thomas11

So we all know yesterday was St. Patty's Day, big drinking day. So we went over to my parents place and as expected, lots of drinking going on. Everyone wearing green, taking pictures etc... I didn't have the slightest desire to drink. I drank caffeine free diet coke on ice, its delicious when thirsty. In fact I was really looking forward to the dinner of corn beef and cabbage more than any alcohol I can even think of (I love to eat). In fact, I'll go so far as to say I could have been downtown at the parade with everyone drinking and I would have been fine. I just KNOW it. But I'll be darned if Friday rolls around and its damn difficult not to unwind with my favorite cocktail. Why is this? Some kind of switch?

Anna

I think that this disease is relentless and the AV can be lurking and looking for unexpected opportunities to make itself known.

Soberwolf

^^^^^^

heartcore

Thomas, this has happened to me many times, and I have also read about it from others here.

I will power through an alcohol based event, fully secure and confident in my sobriety. I will marvel at my solid recovery, and think that the alcohol I can smell on others' breath is yucchy and sour. I will drink bubbly non-alcoholic things, and they quench my thirst, and I wonder why I ever drank alcohol at all.

Then...a day or two later...slammed with desire.

I don't know the why and wherefore, but it has happened to me more than once, so - at the least - I can anticipate it. One of the gifts of a website like this is you can notice similar patterns in others, and it helps you just sort of accept it - like, well, there that is.

So, I will continue to attend events that I want to attend, even if others are drinking. I will continue to enjoy the feeling of contentment and solidity that I have inside my sobriety while I am there. BUT, I will also keep in mind that it is the following day which I need to nurture my sobriety, and will try to schedule going to a meeting the next day, or hanging around with sober-folk, or doing something physical or outdoors.

It is also good practice for me in not always needing to know "why," but just to know that something happens to me, and be ready for it...

nymets86

Thomas, that happens with me a lot at family events. I just don't want to get drunk in that setting and I know that if I have one, it will lead to many more. So I'll often just drink water, ginger ale, club soda, etc and usually have a good time. I'd say the same goes if I'm at a client lunch and they order a beer. Since I don't feel like a beer then, I'm totally content not to drink.

You're 100% spot on....when times come up when I want to drink, then it's hard to stop it from happening. The last few days I've been thinking about all the good times I've had at events while sober. It's going to take a lot of work to get that to be my default situation in all circumstances

kreepygreen

I am with you, and personally I think its a habitual thing. My issues were weekends as well. Did you do something different before you went to the gathering? Maybe you did something, thought something or read something, experienced something? that just put you in a really good space for getting you thru that situation with flying colors =) Or maybe you had someone lookin out for ya. I would say its a miracle for myself to be sober at all, so if sobriety alone is a miracle then what more can we be given, allot right? Heres to lookin up! And congrats on your success!

KAD

I can relate. My tendency has always been to drink alone. When I'm in a social setting and most people around me are imbibing, I honestly feel no desire whatsoever to join them. In fact, I'm repelled by it. It's when I'm at home alone, especially if I have nothing going on and nowhere to go the entire day (and God forbid it's raining), that I feel the most tempted. I guess that means other people ruined my drinking for me? They certainly made it pretty obvious how stupid people can get when they're drunk!

Alynn

happens to me also!!!!

thomas11

Bingo. I don't do social settings. Partially because i no longer trust myself. But the other is it doesn't appeal to me. I've done it all, what's one more "party" or night at the bar. Too old for that crap.

awuh1

The link between stimulus (generally in the environment) and response (behavior) has been studied since Pavlov's dogs. Addictive substances have been studied as part of the mix.

Friday after work was normally when you would drink, so this is the environmental stimulus. Alcohol was the response. It's going to take awhile to break that stimulus response pair bond enough so that alcohol is not even a thought when you come home on a Friday after work.

I suspect that you drank fewer times (total) at parties than you did on Fridays after work, so the alcohol-party link is less strong. As a result it's easier to break that stimulus response pair.

Keep in mind that emotions are often a stimulus to pick up a drink as well. They are part of the stimulus that 'prompts' a person to think of a drink. There are all sorts of combinations of factors, from emotions to memories to physical locations which factor into a stimulus. Your example of Friday after work is just one of easier ones to untangle.

KAD

I have the misfortune of having been an all day, every day drinker, so pretty much everything is a potential stimulus! People ask me what are my triggers and I find it's easier to name what isn't. At least social situations aren't one.

immri

Me too, exactly!!

Dee74

If addiction was predictable it'd be a lot easier to deal with Thomas

Many's the time I stayed true and didn't drink...but then drank the next day or the next social situation.

Stay vigilant - and nut out a really good Friday plan, man

D

esoxlucius

Same thing happened to me in a way. Last Saturday I cooked for a dinner party of 6, all friends of my girlfriend who I hardly knew (it is a newish relationship). It was stressful as a) I cooked b) I didn't know them c) I have mild social anxiety and d) I wasn't drinking (30 days sober). Loads of wine drunk by everyone there and I didn't touch it or miss it. Roll on to the next night, Sunday, back in my flat and I'm fighting off some really strong urges. Go figure...

thomas11

Thanks Dee, I actually understand that I have an addictive personality, really bad. My mind needs to be occupied constantly. If I pick up a novel to read, I darn near won't stop until I finish. If I get into movie series, I binge watch. There is only one benefit, when I start working for my business, I throw the clock out the window. Its all about getting the work completed. Just like my father actually. So, keeping myself focused on something other than my favorite cocktail is probably a great idea. But for so long, Friday has been dedicated to my favorite cocktail. Christ. sorry. Its just the truth.

Dee74

Me too - for 30 years or so - now it's not
We're all capable of change Thomas - it maybe be hard, but never let yourself believe it's impossible because it's not...

Hows your Friday recovery plan looking?

D

PurpleKnight

It's not going too well Dee:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...swat-team.html