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Started drinking in middle age

Old 03-17-2015, 07:17 PM
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Unhappy Started drinking in middle age

This is my very first post. I have never discussed my drinking with ANYONE else but my spouse before. This is hard to talk about; but you all know. I have been alcohol free for 3 weeks and 1 day. Alcohol became the buddy that always understood my sadness and regret over the estrangement of my son and his family and never judged me for 10 years......or so it seemed for most of that time. Lost pay to "being sick", arguments with my spouse
over and over again, being unavailable after hours to help family and friends when they needed me, weight gain, health issues....have to do something. I did not want to give up altogether; but virtually all my attempts of casual drinking were failures. I want to do this. I feel better; more alert, not reluctant to answer the phone in case someone heard the slur. Lying my way around things is the worst. Coming home from work my brain starts arguing with itself on the pros and cons of stopping at the liquor store for a bottle of wine.
How could I have been basically a non drinker for 47 years then end up here?

Last edited by veron1; 03-17-2015 at 07:23 PM. Reason: add another thought
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Old 03-17-2015, 07:31 PM
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Welcome Vernon. There are many of us here who didn't start until we were in our 30s and I would imagine some in their 40s. 10 years is exactly how long I made it from first blackout to can't do this anymore.
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Old 03-17-2015, 07:32 PM
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Originally Posted by veron1 View Post
This is my very first post. I have never discussed my drinking with ANYONE else but my spouse before. This is hard to talk about; but you all know. I have been alcohol free for 3 weeks and 1 day. Alcohol became the buddy that always understood my sadness and regret over the estrangement of my son and his family and never judged me for 10 years......or so it seemed for most of that time. Lost pay to "being sick", arguments with my husband over and over again, being unavailable after hours to help family and friends when they needed me, weight gain, health issues....have to do something. I did not want to give up altogether; but virtually all my attempts of casual drinking were failures. I want to do this. I feel better; more alert, not reluctant to answer the phone in case someone heard the slur. Lying my way around things is the worst. Coming home from work my brain starts arguing with itself on the pros and cons of stopping at the liquor store for a bottle of wine.
How could I have been basically a non drinker for 47 years then end up here?
It's a rough road and I know a little about how you feel. Casual drinking just doesn't work for a lot of people. I've experienced the lying, the weight issues, and rationalizing those 6PM urges to stop by the liquor store for a bottle of wine. I haven't completely fixed it yet, but I know two things: When I wake up after a night of sobriety I feel like Superman. And at this point, I can never be a casual drinker.

I don't have kids, I really wish I did - especially at 38 - but your comment about yours breaks my heart. Booze can really muddle our sense of reason. I really hope you're able to reconcile with him.
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Old 03-17-2015, 07:35 PM
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Hi Veron

I started in my twenties but you'll find others here who started later. Sadly alcoholism is no respecter of age.

What starts as a help or an aid ends up a prison....but we have the key

I'm glad you found us - congrats on 3 weeks plus

D
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Old 03-17-2015, 07:59 PM
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Welcome Veron, cool name.

I will be 56 in a couple weeks. I didn't get sober until I was almost 55.
It's never too late. Take this opportunity to fix yourself. Then you can fox other things later.
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Old 03-17-2015, 08:48 PM
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Welcome!

My problems with alcohol began in my 40's. Never too late to be an alcoholic, and truly never too late to get sober.
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Old 03-18-2015, 02:03 AM
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Welcome Veron
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Old 03-18-2015, 02:20 AM
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I was about 40, too, when I started drinking in earnest. I very rarely miss it now (I've been sober over a year). It's so nice to live calmly and freely.

PS--My granddaughter's name is Veronica.
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Old 03-18-2015, 03:52 AM
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Originally Posted by veron1 View Post
How could I have been basically a non drinker for 47 years then end up here?

Hi and congratulations with being able to see through the haze of alcohol.
Alcohol works in strange ways with different individuals. It can be a friend for years and accomplishes what we look for for years then suddenly can turn and become our worst enemy. Alcoholism is progressive meaning it never gets better than today if we continue its intake.
The fact is that alcohol is cunning, baffling, powerful and insidious.
For too many it’s a miserable way to live with ourselves and or others.

I approached AA many years ago and it has worked for me and millions to recover one day at a time in a row. It started when I kept hearing the words KEEP COMING IT WORKS IF WE WORK IT.

BE WELL
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Old 03-18-2015, 04:09 AM
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This is a good reminder to me. Came from an alcoholic family, married to an alcoholic. I need to be ever-vigilent....I'm not immune.
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Old 03-18-2015, 07:39 AM
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Welcome to the Forum Vernon!!
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Old 03-18-2015, 09:58 AM
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How are you today bud
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Old 03-18-2015, 10:15 AM
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I was a non-drinker until my late forties, too. I had emotional issues and physical issues (low blood-sugar) which made very susceptible to alcohol, so when I began drinking, it was almost instant addiction.

You can stop drinking and change your life. We do understand how difficult this is.
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