aistar

Saturday I am invited to some kind of traditional family party (not my family! Old friends of my mom who happen to live in the same city as I am now).They are all lovely people expect the sister of my mom's friend .she did not like my mum 30 years ago and was jealous of the relationship between her and her sister or something like that!She is kind of sick I think.She always makes comments about my mum and she is really manipulative. She saw me blackout drunk several times in the last 2_3 years.We never talk about it but every time I see her I'm kinda nervous.Now what's my problem? ! Today I was thinking about what I'm going to wear for the party and suddenly I felt this crazy urge to drink! I thought how nice it is to having a couple of drinks before the party and even thinking about it made me feel better! I didn't drink and I don't want to but I'm so scared of this feeling. Thanks for listening.

Dee74

Is this something you could skip? It doesn't sound real great.

D

newpage119

Hi Aistar,
Time to get a plan! Think about what you will say when offered alcohol.
I find "No thanks, I don't drink" Or "Not tonight, thank you" work well!

Also I find it a great help to bring my own non-alcoholic drinks to the party. I always bring plenty extra as non-alcoholic drinks seem to be popular these days.....

Another strategy is to bring your own car, and come late and leave early....

You can do this!
Good luck!

aistar

Yes Dee.I think skipping it is the best for me now.But is it going to be like this forever?Am I going to feel like this everytime something bothers me?

Alynn

Make a plan and stick To it. Agree with yourself that it's not an option! Thinking about it is how it starts for me. Think About how proud you will be if you don't! You can do it

Dee74

It's not going to be like this forever.

I can go anywhere with anyone now - but it takes a little time to build up those 'sobriety muscles' - it's ok to start small and work up

D

aistar

I'm gonna stay close to SR.This is the only place I feel safe right now.

aistar

On the other hand ,Saturday is our new year and it's not the best feeling spending it alone.

OnMyWay7

aistar - I think you might need to do some of the work about processing what was done in the past and making amendments and forgiving yourself so that you can move on.

I know for me anxiety stress is a really bag trigger

Soberwolf

Hang in there aister D has sound advice

countrygirl2014

Yes, listen to Dee on this one. Great job talking it out.

Jennifer

Dayonesober

My new answer is, I don't drink. Good luck with whatever you decide about going but for me I never want the regrets. Again.

LBrain

I think a dressing gown and slippers would be the appropriate attire for such an event.
An event you don't have to attend at this moment in your life.

thomas11

Hi aistar, as others have said. Listen to Dee. Unless you can completely 110% know that you will not drink, forget it. Move on. You're sobriety trumps any kind of party. Just my 2 cents.

ardy

Hi Aistar kiddo do this You are the Adult now.. and there are things that others do that you are not fond of ... so be up front and blunt... I am and I will not and you need to take that someplace else... yep..

had a lady like your Mums friend years ago.. she was never nice to my Grand Ma Julia ever and behind her back she was just plain mean... when Grand Ma passed I stood at the head of her coffin for the time it was open every day. from beginning to end.. people approached and looked and me and I bowed my head and stepped back... some would look at me and I just stood my ground eye to eye.. some humbled a bit othes stood still and looked from my Grand to me and back again.. when this lady and friend approached.. I stepped in front of my Grand Mother that I loved so much... In Life you were hatefull Nasty and mean to her face and behind her back .. you will not do this here... they got that look that people say I can do that would cuddle milk.... she stood there Who do you think you are child.. Iam a Mom a Daughter and her First GrandChild I protected her in Life and do so in death.. my Pop came up and stepped them away.. I went back to grandmas side.... he came over at the end of the Day and said I am so proud of you... never said that before... so do this Take that Adult step this is Who I am. and I will not anymore take that or hear of it again. yep.. you can do it I have pride in you so much.. a Mom... ardy

aistar

Thank you everyone.I'm going to spend our new year alone this year! I guess it's not that important anyway. Nothing is more important than my sobriety.

And I hear you ardy..I'm gonna do this In a right time.For now I am going to take some time to build up sobriety muscles as everyone has said.

Carlotta

I think this is a very good choice and I am glad to hear you say that nothing is more important than your sobriety. I spent New Year's eve alone too. I had invites but I decided to pass (mainly because drunken people annoy me LOL).
I think that we all romanticize the drink once in a while. Even if it just on a nice sunny day, thinking about a cold beer on the porch. It s always a good idea to run the tape through and not just stop at that nice image of refreshment and fun.
There has been quite a few regular members on SR who have relapsed lately
For me it's a good reminder that I can't just have just one and that picking up a drink does carry consequences for us. Even if nothing bad happen, the self loathing is awful.

Hang in there

thomas11

I envy many of you. Spring and summer does not mean drink time for me, it means work. Lots of hard work. Not sure what is worse, the anxiety of the booze or the anxiety of knowing long hard working days await. But in the end, I envy the thought of relaxing warm spring days with a cold drink on the deck. It just doesn't happen for me. I wish you all well in fighting through the temptation.

aistar

Carlotta- I was thinking about that too,and I am truly thankful that they shared their experience hier on SR.I don't wanna feel like that.I am really sorry for what they went through but their posts helped me staying sober.
Again..thank you SR.

least

I'm glad you're putting your sobriety first.