Brightlight2015

Think i just need to clear my head so I can sleep. Sad today. The tears keep coming. I have people telling me good for me, keep it up, don't be too soft. And really, i wouldnt mind having my husband wrap his big bear arms arnd me and tell me everything will be all right. Alcoholic or not, he really does give good hugs. My mom is in town helping with the baby. Not sure really how i feel abt everything. Nice that she is here, not used to being so open. I am kind of a private person to begin with. I am sure its helping having her here, but its hard to explain to anyone who hasnt lived this how i feel. I miss my husband. Not the jobless guy with 2 pending duis he has become, but him too, bc he is all the same person. I think i am in mourning.

maybear

Hi, just wanted to let you know you're not alone.
I am really missing my husband too, but I think those feelings and the grief is normal. You wouldn't be human if you didn't feel that way.
It sounds like you still made the best decision for yourself, your baby and your husband. Feeling sad doesn't mean you have made the wrong one.
Hope you and the baby are ok. My daughter is 10 months. They are a handful! It's good your mum is there for support and you are opening up a little.

redatlanta

Very normal feelings.

I am glad your mom is there for you. ((((hugs))))

guava

I am so glad your Mom is helping out. Good for you for opening yourself up a little and accepting support at this challenging and well...sucky time.

I completely understand the missing your husband thing. But you have nailed it....it's not your husband in his current state that you miss - it's the man he used to be or the man you think he has the potential to be. That's my issue - I am head over heels with my husband's potential.

I'm working with my therapist to keep my brain and heart centered in reality. I've kept a journal which helps me to remember how bad things were - who he really is and not the dream guy who only resides in my imagination.

Hugs from others (your Mom, friends, etc.) while not the same, still really help too. Here's a virtual one for you! (((Hugs))) It will get better.

Butterfly

((((((Hugs)))))). You are not alone and how your feeling is perfectly normal, your mourning not only your husband, but who you want him to be and all your hopes and dreams.

I'm glad your not alone and your mum is with you. One day at a time.

knowthetriggers

I am sorry you are hurting and that you have to go thru this. I know how you feel, it is hard. It's okay to be sad.

Glad your mom is there to help you.

Warm ((((hugs))))) to you!

firebolt

(((hugs)))

walkinganewpath

((hugs)) I miss mine too. But I think most of us have been missing them long before they were physically not present.

thousandwords53

Exactly this. Sorry you are missing him. I am going through the same withdrawals. Really miss him physically. Thank goodness for our mothers! Having that extra help (even when we're used to doing it all alone) is invaluable.

It's tough to mourn someone who is still here.

searching peace

I am going through this too. I would love a hug right now also. I cannot imagine how I will ever get over this feeling. I have such a difficult time getting up in the mornings or having a conversation or taking care of everyday tasks. I would give anything for my husband back.

I am sending you hugs!!! I'm so sorry that anyone has to go through this kind of pain ever.

Duckygirl1

Normal. You're mourning the lose of your dreams and the promises he made. I had to avert a melt down at the gym yesterday. I heard the song "with arms wide open" and realized that the xabf and I would never have the family we talked about. I just knew that when he got out of rehab it would all be better.

We'd like to think that they are as sad as we are about it all, but they can't be until sober, not just abstinent, but full sober.
If they are in active addiction they never will be. There is so much joy and beauty in the world. There is another day to find peace. Don't waste all of your happy days to come wishing for days that never can be. ((((Hugs)))

amberly

Mourning is a good way to put it. I feel like this too. I don't know if this is healthy or not, but whenever I feel overwhelmed with sadness I remember some of the truly awful times. And I know that I could be feeling so much worse than sad without him right now. I could be angry and hurt and betrayed and sad with him right here with me.

Delray

It sounds like everyone needs hugs. It is so hard to let go of how things were and hope for a better future when you have to shift all your expectations of life and who you thought would walk alongside you in it. Much much hugs to you.