The Language of Letting Go, March 17
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The Language of Letting Go, March 17
MARCH 17
You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."
Empowering
You can think. You can feel. You can solve your problems. You can take care of yourself.
Those words have often benefited me more than the most profound and elaborate advice.
How easy it is to fall into the trap of doubting others and ourselves.
When someone tells us about a problem, what is our reaction? Do we believe we need to solve it for the person? Do we believe that that person's future rests on our ability to advise him or her? That's standing on shaky ground--not the stuff of which recovery is made.
When someone is struggling through a feeling, or a morass of feelings, what is our reaction? That the person will never survive that experience? That it's not okay for someone to feel? That he or she will never get through this intact?
When a person is faced with the task of assuming responsibility for their life and behaviors, what is our response? That the person can't do that? I must do it myself to save him or her from dissipating into ashes? From crumbling? From failing?
What is our reaction to ourselves when we encounter a problem, a feeling, or when we face the prospect of assuming responsibility for ourselves?
Do we believe in others and ourselves? Do we give power to people, ourselves, and their abilities? Or do we give the power to the problem, the feeling, or the irresponsibility?
We can learn to check ourselves out. We can learn to think, and consider our response, before we respond. "I'm sorry you're having that problem. I know you can figure out a solution. Sounds like you've got some feelings going on. I know you'll work through them and come out on the other side."
Each of us is responsible for ourselves. That does not mean we don't care. It does not mean a cold, calculated withdrawal of our support from others. It means we learn to love and support people in ways that work. It means we learn to love and support ourselves in ways that work. It means that we connect with friends who love and support us in ways that work.
To believe in people, to believe in each persons inherent ability to think, feel, solve problems, and take care of themselves is a great gift we can give and receive from others.
Today, I will strive to give and receive support that is pure and empowering. I will work at believing in myself and others and our mutual abilities to be competent at dealing with feelings, solving problems, and taking responsibility for ourselves.
©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.
You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."
Empowering
You can think. You can feel. You can solve your problems. You can take care of yourself.
Those words have often benefited me more than the most profound and elaborate advice.
How easy it is to fall into the trap of doubting others and ourselves.
When someone tells us about a problem, what is our reaction? Do we believe we need to solve it for the person? Do we believe that that person's future rests on our ability to advise him or her? That's standing on shaky ground--not the stuff of which recovery is made.
When someone is struggling through a feeling, or a morass of feelings, what is our reaction? That the person will never survive that experience? That it's not okay for someone to feel? That he or she will never get through this intact?
When a person is faced with the task of assuming responsibility for their life and behaviors, what is our response? That the person can't do that? I must do it myself to save him or her from dissipating into ashes? From crumbling? From failing?
What is our reaction to ourselves when we encounter a problem, a feeling, or when we face the prospect of assuming responsibility for ourselves?
Do we believe in others and ourselves? Do we give power to people, ourselves, and their abilities? Or do we give the power to the problem, the feeling, or the irresponsibility?
We can learn to check ourselves out. We can learn to think, and consider our response, before we respond. "I'm sorry you're having that problem. I know you can figure out a solution. Sounds like you've got some feelings going on. I know you'll work through them and come out on the other side."
Each of us is responsible for ourselves. That does not mean we don't care. It does not mean a cold, calculated withdrawal of our support from others. It means we learn to love and support people in ways that work. It means we learn to love and support ourselves in ways that work. It means that we connect with friends who love and support us in ways that work.
To believe in people, to believe in each persons inherent ability to think, feel, solve problems, and take care of themselves is a great gift we can give and receive from others.
Today, I will strive to give and receive support that is pure and empowering. I will work at believing in myself and others and our mutual abilities to be competent at dealing with feelings, solving problems, and taking responsibility for ourselves.
©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.
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This was an enormous stumbling block for me, one of the biggest habits I had developed as the oldest child in an alcoholic family. I literally saw zero separation between my sister's problems & my own; hers were mine to solve. I can't tell you how much sleep I lost, how much stress I put on both of us, how I fed the guilt & obligation on her side by being that way.
I LOVE this part:
I LOVE this part:
Originally Posted by honeypig 
Each of us is responsible for ourselves. That does not mean we don't care. It does not mean a cold, calculated withdrawal of our support from others. It means we learn to love and support people in ways that work. It means we learn to love and support ourselves in ways that work. It means that we connect with friends who love and support us in ways that work.
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Originally Posted by CodeJob
I was not programmed this way.
And of course my personal life is run the same way...
Letting go is going to feel so good!
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