amberly

Talked to an attorney today. Apparently divorce is the obvious option in my situation and it is clear to everyone but me.

I have been waivering but, in my heart, I know divorce is best for us.

Still I can't stop leaking- I am crying so hard from the sorrow and regrets and I am so nervous about bringing it up when we talk tonight that I am literally sweating.

FireSprite

Do you have to talk tonight? Can you give yourself time to adjust before having that conversation? You know; Don't just do something.... Stand there! (((((hugs)))))

amberly

The treatment facility won't let him call after tonight- until Sunday. I really feel like I should address it now before I have too much time to second guess myself and fall back into the easy, but miserable, way of things.

Mango blast

(((amberly)))

I've had people with the best of intentions tell me what I have to do, but that never helped me. It only tied me in knots because the reality is that as much as my husband needed the freedom to find his own way, I also needed the freedom from other people's judgement and pushing to find my own way. It didn't happen overnight, yet one day at a time healing is happening. Maybe consider if you need space and some quietness from all this for a bit?

amberly

Well I did it. I talked AH and brought up separating and it just wrecked him- and me. But I feel better knowing he is in a treatment facility with professional support right now.

I feel horrible. Like I just kicked a kitten. I don't think I will sleep well tonight.

I just hope I can be strong. I feel so weak right now. If I could call hom and take it back I would even though that would be a step backwards. I feel like yet another piece of my soul has just ripped away.

Latte

Oh amberly, I am so sorry that your marriage is ending.

My marriage ended the same way. I am now clean but on 12/14/13 I went to rehab and shortly after that was served with divorce papers. It had been over for awhile, but it's still a blow. I know it was what needed to happen but it still was hard.

My qualifier is that I was raised by an alcoholic Father, which always ads such a lovely flair in the path of addiction/alcoholism.

My ex-husband did a lot of crying, as did I and I started an antidepressant because my brain is broken and I know that. I still have bad days, but we are both happier people. Our children are happier. I'm not saying they are jumping up and down because we are divorced, but they are doing better. The chaos is gone. I am calmer, and so is their Father.

I will be thinking of you.

latte

amberly

Why am I surprised that he did not care about me at all? All he could talk about was how screwed he was. Also earlier he had asked me to send him pictures- of the dogs. Thank you ladies and gents for being so supportive thus far. I have only been posting for a short time but you have given me support, perspective and hope.

maia1234

((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))

SeriousKarma

Amberly, hon, you deserve to be happy. I know this is rough, but you'll get through it.

He can get through it too if he chooses to. Maybe not with you, but happy and healthy. The choice is his.

You're doing the right thing for the both of you.

((((((( hugs )))))))