Could some long term sober people give me some examples of how they have changed there lives...
Thanks all
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,466
Well, I do think that's true. For me, it was anyways.
I needed to reconnect spiritually (not religious necessarily), but I needed to be able to listen to my soul and find my purpose in life. I had to change my thinking and make myself stop being hyper-critical of myself. I had to find good things to say about me. I had to open myself up to friends which had not been easy for me, and especially learn to trust my women friends. I had to find small things that would bring me peace and joy on a daily basis.
I needed to reconnect spiritually (not religious necessarily), but I needed to be able to listen to my soul and find my purpose in life. I had to change my thinking and make myself stop being hyper-critical of myself. I had to find good things to say about me. I had to open myself up to friends which had not been easy for me, and especially learn to trust my women friends. I had to find small things that would bring me peace and joy on a daily basis.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,756
When I was about three months sober, I hit a rough patch. Depressed. Didn't see the point in being sober. It was suggested by someone that I express my gratitude every day for the blessings in my life. So I did. 
Every day I would find something, no matter how small, to be grateful for. And it became a habit.
It changed my whole attitude, and thus my life, to be grateful and content with what I am blessed with. I am much happier these days counting my blessings than I used to be when I was so dissatisfied with my life.
Every day I would find something, no matter how small, to be grateful for. And it became a habit. It changed my whole attitude, and thus my life, to be grateful and content with what I am blessed with. I am much happier these days counting my blessings than I used to be when I was so dissatisfied with my life.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by least 
When I was about three months sober, I hit a rough patch. Depressed. Didn't see the point in being sober. It was suggested by someone that I express my gratitude every day for the blessings in my life. So I did. Every day I would find something, no matter how small, to be grateful for. And it became a habit. It changed my whole attitude, and thus my life, to be grateful and content with what I am blessed with. I am much happier these days counting my blessings than I used to be when I was so dissatisfied with my life.
Every day I would find something, no matter how small, to be grateful for. And it became a habit. It changed my whole attitude, and thus my life, to be grateful and content with what I am blessed with. I am much happier these days counting my blessings than I used to be when I was so dissatisfied with my life. Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Some specific examples of changes I have made in my life
1. I do not hang out in drinking establishments anymore. I eat at restaurants that have bars in them but I simply have no need to hang out in areas where drinking is the main focus anymore.
2. There were several people that I spent time drinking with that I no longer have contact with. Most of them were really just drinking buddies anyway, and once I stopped I don't have anything in common with them anymore.
3. I spend time every single day on SR reading and trying to help others. I feel it's necessary for me to always be vigilant of the fact that I will always be an alcoholc, and I will never be "cured". I must remind myself of that daily.
4. I pay specific attention to treating many of the underlying issues I had that I used as excuses to drink. Many of them were caused by drinking of course and have since cleared up, but I still deal with anxiety at times. I have taken the initiative to find alternatives to treating it than just drinking.
1. I do not hang out in drinking establishments anymore. I eat at restaurants that have bars in them but I simply have no need to hang out in areas where drinking is the main focus anymore.
2. There were several people that I spent time drinking with that I no longer have contact with. Most of them were really just drinking buddies anyway, and once I stopped I don't have anything in common with them anymore.
3. I spend time every single day on SR reading and trying to help others. I feel it's necessary for me to always be vigilant of the fact that I will always be an alcoholc, and I will never be "cured". I must remind myself of that daily.
4. I pay specific attention to treating many of the underlying issues I had that I used as excuses to drink. Many of them were caused by drinking of course and have since cleared up, but I still deal with anxiety at times. I have taken the initiative to find alternatives to treating it than just drinking.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
I am almost eighteen months sober. In the beginning, I really limited my evening activities and sometimes I went to bed very early if that is what it took. If I went out in the evenings, it was to the movies, or classes or stores, nothing related to alcohol. (for me, evenings and weekends were my drinking times) And of course, I did not keep any of my drink of choice, red wine, in the house. Now I can go anywhere in the evenings and I am not interested in drinking, but I have very little interest in bars or the party scene because I am no longer a drinker and I find really drunk people annoying and boring. (how's that for hypocritical??)
I kind of went on an all over health kick where I started taking supplements, exercising more, I took up yoga, and I gave up other bad things for me like red meat and Diet Coke. So, drinking alcohol started to seem really ridiculous in light of all my other health efforts. Gulping poisonous, extra sugar calories didn't fit into the health plan.
Finally, I always told on myself in the beginning of sobriety, meaning if I was going to attend an event which involved alcohol or old drinking buddies, I made sure they knew beforehand that I wouldn't be drinking. I would have been really embarrassed to drink having told them that I wasn't going to drink alcohol.
