Here I go again...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: CA
Posts: 25
Here I go again...
Checking in. I started my journey here about a month ago. I tried and stayed away from alcohol. Just found out my wife have been cheating on me. So, my AV is my friend for now.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Tushar 
Checking in. I started my journey here about a month ago. I tried and stayed away from alcohol. Just found out my wife have been cheating on me. So, my AV is my friend for now.
However, your AV is not your friend and drinking is not the answer. Remember the shame that brought you here in the first place.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Tushar
Thanks doggone. I know what brought me here. But now my sadness is overpowering my shame. 23 yrs down the drain.
No I do not plan to drink today or ever. I want to make sure I keep that plan.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
So sorry to hear this tushar. Hang in there. But please don't drink. You know it will make things worse.
I know you want to put on a front for your kids but maybe them coming home for spring break is a good thing. It sounds like they are in college? Maybe you could take some time off work and spend done days with them? Tell them what's going on? They might be better support for you than you think. I dunno, just a thought.
I hope that things turn around for you soon. I can't imagine the pain of the news but try some other way to handle it other than drinking.
I know you want to put on a front for your kids but maybe them coming home for spring break is a good thing. It sounds like they are in college? Maybe you could take some time off work and spend done days with them? Tell them what's going on? They might be better support for you than you think. I dunno, just a thought.
I hope that things turn around for you soon. I can't imagine the pain of the news but try some other way to handle it other than drinking.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: CA
Posts: 25
Jillian thanks for your thoughts. Yes the kids are coming home from college for the spring break. I have already taken off couple of days from my work to deal with this devastating news. I have things piling up at work that I can't ignore. I just need some strength. How does someone cope with this kind of stuff. I have given all I got to this marriage and I have known her for 25 yrs. I just can't figure why.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,524
I'm sorry for your pain Tushar. I used to believe drinking would help me cope, but it just added to my anxiety. We need a clear head to deal with these things - but I didn't always know that. I'm glad you're here to talk things over - we care about you. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: CA
Posts: 25
All you guys are just awesome. I don't believe in god so I never turned to AA. But this forum keeps me grounded. I came here to resolve my drinking problem. And now it has become so much more than I thought. I am starting to blame myself for all of this. Is it really that I am to blame for all of this. I stayed away from drinking for about a month. My wife was on a vacation to meet friends and family. I wanted to prove that I can stay away from drinking even when she is not around. She comes back and I find that she has been cheating on me with this other guy. She told me that she was proud that I stopped drinking. But at the same time texting the other guy with all the flirt that just disgusts me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: london uk
Posts: 261
That's understandable
See if you can find out her reasons
My experience:
Often long term drinking resulting poor decision making will have taken us away from people we love
If they feel neglected long term then its natural they will look to have their needs for attention and belonging met elsewhere
After all we have used alcohol to do the very same..
The fact you have stopped drinking is a really good step and will allow you to address this with clarity and balance. And to deal with the anger, frustration and jealousy. It will really help you in making appropriate choices in this difficult time
Our thoughts are with you.. Keep posting tushar
See if you can find out her reasons
My experience:
Often long term drinking resulting poor decision making will have taken us away from people we love
If they feel neglected long term then its natural they will look to have their needs for attention and belonging met elsewhere
After all we have used alcohol to do the very same..
The fact you have stopped drinking is a really good step and will allow you to address this with clarity and balance. And to deal with the anger, frustration and jealousy. It will really help you in making appropriate choices in this difficult time
Our thoughts are with you.. Keep posting tushar
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