A lot of us alcoholic types are extremely stubborn people. I know I am. That really worked for me in the beginning of sobriety. In my mind, I was giving sobriety a 3 month shot (which was nothing compared to 27 years of drinking). Well, I liked sobriety so much, I kept challenging myself to more time, that now I am at the state of almost no cravings and the mindset that drinking alcohol "is for suckers." (to quote an old mobster related to Bugsy)
Good luck!!
I kind of went on an all over health kick where I started taking supplements, exercising more, I took up yoga, and I gave up other bad things for me like red meat and Diet Coke. So, drinking alcohol started to seem really ridiculous in light of all my other health efforts. Gulping poisonous, extra sugar calories didn't fit into the health plan.
Finally, I always told on myself in the beginning of sobriety, meaning if I was going to attend an event which involved alcohol or old drinking buddies, I made sure they knew beforehand that I wouldn't be drinking. I would have been really embarrassed to drink having told them that I wasn't going to drink alcohol.
A lot of us alcoholic types are extremely stubborn people. I know I am. That really worked for me in the beginning of sobriety. In my mind, I was giving sobriety a 3 month shot (which was nothing compared to 27 years of drinking). Well, I liked sobriety so much, I kept challenging myself to more time, that now I am at the state of almost no cravings and the mindset that drinking alcohol "is for suckers." (to quote an old mobster related to Bugsy)
Good luck!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
Originally Posted by least
When I was about three months sober, I hit a rough patch. Depressed. Didn't see the point in being sober. It was suggested by someone that I express my gratitude every day for the blessings in my life. So I did. Every day I would find something, no matter how small, to be grateful for. And it became a habit.
It changed my whole attitude, and thus my life, to be grateful and content with what I am blessed with. I am much happier these days counting my blessings than I used to be when I was so dissatisfied with my life.
Every day I would find something, no matter how small, to be grateful for. And it became a habit. It changed my whole attitude, and thus my life, to be grateful and content with what I am blessed with. I am much happier these days counting my blessings than I used to be when I was so dissatisfied with my life.
Stingy athlete recovery method
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: U. S. A.
Posts: 754
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Some specific examples of changes I have made in my life
1. I do not hang out in drinking establishments anymore. I eat at restaurants that have bars in them but I simply have no need to hang out in areas where drinking is the main focus anymore.
2. There were several people that I spent time drinking with that I no longer have contact with. Most of them were really just drinking buddies anyway, and once I stopped I don't have anything in common with them anymore.
3. I spend time every single day on SR reading and trying to help others. I feel it's necessary for me to always be vigilant of the fact that I will always be an alcoholc, and I will never be "cured". I must remind myself of that daily.
4. I pay specific attention to treating many of the underlying issues I had that I used as excuses to drink. Many of them were caused by drinking of course and have since cleared up, but I still deal with anxiety at times. I have taken the initiative to find alternatives to treating it than just drinking.
1. I do not hang out in drinking establishments anymore. I eat at restaurants that have bars in them but I simply have no need to hang out in areas where drinking is the main focus anymore.
2. There were several people that I spent time drinking with that I no longer have contact with. Most of them were really just drinking buddies anyway, and once I stopped I don't have anything in common with them anymore.
3. I spend time every single day on SR reading and trying to help others. I feel it's necessary for me to always be vigilant of the fact that I will always be an alcoholc, and I will never be "cured". I must remind myself of that daily.
4. I pay specific attention to treating many of the underlying issues I had that I used as excuses to drink. Many of them were caused by drinking of course and have since cleared up, but I still deal with anxiety at times. I have taken the initiative to find alternatives to treating it than just drinking.
I am starting to feel comfortable at restaurants (your #1), but know that I tend to cave into peer pressure and therefore need to be careful about the company I keep, just as you recommend (your #2).
I feel lucky in that I have emerging interests that have the potential to lead to a new social circle. The trick will be to find the energy to pursue interests rather than spiral downwards due to PAWS, depression, and the like.
Mel
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
I almost never drank excessively in public, so avoiding public drinking venues (parties, bars, etc.) wasn't necessary for me. I was much more vulnerable to drinking when I was left at home by myself. I had to learn how to do that without using it as an opportunity to drink. The only way I knew how to do that was to DO it a few times - be home alone and not drink. Once I had done it a few times it started to become not such a big deal.
I also had to get over the sense of unfairness that I couldn't drink. I had some world class pity parties over how unfair the universe was that drinking had to be off limits for me. What really got me over that was building a great sober life. I have a tremendous amount of positive things going on right now, and all I had to give up to get them was alcohol. It was a very small price to pay.
I also had to get over the sense of unfairness that I couldn't drink. I had some world class pity parties over how unfair the universe was that drinking had to be off limits for me. What really got me over that was building a great sober life. I have a tremendous amount of positive things going on right now, and all I had to give up to get them was alcohol. It was a very small price to pay.
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